You can use that as a general rule…it is a Rule of Thumb. You will find it rings true something like 99.44% of the time. The only times this Rule of Thumb will not be true are when you are criticizing someone who has super-thick skin or someone who has interpersonal strengths that go a deep notch beyond 'tolerance' and 'appreciation of the differences in people'. Put another way, the only people who will receive your criticism as constructive are people who have confidence untainted by problems of ego and people who allow others to say what they must say and do what they must do.

 

Those people are few and far between.

 

Most people do not react well to criticism.

 

OK, but certainly criticism can be packaged and delivered in a way that is constructive.

 

That’s logical…isn’t it?

 

Yes – that’s logical.

 

But, remember logical Riders must deal with the reactions of emotional Elephants. And, 99.44% of Elephants do not like to be criticised. 99.44% of Elephants react negatively to criticism. It is that plain and simple.

 

Carl Jung said it this way:

 

“Criticism has the power to do good when there is something that must be destroyed, dissolved, or reduced but it is capable only of harm when there is something to be built.”

 

Franklin P. Jones made the same point in a slightly-humorous way:

 

“Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.”

 

***

 

Recognizing the general rule Constructive Criticism is an Oxymoron, we recommend 3 things:

1. Leaders should work to make their skin thick enough to place them among the few people who have developed the strength to violate the rule.
2. Leaders should refrain from criticising people.
3. Leaders should help followers develop thicker skin.