Rick Baker Thought Posts
Left Menu Space Holder

About the author

Name of author Rick Baker, P.Eng.

E-mail me Send mail
Follow me LinkedIn Twitter

Search

Calendar

<<  April 2024  >>
MoTuWeThFrSaSu
25262728293031
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293012345

View posts in large calendar

Recent Comments

Comment RSS

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, No [...and now...likely...it's over!]

by Rick Baker
On Oct 30, 2013

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, No       [...and now...likely...it's over!]

The Art of Good Questions is about asking questions that bring about 'Yes' answers.

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes.

What a fine string of 'Yeses'.

Then...

...'No'.

And, with that 'No'...'Yes' is likely over...resistance has kicked in...the other person is now either turned off, wanting to escape or ready to fight your every move.

There's a fine, sharp edge between 'Yes' and 'No'. That edge cuts quickly and deeply when you cause a person's thoughts to pass from the 'Yes' side to the 'No' side. Once the other person's thoughts are on the 'No' side, the constructive part of the conversation is over and irrecoverable. This is one of the reasons Constructive Criticism is an Oxymoron

When you criticize people you trigger their 'No' responses....and, at that point, constructive communication is over.

Sure, you may be able to present immaculate logic to try to extract the 'No' mindset from the other people...but remember, your chances are about the same as those of an unskilled rider trying to control a rather-out-of-sorts elephant.

Sure, you might try apologizing and asking to start over...if your trust bank account is flush with relationship assets then you may be able to pull that one off.

And, sure - the other person may be one of those exceptional people with thick skin...but, as you know, that's not very likely.

Add comment

biuquote
Loading

Copyright © 2012. W.F.C (Rick) Baker. All Rights Reserved.