In reaction to our fears and pain, we seek comfort & relief in the form of Bad Habits.
We develop our Bad Habits 3 ways:
- When we protect our ego by avoiding challenging situations and replacing them with not-challenging, comforting situations.
- When we bolster our ego by being aggressive with other people. Aggression appears in a wide range of forms. It can be as blatant as physical assault and as subtle as a harsh glance.
- When we justify our ego - when we support and encourage our egoic frailties - by complaining to others.
Perhaps, #3 is the most destructive because it:
- occupies the time and consumes the energy of at least 2 people, taking their attention and talents away from important work;
- tends to spread to other people...bad news tends to travel...misery enjoys company;
- has a pernicious ability to linger over time. I call this tendency to linger over time a 'Complaint Lifetime".
Complaints have the ability to live longer than the people who express them.
Prejudices are an example of long-living complaints. They are passed through time, generation to generation. It takes conscious and concerted effort to reduce and remove prejudices.