If you embrace a better definition of Integrity, you will improve your ability to Influence people.

Due to the amazing nuances of our English language you have choices about Integrity. You can choose Integrity to contain moral judgment; you can choose Integrity to mean unimpaired and sound; you can choose Integrity to mean complete. And, you can choose Integrity to mean combinations of these concepts.

Critical here is: you do not have to lace Integrity with moral judgment.

And, if you choose to remove moral judgment from your Integrity-thinking you open your mind and you simplify your thinking. You open your mind by making Integrity an external thing…not about you…about other things. Not about right and wrong. You simplify your thinking by linking Integrity with non-judgmental concepts – ‘unimpaired’ and ‘complete’…the pieces fit together…the pieces tie together…the pieces withstand scrutiny…the pieces withstand the test of time…the pieces are simple and when combined, the pieces make sense.  

When compared to moral judgment, the concepts ‘unimpaired’ and ‘complete’ are easier to measure. When compared to moral judgment, the concepts ‘unimpaired’ and ‘complete’ are easier to communicate with other people. When compared to moral judgment, the concepts ‘unimpaired’ and ‘complete’ are easier to embrace with other people.

The concepts ‘unimpaired’ and ‘complete’ open the door to common ground.

Common ground is the framework for Influence.

You can choose to define Integrity as:

1. When you know your Personal Values and
2. When you can express your Personal Values in writing [showing how you think the think] and
3. When you can talk with others about your Personal Values [talk the talk] and
4. When your actions are consistent with your Personal Values [walk the walk] and
5. When you acknowledge your think-talk-walk errors and strive to not repeat them

          …then you have Integrity.

You can let people know this definition does not contain biases in moral judgment zones.  It’s just about whether or not things are ‘unimpaired’ and ‘complete’.

Then you will, naturally, seek first to understand.

Then you will, naturally, keep your biases in check.

Then you will, naturally, expand your Influence.

PS: Very few other people have interest in your or anyone else's moral judgments...they have enough of their own...and constructive criticism is an oxymoron.

Thought Tweet #821 Life's too short to beat the laughter out of me!

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Psychologists claim people, in general, laugh less as they age. As toddlers we laugh regularly. After that, we laugh less and less. It's like life beats the laughter out of us. 

Recently I read a book by a well-established and reputable self-help organization. It taught that self-confidence is an external manifestation of one's self-esteem.

I don't agree.

Or, more accurately, I don't find that sort of education helpful.

Self-confidence is a state of mind that defines how a person thinks and feels about his or her ability to successfully handle a given situation¹ [or, at least, survive it]. Presence of self-confidence is a Good Habit². Lack of it is a Bad Habit³.

Self-esteem is a state of mind that defines a person's regard for self.  It too can be composed of Good Habits or Bad Habits.

Self-esteem doesn't generate self-confidence. If anything, the opposite is more likely to be true. Regardless, it seems to me the important thing to do is concentrate on building self-confidence. To the extent a person succeeds at building self-confidence, that person's self-esteem will increase. The path to building self-confidence is paved with Courage.

Footnotes:

1. A situation is a snapshot of an instant in business life…the people, the ‘props’, and the immediate environment.
2. A Good Habit is a thing we think or do that takes us towards our goals.
3. A Bad Habit is a thing we think or do that takes us away from our goals.