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by Rick Baker
On Mar 13, 2017
When alpha dogs collide you see raising of hackles and you hear snarls & barks...then comes the gnashing of teeth and to-and-fro attacks...much noise, much heated action. Then, sooner or later the battle subsides.
Tied to all this -
Of course, as Napoleon Hill made so clear during the last years of his life - Ultimately, Nothing Matters. The day will soon come when the snarls and barks and even the painful yelps subside into memory.
Ultimately, Nothing Matters.
Regardless, 'ultimately' does not apply to the current situation. The current situation is - now...and...now, right this moment, Many Things Matter...especially, if you have in your mind Personal Values and Personal Goals...let alone Personal Rules, codes of conduct, morals, etc. The stronger your convictions in these areas, the more things matter.
If you do not believe me then just ask a couple of alpha dogs. But, take care not to be bitten or at least snapped at during the process.
by Rick Baker
On Mar 7, 2017
Confidence is a personal thing.
There is no reason to design your self-confidence in a way that fits someone else’s viewpoint or rules.
Your self-confidence can and should be as big as you want it to be…including believing you’re better than anyone else. If you choose to think that way, you will be in good company:
- consider how Muhammad Ali felt and thought when he was in his prime1,2
- think about Wayne Gretzky – would any of us have told Gretzky to stop thinking he was the best?
- think about Napoleon who changed the world
Now, some people confuse confidence with cockiness/hubris/conceit…
Perhaps cockiness does correlate with confidence; perhaps, on average, confident people are cockier than people who are not confident?
Regardless: cockiness is not about what you believe; cockiness is about how you behave. You can choose to be confident without choosing to be cocky. And, confidence without cockiness is a magnetic, inspiring combination.
On the one hand -
No question – sometimes highly-confident behaviour can be off-putting to other people.
On the other hand -
No question – thinking you are better than anyone else can result in Olympic gold medals, putting a man on the moon…and numerous examples of business brilliance.
It seems to me…
Champions and serious contenders must believe they are better than anyone else. Otherwise they are doomed to not be champions or contenders for very long. This applies in the big picture [the major political stages, the premier-level sports stages, etc] and it applies on smaller-scale stages [your chess club, your karaoke contests, etc].
People with lesser ambitions should not impress their non-champion or non-contender beliefs on champions or other more-confident competitors.
Footnotes:
- I have special memories of Muhammad Ali. He ignited my life-long interest in the sweet sport. I remember, when I was very young, attending fight night at our local arena...watching Ali on the big screen, listening to my Dad and his buddies root for the other guy [ex. Joe Frasier]...and all the time wondering why I wanted Ali to win...and wondering what funny things Ali would say to the reporters after he won the fight. Sure, Ali was both confident and cocky. For me, his cockiness was a small thing to endure to witness his tremendous personality and humour...and, of course, his champion-level boxing performances.
- In December 1999 Muhammad Ali received some rather special recognition. Here's a couple of examples: he was named Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of The Century and BBC Sports Personality of the Century.
by Rick Baker
On Mar 6, 2017
A couple of years ago I wrote an article titled, We are too tolerant of conflict!
Now, I’d like to re-title that article, “We are too tolerant of bad conflict!”
The 2015 article contained:
Often, we find ourselves in situations of conflict because:
1. we lack self-confidence and, as a result of that, we behave either too timidly or too aggressively and
2. we are too lazy to figure out how to avoid conflict or nip conflict in the bud when we know it has commenced.
We are too tolerant of conflict.
Some people even promote conflict in the workplace because they view it as a good, healthy and productive way to communicate, make decisions, and delegate tasks.
That's interesting in many negative directions!
The results the conflict promoters achieve at their businesses prove it is a high-risk-low-reward strategy.
Recently a number of friends have raised the topic of workplace conflict. It is interesting to note their viewpoints have all been in the zone of promoting conflict in the workplace because they view it as good, healthy and productive. As these conversations swirled, I listened intently. In particular, I listened for examples that would help me understand, specifically, ‘How’ good, healthy, and productive workplace conflict occurred…or, better still, was orchestrated or managed.
Yes – at the conceptual level diversity of thought/opinion is good, healthy and productive. And, we know when the stakes are high and emotions are heating up diversity of thought/opinion can lead to conflict. So, [the good thing] diversity of thought/opinion can lead to workplace conflict. Whether that workplace conflict is good or bad depends on a number of things. As examples:
- Tolerance – in the event one or more of the conflicting parties is intolerant of the other party [in any way, including general prejudices or specific ‘negative’ experiences] it is highly unlikely the conflict will lead to good things.
- Self-confidence – as introduced above, individual’s self-confidence is a critical success factor in situations of workplace conflict...and in life. Self-confidence is not a constant: like Goldilocks’ porridge, sometimes it is too hot, sometimes it is too cold, and sometimes it is just right. When self-confidence is too hot or bloated conflict tends to escalate into unproductive territory. When self-confidence is too cold or injured conflict tends to reach a unilateral resolution and disagreement remains but is hidden, stewing on a back burner.
Tolerance and self-confidence are but two considerations. There are many others. If we want workplace conflict to generate positive, constructive results that take us toward our desired goals then we must do much more than just talk about the value embedded in diversity of thought/opinion and the merits of workplace conflict. We must dig deep to understand the factors that, likely before the beginning of conflict but definitely by the end of the conflict, determine whether conflict time and effort was well or poorly spent. We must understand the Why behind conflict-thought/opinions and know the How of guiding conflict-action before we can pave the path for valuable and productive results. And, there’s no better starting point than self-confidence, beginning with analysis of self.
by Rick Baker
On Feb 21, 2017
Above and beyond everything else, Courage is the mind state that promotes positive mental attitude.
Like every other mind state, with focused and persistent effort, Courage can be developed.
Courage is about facing fears and acting against them. So, Courage is a mind state laced with emotion. It is a mind state where fear is tamed and transformed into something more positive and constructive.
Often, Courage is developed accidentally - for example when someone acts impulsively in reaction to a dangerous or fearful situation.
Deeply rooted Courage can also be developed intentionally with forethought and planned action steps.
People know what causes them to feel fear. People can anticipate most of the situations that cause them fear. As one example, people can anticipate other people’s actions that cause them to experience fear. More specifically, in business, people can anticipate the specific actions their bosses do that trigger feelings of fear.
Most of the situations that cause us to be fearful can be anticipated.
Because we have this ability to anticipate fearful situations we also have the ability to plan ways to counteract those fearful situations before they visit us. In summary, we can role-play fearful situations in our minds long before those fearful situations happen in reality. While we role-play those fearful situations in our mind we can role-play various reactions to those fearful situations and, in effect, we can train ourselves in advance on the best ways to react to fearful situations. Then, later, when fearful situations arise in real life we can face them and take pre-planned actions. And, because we know what we are doing and why we are doing it we can be more objective. We can 'self-analyse' to assess, rate, adjust, and improve our performance in fear-situations. Following this approach we can improve our handling of fear-situations and build Courage until we reach the level of Courage we desire.
The more fearful situations we can anticipate and plan for the more opportunities we will have to test different fear-countering actions… the goal being ‘fear management’...i.e., Courage.
The process described here helps us master our fears, build Courage, and build self-confidence. This is the optimum process for development of Courage because we control the pace and we get first-hand feedback as we succeed in small steps. It is also an excellent way to build self-confidence, that state of mind where we know we have the ability to address and handle situations when we face them.
Courage and self-confidence are the states of mind most conducive to building positive mental attitudes toward other people and situations and, of more importance, toward ourselves.
by Rick Baker
On Feb 16, 2017
Some followers are intimidated by Leader's self-confidence.
Here are some Spirited suggestions, to help you make sure you do not come across that way:
- Be authentic…it is OK to be on the reserved side of centre if that is your character…it is OK to be on the boisterous side if that is your character
- Be committed to working on self-improvement…i.e., raising his or her own self-confidence when that is required, as it will be from time to time
- Focus on strengths: personal strengths and the strengths possessed by others
- As Dale Carnegie taught, be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise".
- Make full and appropriate use of humour…some leaders have just a little of it and will need to remind themselves of the importance of putting it to good use…other leaders have heavy doses of it and they will need to remind themselves to never let it go too far…self-humour is best…humour at the expense of others is an absolute no-no
- Listen…resurrect that art if it has become lost
- Master your emotions…and keep them under control [most of the time]
- Live with Integrity…as defined here
by Rick Baker
On Jan 31, 2017
When it comes to personal values, there are a handful of common Hot Buttons where differing views about personal values cause problems. Examples include: money, failure to deliver on commitments, personal organization and timeliness, attitude, manners, and communication styles.
When we look at businesses that are succeeding and those that are not, we see these different values 'in action', sometimes meshing together and other times grinding against one another. When businesses are succeeding we see alignment, consistency, and harmony in people's personal values and the rules that guide conduct. When businesses are struggling and failing, we see misaligned values, misunderstood values, disharmony, and disconnected approaches to the rules that guide conduct.
When individual's personal values do not align, business challenges always follow. It is only a matter of time. Sometimes, while people are struggling to start up a business or get over a difficult period in business differences in personal values are set aside…as in – setting aside differences in order to focus on a shared goal. On the other hand, when the dust of the problems clears the differences in personal values start to dominate the mindsets and influence the interactions for the worse. This explains why many businesses fall apart or plummet right after achieving plateaus of new success.
Here is another personal-values Hot Button: Sense of Urgency!
Sense of Urgency & the setting of priorities, particularly in entrepreneurial environments...these are things that often set strong reactions into play. Some people, for example Stephen R Covey, strongly embrace the concept of making time for the Important things. Other people embrace a fleet-of-foot-action approach that always favors Urgency over Important…continuously pressing for prompt action.
When we mix these two ways…
When we see the merits of executing work with a sense of Urgency and we take the time to create strategies and plan our most Important work…
...we maximize success, both with people and with profit.
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