Why do you deliver criticism?
How do you deliver criticism?
What criticism do you deliver?
I'm borrowing Simon Sinek's ‘Golden Circle' thinking here.
Criticism, in one shape or another, is a gift brought to us by Mother Nature. Animals guard their turf, their mates and their food and illustrate ‘cease and desist’ criticism when they feel their turf, mates or food [or is it, their possessions] are at risk. When we consider the way criticisms occur between creatures in Nature, it makes sense. It often appears primitive and harsh to us, however, we understand Why it is happening. Misquoting Darwin – in Nature, it’s about survival of the fittest. And, one of the first steps to survival is expressing displeasure when other animals invade your territory or threaten your possessions.
But, does that explain Why humans deliver criticism? Is it that simple? It seems to me that doesn’t go far enough to explain the Why behind people’s criticism of others [let alone criticism of self]. With people, there’s at least one other big factor at play – we call it ‘ego’. Each of us has an image/persona we want others to perceive when they think about us or interact with us. And that ‘ego-drive’ often causes us to express our different viewpoints to others…even when we know there can and likely will be negative repercussions.
To the extent our criticism is rooted in basic needs like the other creatures, we should make sure we have some level of self-control because survival of the fittest never described evolution…rather, evolution is about survival of the most adaptable. Evolution-theory, if it teaches us anything it teaches us we ought to adapt. So, we should at least give a little consideration to adapting the Why that sits at the roots of our need to criticize.
Moving beyond Why, on to How…
How do you deliver criticism? With intent? Unknowingly? Pre-planned? Impromptu? With logic? With emotion? With both? And, what reactions have you observed as you test your different approaches?
Finally, What criticism do you deliver? Do you only criticize actions that violate things that are sacred to you, your personal values, or your master rules? Or, are you indiscriminate? I mean, is criticism a daily free-for-all activity where anything and everything other people say or do or don’t say or don’t do fair game for your incessant nitpicking?