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by Rick Baker
On Jun 16, 2011
I have said and repeated, “There is no such thing as constructive criticism”.
I have said and repeated, “Constructive criticism is an oxymoron”.
While those conclusions came to me through independent thought, I have discovered many hold similar views and some folks even use the same words.
Both of these references describe the same thoughts I have come to accept as reality.
In summary:
- Criticism, regardless of how carefully we try to package it, is poorly received almost each and every time it is delivered
- Almost each and every time we deliver criticism it is destructive
- Often, criticism is well-intended, well-packaged, and well-delivered…yet, it has no chance of being received as constructive [the door is closed and locked tight before it arrives]
- And…people will always have differing views and there will often be a need to share those views…particularly, if we wish to create change…and, in business, we often do want to create change…hence, a major question: How do we create change without being received as deliverers of destructive messages?
That last bullet point gets to the root of business…people, interpersonal relationships, and change.
***
Napoleon Hill taught the value of faith.
He made it clear he meant 'faith' in the broadest sense, not just religious faith. And, he expressed his view, 'doubters do not build'. Hill's research showed every major business development and contribution had been founded on faith.
And, Hill established, ‘those who doubt do not build’.
***
You have ideas.
You want to build business things.
You have visions of what could be....what could be created...what could be built.
Do you have the right amount of faith to achieve 'what could be built'?
I say 'the right amount of faith' because I want to highlight a balanced approach to building business. I am not comfortable with blind faith. Few things lend themselves to blind faith. Blind faith fails too often. Few things in business lend themselves to blind faith. So, in business, blind faith is a problem in the making. Blind faith is whimsical wishing. And, wishing and hoping don’t get it done!
So, faith in business needs some boundaries.
How will those business boundaries set?
Will they set by you alone?
Will they set by you, working with others?
I think you will set your business boundaries both ways.
Sometimes, you, alone, will set the boundaries. You will use your personal values to guide you and you will use your good judgment.
Other times, you will work with other people to set business boundaries.
And, that’s where criticism arrives.
Why?
Because…
- Doing things right is subjective…you have views and other people have views…often the views differ
- Doing the right things is subjective…you have views and other people have views…often the views differ
- Predicting or forecasting the future…you have views and other people have views…often the views differ…and none of us have a crystal ball…and some of us fail to recognize that last point
Obviously, we are discussing a fundamental issue here. We are discussing a fundamental people-issue with broad business application.
I think constructive criticism is an oxymoron.
I think most people disagree with that point.
Most people believe in or blindly accept the constructive capability of criticism.
And that causes more problems than are required.
by Rick Baker
On Jun 1, 2011
That’s not a complaint.
It is simply a fact.
I know this because I cannot stop myself from observing people, listening to them, and watching how they react to other people’s ideas and requests.
Now, like most ‘blog sites’, our Thought Post site provides readers the opportunity to rate our Thought Posts. Our site has little stars at the bottom of each posting…readers can select and enter 1 star, 2 stars, 3 stars, 4 stars, or 5 stars.
Generally readers do not rate our Thought Posts. That’s typical of blog sites, unless maybe the person who does the writing is really, really gifted. [I aspire to that…and…clearly I have some work to do…but…I digress.] It seems a posting must really annoy or really resonate before people take the time to rate it.
It is interesting to note, the Thought Post about getting rid of Scarcity Mindset received 2 ratings: one was 1 star and one was 5 stars…so, the average is 3 stars. Now, I assume the person who rated it 5 stars liked the posting and agrees with its message.
But – what about the person who gave the 1 star rating?
- Perhaps, this person agrees we should work to get rid of Scarcity Mindsets but thinks I did a poor job of delivering that message?
- Perhaps, this person disagrees with the message and thinks we should not get rid of Scarcity Mindsets?
- Perhaps, this person thinks something else?
We will never know…unless the person provides comments to clarify.
I do know scarcity mindsets permeate many business environments. So, I will keep writing in an effort to help folks understand the problem so they have a chance to fix it before it causes too much damage.
During the last 2 weeks, people have talked to me about 3 separate instances of scarcity mindset in the workplace. When people describe their situations they usually do not use the words ‘scarcity mindset’…people usually talk about the results they see/hear, not the underlying cause.
Perhaps I need to write more clearly…
Scarcity Mindset is an underlying cause…a fear-driven, underlying cause
Scarcity Mindset leads to many poor decisions, inappropriate actions, and workplace stresses
by Rick Baker
On May 31, 2011
As many of you know, we buy and give away many copies of the book STRENGTHSFINDER 2.0.
We do that because we believe the Gallup organization has come up with a terrific solution to a problem that has troubled and stalled many people for many years.
The Problem: focusing on people’s weaknesses.
Our exposure to ‘focus on weakness’ may have started in our family home when we were infants or toddlers. Or, our exposure to ‘focus on weakness’ may have started when we met our first teachers. Or, it may have started at the hands of neighbourhood bullies. Or, it may have started when we joined the workforce and received our first performance appraisal. The point is it happened. If we happened to be among the fortunate few who received a balance of positive/supportive feedback to offset the ‘focus on weakness’ then…we are among the fortunate few. Most people have received much more negative feedback than positive feedback. Most people have become accustomed to focusing on weaknesses…their weaknesses, other people’s weaknesses, employees’ weaknesses, etc.
And, that’s the Problem.
The Solution [at least one big piece of the Solution]: focusing on people’s STRENGTHS.
How do we focus on Strengths?
Well, according to all the Gallup research, the key is understanding the innate talents that drive and set boundaries on people’s personalities and people’s behaviour. Each person has a unique set of talents. Each person has the ability to use his/her unique talents to generate great performance of certain actions…not all actions, just some actions.
Marcus Buckingham’s definitions:
Talent: any recurring pattern of thought, feeling or behavior that can be productively applied
Strength: consistent near-perfect performance of an activity...with passion
When we know our talents – I mean when we really know the details of our talents – we have the ability to understand our Strengths and our weaknesses. And, we have the ability to spend as much time and effort developing Strengths aligned with our talents rather than mending weaknesses not aligned with our talents. And – working on areas of Strength delivers more bang for the buck.
When we focus on Strengths we focus on the positives.
When we focus on the positives…people like it…and people tend to embrace positive change.
Footnotes:
by Rick Baker
On Apr 21, 2011
Most normal people hear little voices.
Their little voices talk to them constantly.
Most people ‘hear’ that little voice in their heads.
For most people, the little voice sounds like their own voice.
For other folks, the voice may come from just in front of their face, in front of the place where the top of their nose connects with the spot between their eyes. Apparently, for some folks [and this is rare] the voice comes from another place…like in front of their chest or in front of the pit of their stomach.
Regardless, a natural part of the human condition is having that little voice. Some, perhaps most people, consider the little voice to be their guide – the voice of their conscience.
Most people – most normal human beings – hear their little voices chatter negatively throughout the day…their little voices are saying negative this and saying negative that…over and over and over….all day…every day. Their little voices feed them a continuous string of negative thoughts.
Dr. Daniel Amen calls negative thoughts ANTS
ANTs = Automatic Negative Thoughts1
For example, Dr. Amen describes 2 of these ANTs as:
- ANT 4 [red ant]. When the little voice delivers this ANT it tries to make us believe we know what other people are thinking even when they have told us what they are thinking Mind Reading ANT
- ANT 7 – the Labeling ANT. When the little voice delivers this ANT it tries to make us place labels on ourselves and other people
These ANTs contribute to our biases.
Bias2 = a: bent, tendency b: an inclination of temperament or outlook; especially: a personal and sometimes unreasoned judgment: prejudice c: an instance of such prejudice
In a prior Thought Post3 I wrote:
People are biased and make a fundamental attribution error
In summary, when the bias is at work we judge like this:
- When other people do poorly we blame their behaviour [ie, we blame them]. However, when other people do well we give credit to the situation.
- We do the exact opposite when it comes to judging ourselves.
I believe Tony Robbins4 recognized these sorts of biases. He recognized many people get upset when things do not go their way. He recognized even he, a well-experienced motivational educator who knew better, got upset from time to time in response to other people’s actions. He decided to create a tool to help himself and other people get over this negative thinking….get to a much better way of thinking and get to a much better way of communicating.
Tony Robbins called his tool the ‘Reality Check tool’. He describes that tool in his audio CD ‘Live With Passion’.
The tool contains a list of 7 questions we can ask ourselves when we feel upset with/about another person. The tool contains value: I recommend the audio CD.
Wrapping up…
That’s how Little Voices, ANTs, Biases, & Robbins fit together.
The great news is we can ‘CHANGE FOR THE BETTER’.
Here’s a link to introduce more thoughts on this topic…
PS: that link takes you to my 1st effort at creating an educational video….one take…with my son Jack doing the production, direction, and camera work. That experience is a fond memory.
Footnotes:
by Rick Baker
On Apr 19, 2011
While listening to audio book 'The Now Habit At Work’, it occurred to me the words time management may be stalling people.
I mean, most people can not manage time nor would they even try to manage time. Time is a concept. Time is a concept most people either take for granted or don’t think about. Time is a concept most people don’t want to dwell on let alone manage.
When we use the words 'time management' we are not speaking accurately.
And, we may be stalling people, which, of course, is the exact opposite of our goal.
I am not saying people may be consciously aware we are stalling them.
I am saying, when other people experience us using that word combination – time management – maybe we are setting off a subconscious reaction that causes them to stall.
Regardless, I think that word combination is just plain wrong. Few human beings have the ability to manage time. Maybe some monks or yogis probably can manage time? Perhaps Albert Einstein could manage time? [He knew a lot more about time than most of us.] We hear stories about people who face extreme danger and, somehow, their subconscious mind slows time for them. Or, at least, they manage to cram a huge amount of indelible perception into a small amount of time. Maybe those are some examples of time management? There are other examples like that...if they are examples of time management then time management is rare.
So, for most people the words 'time management' set a confusing ‘bar’. Maybe that bar is set too high or maybe that bar doesn’t make sense at all. I think it is the latter.
So, we need to use other words when we want people to ‘manage their time’.
We could use self-management but that is not ideal because that’s a broad topic that goes beyond the ‘management of time’.
From now on, I intend to use the words ‘action management’. That’s what we want to do and that’s what we want other people to do. We want to manage our actions.
It mentions 'strategic cramming', i.e., leaving some things to the last minute. I like that strategy because it is a way to Procrastinate For Success. I believe you can build 'action strength' by using methods like strategic cramming. You can - and at least some of the time you should - intentionally refrain from doing tasks until the very last minute. Then, when you [finally] do the task you should concentrate, focus, and expedite your action. Build this strength. It is a valuable strength.
Teach yourself you can do it – teach yourself you can handle last-minute crunches.
This is a sample of Procrastinate For Success. Methods like strategic cramming help you gain skill (concentration) and it help you gain something more important - confidence. When we Procrastinate For Success that skill and the benefits it provides snowball...the more you do it the better you get at it. Maybe your skill will become so great you will want to leave everything to the last minute?
by Rick Baker
On Mar 31, 2011
People do better when they align their work with their talents and strengths than they do when their work collides with their weaknesses.
So - how does being lazy fit in?
Similar thinking is feeding this article.
Procrastination may be a consequence of laziness, or maybe it’s vice-versa.
Certainly, procrastination and laziness are causes of the same effect: when we procrastinate stuff doesn’t get done and when we are lazy stuff doesn't get done. At least, it doesn’t get done ‘right now’.
It seems to me a good question to ask is, "Why isn't stuff getting done?"....
"Why am I procrastinating?"
"Why am I being lazy?"
Specifically, "Am I procrastinating or being lazy because this work/activity does not align with my talents and strengths?"
If the answer to that question is "Yes, I'm not doing this work/activity because it not aligned with my talent or strengths and I know it will frustrate me" then - that's not all bad.
Sure, other people may tend to judge you harshly. The work may align with their strengths and they may have no idea why you make such a fuss...or…do nothing.
If the work aligns with their strengths then for that exact reason they may not even be able to understand why you are avoiding it.
That's their bias at work.
Their bias may be causing them to see you as lazy when you are actually just procrastinating for success.
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