Confidence is a personal thing.

There is no reason to design your self-confidence in a way that fits someone else’s viewpoint or rules.

Your self-confidence can and should be as big as you want it to be…including believing you’re better than anyone else. If you choose to think that way, you will be in good company:

• consider how Muhammad Ali felt and thought when he was in his prime^1,2
• think about Wayne Gretzky – would any of us have told Gretzky to stop thinking he was the best?
• think about Napoleon who changed the world

Now, some people confuse confidence with cockiness/hubris/conceit…

Perhaps cockiness does correlate with confidence; perhaps, on average, confident people are cockier than people who are not confident?

Regardless: cockiness is not about what you believe; cockiness is about how you behave. You can choose to be confident without choosing to be cocky. And, confidence without cockiness is a magnetic, inspiring combination.

On the one hand -

No question – sometimes highly-confident behaviour can be off-putting to other people.

On the other hand -

No question – thinking you are better than anyone else can result in Olympic gold medals, putting a man on the moon…and numerous examples of business brilliance.

It seems to me…

Champions and serious contenders must believe they are better than anyone else. Otherwise they are doomed to not be champions or contenders for very long. This applies in the big picture [the major political stages, the premier-level sports stages, etc] and it applies on smaller-scale stages [your chess club, your karaoke contests, etc].

People with lesser ambitions should not impress their non-champion or non-contender beliefs on champions or other more-confident competitors. 

Footnotes:

1. I have special memories of Muhammad Ali. He ignited my life-long interest in the sweet sport. I remember, when I was very young, attending fight night at our local arena...watching Ali on the big screen, listening to my Dad and his buddies root for the other guy [ex. Joe Frasier]...and all the time wondering why I wanted Ali to win...and wondering what funny things Ali would say to the reporters after he won the fight. Sure, Ali was both confident and cocky. For me, his cockiness was a small thing to endure to witness his tremendous personality and humour...and, of course, his champion-level boxing performances.
2. In December 1999 Muhammad Ali received some rather special recognition. Here's a couple of examples: he was named Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of The Century and BBC Sports Personality of the Century. 

Subtitle: Death by hyperbolic hyperbolas of hyperbole

When I was a child, the adults in our neighbourhood had a habit of stopping me and asking me to answer math questions. As one example, they would hold out a hand, open it to show a bunch of coins, and ask me how much money was in the hand. I would provide the answers. Then, they would smile at me, congratulate me, tousle my hair, put their money into their pockets and walk away. When I was about 6 years old, after it was crystal clear none of them were ever going to give me any of their money, I concluded none of the adults in our subdivision knew how to count their money. I brought that to my parents' attention. My parents told me the neighbourhood adults did understand basic math and went on to explain I possessed a bit more math skills than the other kids in our neighbourhood and the adults got some sort of kick out of it. With that new perspective, an idea hit me. I asked my parents if they would show me their coins, which they did. I added up my parents' coins, gave them the accurate totals and, much to my surprise, they too smiled, congratulated me, tousled my hair, put their coins back into their pockets and walked away. That was my early exposure to zero-sum gaming. And, perhaps, in some puzzling way, that story of my early math experiences has something to do with the point of the little tirade to follow.

Regardless...

Later in life I found myself answering math questions during university level exams. I wrote dozens of those exams. So I now understand, somehow, at an early age I developed a habit of knowing how to answer math questions. Math habits have persisted. 

And, my modest but persistent knowledge of math has produced a few side-effects.

One side-effect is, when people make claims like they are doing things beyond 100% it catches my attention and my thoughts. I have thoughts like, "Don't these people know when you've got 100% you've got it all & when you've given 100% you've given it all?" 

Giving 100% is superlative-enough territory...I mean...that's all the way...that's the limit of your giving.

Giving more than 100% - well, that's defying the laws of at least mathematics...probably, the laws of physics...and possibly even the Laws of Nature.

How can you trust a person who makes claims like, "Boss - I'm giving 110%!"?

Some people go even farther. You often hear people talking about their 150% performances and you hear a small but noticeable group of people, apparently of boundless ability, making performance claims at preposterous levels such as 1000%.

Don't ya think these people are going overboard?...I mean, being excessive?...being exorbitant?...really going overboard?...over-killing things...and beating them to death too?...I mean, really, really, really going overboard...with those hyperbolic hyperbolas of hyperbole?

Just the other day, I met with Pinocchio. I listened to him. I couldn't help but pay attention to his body language...so packed with enthusiasm and emotion. And, yes, I saw his nose growing. At first it was almost imperceptible. Then, as I focused my attention, the growth was clearly visible. I must warn you. At first, you gotta watch closely to see that nose growing. At first, it doesn't happen the way it was portrayed in that classic animated movie. Pinocchio's nose growth is far more subtle and nowhere near as comical.

Really, it's a troubling thing to witness firsthand.

Once Pinocchio's nose starts to grow there's no stopping it. You cannot butt in to stop it. And, while it's happening it's virtually impossible to avoid eye-nose contact. No matter how grotesque you may find it, you cannot take your eyes off it. And, displaying interest in it is the worst thing you can do. That simply fuels the fire and feeds the beast…I mean, your interest is guaranteed to inflate that proboscis.

With time the trauma of that growing schnozzola will subside…I’m talking about the trauma you experienced not the trauma Pinocchio goes through as outrageous nose growth contorts his little face.

I understand Pinocchio’s nose returns to normal after his voice is silent for a while. I cannot confirm that. I'm not sure if the nose subsided after I left because I've not been able to bring myself to visit with Pinocchio since the incident.