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Name of author Rick Baker, P.Eng.

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Thought Tweet #865

by Rick Baker
On Nov 8, 2013

Thought Tweet #865 Listen to what people say...are their words the words of Victims or Initiators?

 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

We do better with people when we understand them...as Stephen Covey taught - 'Seek First to Understand'.

We all go through ups and downs and the ups and downs can skew our day-to-day personalities. So, yes - it is rash to judge personality too quickly.

Setting day-to-day variances aside, we all have predominant tendencies. While we do not want to pretend we are armchair psychologists, our success in this world of other people increases when we observe people and develop an ability to understand them.

And, people do have predominant tendencies. One of those tendencies has been captured by psychologists and labelled locus of control. Some of us 'have' an internal locus of control while some of us 'have' an external locus of control. People who 'have' the internal locus of control believe they can affect change and outcomes. They tend to be Initiators. People who 'have' the external locus of control believe they have little ability to influence change or outcomes. They are fatalists or Victims. 

Victims tend to complain about their lot in life. Victims tend to blame others. Victims tend to blame situations. Victims are pessimistic. Victims make excuses. [Feelings of envy and jealousy hang around the shadows of Victims.]

Initiators are the opposite.

[Give Victims comfort. Give Initiators latitude.]

Thought Tweet #856

by Rick Baker
On Oct 28, 2013

Thought Tweet #856 Sycophants & lickspittles: friends in need serving egos in need.

 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

A couple of funny English words for funny roles.

Tags:

Humour | Personalities @ Work | Thought Tweets

Some people simply do not get along...

by Rick Baker
On Oct 24, 2013

Some people simply do not get along.

And, they never will.

So - they will never work together in harmony.

When you experience incivility at work or other forms of 'people not getting along', it is important to determine whether or not the situation you are facing is one where the people are never going to work together in harmony. This is important because if, in reality, people are battling and have made their minds up to never get along then there is no value in trying to influence them to change. You will never cause them to get along. The best you can do is cause them to behave in less-destructive ways. 

In fact, to generate constructive change you only have two options:

  1. One of the people must leave or
  2. One or both of the people must accept, truly accept, subordination to your demands and the fact he/she/they will have no control over the situation or the other person.
Beware: it is rare for people to be comfortable and truly accept a situation they cannot control. It is also rare for people to exercise full control over themselves when they know they will never be able to work in harmony with and are conflicted with another person. Human nature - actually, the human ego - places strong demands around locus of control and sphere of influence. People are uncomfortable when they are in conflict with others and doubly uncomfortable when they know they have no or little ability to change that situation.
 
Yes, I know, people can change. So, there is always a possibility the two conflicting people may get along some day. However, when people are really dug in against one another that's a sucker's bet. That's a very-low-probability-of-winning bet.
 
So, working to cause two die-hard people in conflict to change their attitudes toward one another is the wrong approach.
 
Instead, when you think two people will never be able to work together in harmony:
  1. Communicate your perspective of that situation to both of them...might as well sit the two of them down and talk to both at the same time...that will let them know you are not playing favourites and it will ensure both hear/witness the same message
  2. Obtain their agreement that your perspective is accurate...if one or both argue against your perspective then that could be a sign there could be hope for improvement...or it could be a really bad sign [you will have to use your judgement]
  3. Present the two options described above, telling both people you will use their input then make your decision [i.e., you will make a Consultative Decision after each of them has had an opportunity to provide their perspectives]
  4. Ask for their preferences...repeat the request at least twice so they understand you are serious
  5. Part company...if either person requests more discussion then make it clear that will only happen if the other person is present...you want full communication
  6. Make your decision, i.e., either (1) one goes or (2) both stay and agree to work within the boundaries you set
  7. Communicate your decision to both...whether one person remains or both people remain, explain your boundaries in writing so that person [those people] know exactly your expectations and how you will address future situations of this nature
  8. Monitor their actions and enforce your boundaries
This approach has several benefits. As examples - 
  1. You cannot ignore situations where people are never going to work in harmony...sooner or later these situations get worse and cost much time and money
  2. Situations where people are never going to work in harmony affect everyone and mess up your business culture...people expect leaders to address and resolve these sorts of situations...the best employees leave when they see these situations linger and fester
  3. In the event your perception is wrong - in the event the situation is not really a never going to work in harmony situation - the two people may see the light, get their egos under control, and clean up their acts...in which case the problem will be solved in a win-win-win way and everyone can walk away feeling good about themselves and the other people
  4. The process you develop can be used to nip these situations in the bud if they arise in the future
 
 
 

Desires

by Rick Baker
On Oct 22, 2013

I have noticed in people 4 dominant desires. These desires apply to people in business and to people in general:

  1. The desire to vent one’s strength.
  2. The desire to feel important.
  3. The desire to control.
  4. The desire to create things of value.

 

The Desire to Vent One’s Strength

At the philosophical level - Nietzsche considered this to be the #1 human desire, greater than the drive to procreate.

At the day-to-day business level – People who are enthusiastic about their work are working at things that align with their personal talents & strengths; people who are worn down by their work are working at things that do not align with their talents & strengths. Both consciously and subconsciously, people know when their actions are not aligned with their strengths…it tends to bother them and it tends to eat away at their spirit. Their ambition shrinks. Their performance dulls. Their minds wander and their energies shrink.

 

The Desire to Feel Important

At the philosophical level – Dale Carnegie, the self-help pioneer, viewed this as the leading desire. In his lessons and his classic ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ he taught how to influence people by (1) appealing to this basic human desire and (2) not conflicting with this basic human desire…in summary: be hearty in approbation, be lavish with praise, and do not criticize.

At the day-to-day business level – “Constructive Criticism is an Oxymoron”. Criticism can cause behavioural changes; however, those changes are achieved at a cost. “Criticism finds few friends”. Criticism finds people who already recognize their errors. Some of these people have already given themselves a dose of self-criticism…so they don’t benefit and may hold a grudge against the extra dose of outside criticism. Others do not care about their errors and are predisposed to resist external criticism. Criticism finds people who do not recognize they have made an error. There are kinder ways than the use of criticism to educate them about their shortfalls.

 

The Desire to Control

At the psychological level – much has been written about locus of control. Some people believe they have within them an internal ability to control their lives while other people believe their lives are controlled by external factors.

At the day-to-day business level – People with an internal locus of control can be driven and extremely self-motivated. Or they can be more passive. They can appear strong-willed and opinionated…even maverick or renegade. Some react very poorly to authority and rules. They are self-energized. For some reason these people have withstood the criticisms of others and their spirits have survived. People with an external locus of control may be content or they may be discontented...living the life of a victim. Some will be comfortable with authority and rules; some will be subversive. Few, if any, successful business leaders have an external locus of control. Unhappy followers may be displaying the impact of throttled internal locus of control or external locus of control discontent.

 

The Desire to Create Things of Value

I think people are born with natural desire and drive to innovate and create. Psychological studies confirm this and the fact that over time most people become less creative and less willing to try new things.

That’s why entrepreneurs stand out in business. Entrepreneurs have an internal drive to create things of value and that drive survives the beatings placed on it by other people, the bureaucracies, the cruelty of the markets, etc. This desire to create things of value is not isolated to business. We see it in art, we see it in music, and we see it in philanthropy and charitable endeavours.

 

PS: People's actions provide clues to their desires. However, we cannot jump to conclusions. For example, a resistance to authority or a resistance to change will signal certain possibilities. More work is required to uncover which one of the possibilities is most-accurate. People's words provide clues to people's desires...but, watch what they do at least as much as you listen to what they say.

Tags:

Leaders' Thoughts | Personalities @ Work

Thought Tweet #836

by Rick Baker
On Sep 30, 2013

Thought Tweet #836 Trust: it's a dynamic thing that flows 2 ways; you extend it in order to receive it; it's about Action.

 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Quality character is a gift.

A pleasing personality is a powerful gift.

But...

Actions easily trump both.

Ensure your Actions score winning points.

Tags:

Influencing | Personalities @ Work | Thought Tweets

Thought Tweet #823.5

by Rick Baker
On Sep 11, 2013

Thought Tweet #823.5 Personality gives you a chance. What you do with it is what really counts.

 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Your personality may take a back seat to what you do...especially when the going gets tough.

We judge others by what they do.

We trust others by what they do. 

Others do the same to us.

Tags:

Personalities @ Work | Thought Tweets

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