People have two types of feelings: good feelings and bad feelings.

 

When you feel good your emotions are letting you know your actions and the situation at hand are in synch with your personal values and your goals. When you feel bad your emotions are letting you know your actions and the situation at hand are not in synch with your personal values and your goals.

 

In certain situations, as you walk down certain paths, your logical side will work hard to explain away or resist the feelings generated by your emotions. Your logical side will tell you there is nothing to fear, yet you will continue to feel fear.

 

Link to ‘the Haidt metaphor’: Riders on Elephants on Paths.

 

Using the Haidt metaphor, the Rider will tell the Elephant it’s just a little, tiny mouse. It cannot harm a huge Elephant like you. Yet, Elephants fear mice…let’s assume that’s fact. You know what will happen. The Elephant will panic and bolt.

 

Fear: that’s an extreme bad feeling.

 

Hopefully, it rarely shows up in your workplace.

 

Let’s use the Haidt metaphor to look at a less-extreme example. Say, it’s a real simple thing. You want a person to do a task for you. You make it a simple task…the task is walking down a path. And, you politely say to the person, “Would you please help me by walking down the path.” The person does nothing.

 

No matter what the Rider did, the Elephant just kept eating grass.

 

Why did the Elephant keep doing that?

 

Answer: the Elephant felt good…Elephants place a lot of personal value on eating grass…it helps them sustain life, an important goal for Elephants.

 

Getting back to the task you tried to assign, but failed…

• You asked a person to walk down a path
• The person did not walk down a path

Now what are you going to do?

 

2 pieces of advice:

 

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudice, and motivated by pride and vanity.”
Dale Carnegie

 

“Take the trouble to stop and think of the other person's feelings, his viewpoints, his desires, and needs. Think more of what the other fellow wants, and how he must feel.”
Maxwell Maltz