by Rick Baker
On Sep 13, 2011
Here are some of the nuances of our thinking:
- Everybody lies, at least in certain situations and about certain topics - everybody lies!
- There are levels of lying...like little white lies, lies made in an effort to ease other's pain, manipulative lies, lies for the sake of secrecy or deception, and pathological lies.
- "Honey, does this new red dress make me look slimmer?" The person who answers that question may lie while intending to be kind and aiming for win-win. That sort of lie is a low-level lie. And that sort of lie may represent the best course of action in the given situation. The intent behind the lie is 'admirable'.
- Integrity, as we define it, allows for lies. Recall the last part of the definition: “When you make errors as you talk-walk-run you admit them and you strive to not repeat them”.
- But, our definition of Integrity does not allow for repeated lies where the intent behind the lie isn't 'admirable'...Integrity cannot exist where the intent behind repeated lies is deception or manipulation...i.e., win-lose. Our definition of Integrity allows for some of those win-lose lies. After all, as the saying goes, we are only human. Each of us makes mistakes. People say things and wish later that they could retract their words. An acknowledgement of their error when coupled with a true commitment to do better passes our ‘Integrity’ test.
And, our key point on the two closely-intertwined topics, Lies & Integrity: the onus is on the leader to set the standard.
The leader sets the standard by:
- Defining Integrity
- Incorporating Integrity into leading by example
- Having thick skin…it isn’t about you, it’s about them
- Having a thin skull…being open minded, observing others, taking care to minimize judging of others while maximizing understanding of others