Do as I say, not as I do...
Why?
...Obviously, I've got that last part covered.
That phrase - do as I say, not as I do - is the recipient of a bad rap.
When people hear it they think things like:
- That person is a hypocrite!
- That person is giving bad advice!
- If that person cannot follow his or her own advice then why should I!
- If that person cannot follow his or her own advice then, definitely, I will not be able to follow it!
All of that is wrong-thinking. Beware the
Attribution Bias. Beware the excuse-taking.
Slip-ups are a fact of life. Everyone fails to do what they say...from time to time, sooner or later.
That alone is not a violation of Integrity. It is simply a fact of human life.
Integrity, as Spirited Leaders define it, has this nuance: nobody is perfect!
So, do not force wisdom to meet a perfection test.
Despite best intentions:
- everyone slips up from time to time,
- everyone struggles to exercise power of will...sooner or later,
- everyone is prone to be weak in certain situations,
- everyone has a limited amount of energy, &
- everyone weakens, sooner or later, when challenging situations stack up against them.
So, even the wisest people with the highest Integrity will slip up from time to time.
Even as they slip up, their wisdom may be sound.
Even as they slip up, their character may be sound.
Even as they slip up, their Integrity may be sound.
The question is: How do they react when they slip up? If they acknowledge their error, that’s a good sign. If they express regret, that’s a good sign. If they indicate a desire to do better in the future, that’s a good sign. With those good signs, trust can be rebuilt over time. Trust can be rebuilt when you believe the person’s Integrity aligns with your Integrity. And, as that is happening, make sure you cut some slack...Beware the Attribution Bias.