Fear can freeze us on the spot, rendering us helpless, humbled, and humiliated.
Fear can gnaw away at us for long periods of time, slowly but surely, bite after bite, consuming our energy and killing our will to press on or fight.
Fear can overwhelm our self-control, allowing our emotions to spill out in embarrassing ways.
Fear can cloud our judgment, making us think like victims and see others as oppressors.
Sometimes when fears engulf us we cannot get the picture of most-dire outcomes out of our minds. Other times we see only unknowns. Regardless, when fear has its hold on us outcomes seem to be beyond our control.
Despite all these challenges - despite all the negatives fears bring to our lives - we possess fears. We possess fears. And sometimes fears possess us.
Why?
Why do we possess fears?
It seems fears have a home somewhere in our DNA. Much argument has been made in support of the survival-value of emotions and the fears that follow emotions. Without fear of sabre-tooth cats and other predators our ancestors would have been short-lived and we would not be here. Without the fear of fire we would all have many more burn scars. Yes, some fears serve a useful purpose. There are good and positive reasons why we possess the ability to fear.
But - why do fears possess us?
And - can we do anything to change that?
Why do fears possess us? Because its roots are linked with survival, fear is a naturally powerful mindset. When the mindset of fear is repeated it has strong habit-forming potential. A few bee stings generate a life-long wariness. If the bee-wary person has the ability to avoid bees then the habit of bee-wariness is a good one. If, for some reason, the person believes he or she lacks the ability to avoid bees then the bee-wariness habit can become a bad habit...a neurosis...a phobia...or even a psychosis. Then, the fear of bees possesses the person and this can cause much distress.
When a fear possesses - what can be done? Can the person remove the bad-habit fear?
Yes - for most people, most bad-habit fears can be reduced and removed. The key is to understand fears are natural. They started with survival roots and they were so well fed they grew beyond good habits into bad habits. Regardless of how they grew, the best way to remove bad-habit fears is step-by-step correction.
For example, if a person fears bees then the person could overcome the fear by taking steps like these:
- See a picture of a bee
- Then get comfortable enough to hold the picture
- Then see a live bee from a safe distance, say from an adjoining room through a window
- Then watch another person sit in the room with the bee
- Then put on a beekeeper's outfit
- Then enter the room with the bee
- Then take off part of the beekeeper's outfit, say one glove
- Then remove the entire outfit and sit in the room with the bee
- Then get comfortable allowing the bee to buzz around
- Then let the bee land on one of your arms
- Then add more bees to the room
- Etc.
Remarkable, permanent results have been achieved using step-by-step escalated exposures to remedy fears.
There are many other methods for easing and removing fears after we stop possessing them because they possess us.
The starting point is to identify the fear and commit to removing the bad habit it has become. The key is to take small steps that contain enough control over the situation so a sufficient level of comfort is maintained as positive change progresses.