From time to time, people say to you things like, “I didn't know” or “I didn't know how”. This happens, for example, when people fail to perform up to your expectations and you talk to them after-the-fact. When this sort of situation arises you have options…you have choices.

You can choose to argue with the person about what you believe they do know, about what you believe they ought to know, or about your opinion that they really do know how to do this or that. Or, rather than arguing or debating, you can choose to focus all of your efforts toward solving the problem.

Knowing you'll face this situation many times in the future, you can plan for it and design ways to focus on creating solutions.

That last sentence contains the word "design" because you have the opportunity to plan in advance exactly how you intend to address the situation. You can design he approach you will take.

Rather than attempt to argue with the person, which will simply escalate the problem, you can choose to approach these situations with a solution orientation.

Often, good questions provide the best routes to solutions. With this in mind, when people say to you things like “I didn't know” or “I didn't know how”, ask questions aimed at understanding why they are saying what they are saying.