For example, consider Civility...

Civility is defined as polite and respectable behaviour. It is part of good manners. Good manners means things like respect, civility, and harmony. Whereas, bad manners means the opposite: disrespect, incivility, and conflict. Good manners are linked to courteous behavior, which is marked by visible consideration of others. 

Some people 'spot': they return kindness with kindness; if you are respectful of them, they return the favour.

Some people 'lift': they display natural civility and courteousness, both learned traits [either taught by parents or others in early childhood or learned through self-education].

Some people 'just keep adding weights': they appear to derive satisfaction out of criticizing, humbling, and otherwise causing grief for other people. Evidently, they do not understand this approach removes the ability for long-term success. Sure, it can yield short-term results. Regardless, over time, no strong person will tolerate people who 'just keep adding weights' to their lives. And, people who are not strong will struggle more as weights are added and ultimately be crushed, in spirit if not physically. And, people who are not strong are by nature not very helpful on the road to long-term success.

The road to long-term success contains a nearly-endless series of challenges. People who 'spot' and people who 'lift' do a better job of handling those challenges. People who are civil and courteous do a better job of handling those challenges.