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Name of author Rick Baker, P.Eng.

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Feel good, look good, be good

by Rick Baker
On Dec 9, 2010
We have defined Integrity.
Definition of Integrity
  1. When you know your Personal Values and
  2. When you can express your Personal Values in writing [showing how you think the think] and
  3. When you can and do talk with others about your Personal Values [talk the talk] and
  4. When your actions are consistent with your Personal Values [walk the walk] and
  5. When you acknowledge your think-talk-walk errors and strive to not repeat them
            …then you have Integrity
That definition of Integrity is ‘personal’: each person is the judge of his/her own Integrity. When we created the definition we intentionally avoided including judgmental things such as ‘honesty’, ‘probity’, etc. Our definition of Integrity is about do the pieces hold together rather than what is [morally] right or wrong.
Normal people know right from wrong.
Yes – there is a range. At the centre there is common ground.
Regardless, normal people know when they are doing right and they know when they are doing wrong.
Dr. David J. Lieberman states our mind consists of 3 parts:
  • The Body…this part of the mind causes us to do what feels good
  • The Ego…this part of the mind causes us to do what looks good
  • The Soul…this part of the mind causes us to do what is good
That simple summary captures normal people know right from wrong.
That does not mean we always do what we know is right. As an example: sometimes self-esteem is low and ego takes over, causing us to do what makes us look good rather than what we know is right. Other times our desire for short-term pleasure trumps the right thing to do.

When we do wrong – when people of high Integrity do wrong – we find ourselves at Point 5 of the Integrity definition.
So - people possessing high Integrity do not need us to act as their judge: they are self-regulating.

How to deal with people when their egos seem to be out of control

by Rick Baker
On Dec 1, 2010
First, spend the time to understand your own ego.
And, as you do that recognize you will tend to see yourself as less egotistic and possessing higher self-esteem than other people. At least, that’s the way most people view themselves, as compared with others.
Next, work to limit your judging of other people.
When you observe what you believe to be excess ego…you may be judging too harshly? Your judgement may be inaccurate? You may be unskilled at judging accurately?
Or, your judgement may be accurate.
Assuming your judgement is accurate – assuming the other person is showing an excess of ego – recognize you are seeing the other person’s reaction to fear. You probably will not be able to guess the fear. And the person with the big ego may not understand the fear that is causing excessive ego.
Recognize – your logic will not remove another person’s ego problem.  Ego is not about logic. Ego is about emotion. And the underlying driver is fear.
Next, analyse the situation.
Situations have a major influence on people’s feelings and actions. The situation includes something that is triggering fear in the high-ego person. To the extent you can alter the situation you may be able to reduce/remove the thing that is triggering the fear.
However; the situational thing that is triggering the person’s fear could be very broad/general. For example, most people show signs of changed behaviour when they are under stress. And, the stressful thing could be as broad as ‘having to go to work...and be around people’.
Does the person have a large ego in all situations?
If so then do what you can to avoid the person…you will not change the person.
If the person only shows ‘large ego’ in certain situations then do what you can to avoid those situations or remove them. If, for example, you are the boss then you can influence the situation. You can influence when, where, and how interactions happen with the person.
Neither feed nor assault the other person’s ego. Be matter-of-fact, not emotional. Make sure your actions align with your personal values…not the other person’s.
Do not criticize or work to outmuscle the other person because that could push things into ‘bully territory’.
Diffuse the situation rather than escalate it.

Factors that influence how we think and what we do

by Rick Baker
On Nov 3, 2010
Figuring other people out…now there’s a challenge.
There is much to consider.
The task is a worthwhile one: but, where to start?
2 suggestions on how to prepare for doing a better job of understanding other people:
  1. Riders, Elephants, & Their Paths: Dr. Jonathan Haidt’s metaphor
    • The Rider: the logical part of us that struggles to control how we think and how we act
    • The Elephant: the emotional part of us that tends to do whatever it wants
    • The Path: the situation, which will alter Rider-Elephant action
  2. Primary and Secondary Factors that Influence How People Think: Dr. David J. Leiberman
    • Primary Factors:
      • Self-esteem…the person’s view of self-worthiness
      • Confidence…how the person feels about the task/situation at hand
      • Level of Interest…does the person have a vested interest, what's at stake
    • Secondary Factors:
      • Effort...how much emotional, physical, financial work must the person do
      • Justification...the person’s rationalization
      • Beliefs...the person’s beliefs, whether or not those beliefs are true/accurate
      • Mood…the person’s frame of mind
More about understanding other people in future Thought Posts…
Link to Dr. Jonathan Haidt.
Link to Dr. David J. Lieberman.


Emotions & Feelings @ Work

Sales Tweet #23

by Rick Baker
On Aug 18, 2010
Sales Tweet #23 It happens. If a Client is in a really bad mood...don't push. Volunteer to come back another day.
The Thinking Behind the Sales Tweet:
Here, we are talking about both listening and watching body language. If a Client is having a real tough day then it just might be better to end the visit and come back another day. One sales error I made taught me this lesson. I met for over an hour with a fellow who was in agony due to a recently-broken foot. All of us kept asking if he was OK and he kept saying Yes. The meeting was a waste of time for all of us. I could have saved all of us the time and the poor fellow the agony by cutting the meeting real short.


Emotions & Feelings @ Work | Sales | Thought Tweets

Creating Positive Change: Riders, their Elephants, & their Paths

by Rick Baker
On May 18, 2010
In 2006 Dr Jonathan Haidt published his book, `The Happiness Hypothesis`. www.happinesshypothesis.com                 
This year, 2010, Chip Heath and Dan Heath published their book, `SWITCH – How to Make Change When Change is Hard` www.heathbrothers.com 
This book by the Heath brothers builds on the analogy set by Haidt: that is, the rider, the elephant, and their path.
For Dr Haidt, the way humans go about things brought to mind a rider on an elephant. The rider represents our logical side and the elephant represents our emotional side. Our logical side is constantly struggling to control our emotional side.
The choice of elephant bangs home the point we are often under the control of our emotions rather than vice-versa.
The Heath brothers provide many examples of how we can use the Rider-Elephant-Path analogy to understand how to bring about positive change.
The Heath brothers recommend a 3-part frameworkto guide you when you need to change behaviour:
  1. What looks like a people problem is often a situation problem 
    So, we must Shape the Path
  2. What looks like laziness is often exhaustion 
    So we must Motivate the Elephant
  3. What looks like resistance is often a lack of clarity
    So, we must Direct the Rider
The Heaths provide a convincing argument…we should consider all three factors – the rider, the elephant, and their path – when we work to create positive change. And, there are several strategies and tactics for helping people with each of these three factors.
We can build the Haidt-Heath thinking into our methods for creating positive change.
More on creating positive change in future blogs…


Change: Creating Positive Change | Emotions & Feelings @ Work

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