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Name of author Rick Baker, P.Eng.

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Success & Self-Reliance

by Rick Baker
On Oct 28, 2015

Are you one of those people who has boundless energy regardless of what other people are doing?

Or are you one of those people whose energy diminishes when other people fail to perform up to your expectations?

It seems to me that many people fall into these two categories, these two polar-opposite categories. Of course, the self-help gurus talk about the first type when they describe the successful people, the leaders, the people who accomplished incredible things during their lifetimes.

Indomitable - that's perhaps one of the best words to describe these high-energy/high-sustained-energy people.

It seems to me self-reliance weakens or slips away from time to time. Even for the strongest and most-successful people -  even for people who get books written about them – self-reliance must slip away, at least from time to time. You may not know it has slipped away because some successful people develop the ability to show their ‘game face’ even while their stomachs and minds are churning with stress and worry.

When self-reliance slips away, that’s not failure. It is part of being human. The important things are: how long it takes to return and how fully it returns.

Resilient – When self-reliance slips away then returns quickly and fully, we see resilience in action. Perhaps, we have greater respect for the people who slip and fall then get back up, wipe themselves off, and press on with renewed vigour?

Self-reliant signals the above things. It signals people who are comfortable relying upon themselves and not relying upon what other people do. Self-reliance signals people who accept the obligation of inspiring their own actions and, of more importance, it signals people who are accountable for inspiring the energies that fuel their own actions.

"Relying Upon" ... Whom ... Why not self?

"Influencing" ... Whom ... Why not self?


Footnote:

The words in blue font were added this week. The words in black font were first posted August 11, 2014.

Tags:

Attitude: Creating Positive Attitude | Leaders' Thoughts

Knee-jerk Thoughts & Half-Baked Ideas

by Rick Baker
On Oct 26, 2015

Do you think thinking just happens automatically?

Do you think you think well?

Do you find your brain is prone to operate in knee-jerk mode?

***

Sure, thinking does happen automatically. However, outside of the occasional gem of insight, automatic thinking is the lowest level of thinking.

One way of looking at automatic thought: automatic thought happens when the brain is switched ‘On’ and the mind is switched ‘Off’.

Automatic thought has two forms:

  • True/helpful Insights
  • Knee-jerk Thoughts

True/helpful Insights – we all receive them from time to time. However, they represent a very small portion of our thoughts…for most people true/helpful insights happen so rarely it is reasonable to forecast they make up perhaps 1% of automatic thoughts. The other 99% of automatic thoughts are knee-jerk thoughts.

Knee-jerk Thoughts come in two forms:

  • Automatic Negative Thoughts [Dr. Daniel Amen coined the term ‘ANTs’…link to Thought Posts about ANTs]…ANTs cover a full range of emotion-laced negative thoughts, which often lead to negative actions and inactions: fears, worries, anxieties, bad attitude, etc...and all the bad habits that stem from these negative states of mind
  • Half-baked Ideas…these take our thoughts and actions on wild goose chases, down rabbit holes and up pipe dreams 
Knee-jerk thoughts consume and waste much energy. While it is impossible [and therefore unwise] to try to remove all knee-jerk thoughts, attitudes and outlooks improve when ANTs are controlled and half-baked ideas are tested before they waste too much energy...half-baked ideas need to be 'oven tested'. ANTs respond well to cognitive behavioural therapies. Half-baked ideas respond well when tested under oven-approved recipes that blend in common sense [particularly, wisdom of the ages], open-mindedness, a sense of adventure, and a pinch of creativity.

***

Is your brain prone to operate in knee-jerk mode?

...might want to work on that.

After all, knee jerks are much different than more sophisticated leg movements such as those involved in walking...let alone running in the right direction.

The pros and cons of crastination

by Rick Baker
On Oct 22, 2015

It seems to me we ought to re-define procrastination. While dictionaries generally define it as delaying or putting off doing something, in day-to-day conversation procrastination has a bad reputation. 

Most people think procrastination is a bad thing...so they admonish themselves and others who do it [actually, at a more granular level, I mean 'don't do it']. 

Anyhow, because it has evolved with such a negative image I think it is time to re-define procrastination as follows:

If you put things off and feel good about it - I mean, if you feel only good and never bad about it - that's procrastination.

If you put things off and feel bad about it - I mean, if you feel anxiety or worry or some other negative feeling - that's concrastination.

Then, putting things off and feeling neither good nor bad becomes crastination...[which, I acknowledge, requires some care in pronunciation...and perhaps spell-checking too?]. 

***

Regardless...

There's no question - procrastination has its pros and cons.

In fact, I continue to see value in procrastinating for success.

If you treat people like losers, you will not see them win.

by Rick Baker
On Oct 20, 2015

If you treat people like losers, you will not see them win:

  • You will see some of them lose
  • You will see the rest of them leave

Some people tolerate abuse. There's never a positive reason behind that tolerance.

Perhaps, they tolerate your abuse because they are in fear [and fear is closely related to weakness]. Often, weak people stay in abusive situations. Rarely, do they 'win'...so, you see them lose.

Perhaps, they tolerate your abuse because they have a hidden agenda. If this is the case then their goals do not align with your goals so they stay and work in dysfunctional ways to get what they are after. Meanwhile, you get to sense their dysfunction and watch them fail to achieve the goals you have chosen for them. You see them lose. These people may or may not be weak...unless you define deviousness as a weakness...in which case they will qualify as weak.

Some people are stronger than others. You probably will not be too skilled at perceiving this because you have the habit of abusing people.

On the other hand, if people leave after you abuse them then it is a safe bet they were your strong people.

When these people leave you will not see them win.

[Except when they choose to compete with you…in which case you will have the opportunity to receive repeated doses of feedback about their successes.]

 

Don't agonize over things done.; don't hold too dearly prizes won.

by Rick Baker
On Oct 19, 2015

Mistakes are a fundamental piece of the human condition. Everybody makes mistakes. At least, that's our perception.

We perceive others making mistakes - perhaps that started two ways: (1) when we were first told we could not do things we wanted to do and (2) when we first noticed people not doing things the way we thought those things should have been done.

We perceive our own mistakes - we notice ourselves doing things we think are wrong and we notice some things we do bring about undesirable results. Sometimes our mistakes barely register...like passing little, harmless faux pas. Other times we perceive our mistakes as major, problematic. Whether or not our mistakes have little or large consequences, sometimes we learn from them and sometimes we do not. When we learn from our mistakes we pave the path for good habits. When we to not learn from our mistakes we pave the path for bad habits.

Sometimes, we agonize over our mistakes. We analyse them ad nauseam. We try in vain to sort out why we did them. We wish we could undo the damage they created. We wish we had the opportunity to relive past experiences and get it right the second time. All of this wishing and agonizing - all this grieving over our mistakes - goes way beyond learning from our mistakes and places us in a self-destructive mind zone.

So, from time to time we need to remind ourselves: "Don't agonize over things done."

***

Recognition of success is a fundamental piece of the human condition. Everybody yearns for recognition. At least, that's our feeling.

When we do things successfully, gratification [when it comes] comes to us two ways: (1) intrinsically - self-satisfaction around tasks well done and (2) extrinsically - approving feedback from others. All of this recognition around tasks well performed can be viewed as prizes.

We deliver some of the prizes to ourselves. We receive some of the prizes from others. Some of the prizes are intangible. Some are tangible.

Sometimes, we downplay these prizes...having trouble receiving recognition and/or pretending we do not value them. Sometimes, we hold them so tightly they become a routine. Sometimes, we become consumed by the memories of past successes. Sometimes we repeat stories about them over and over and over...like the 'Glory Days' in that Bruce Springsteen song. We grope and grasp at our stories of the past...desperately holding on to past-directed thoughts...desperately holding on to our prizes...and missing the opportunities to succeed in new ways.

So, from time to time we need to remind ourselves: "Don't hold too dearly prizes won."

 

 

 

 

Money, Pay Cheques, Family-Business Anxiety & Anger

by Rick Baker
On Oct 13, 2015

Each person in a family business has an opinion about the value of his or her services. Put another way, each person has an opinion on how much he or she should be paid.

Do you know those opinions at your business?

Do you agree with those opinions?

Money - specifically, the size of pay cheques received by family members - can become a big problem in family business.

Some people have told me that money's not a problem at their family business because their children - all the siblings - get paid the same amount. Other family-business people - some of those siblings - have complained to me that they are only paid the same amount as their brothers and sisters...who contribute far less value.

A couple of things are clear: pay-cheque money is important and discussions of money are not happening and/or are not handled well.

There is another factor: the pay-cheque discussions or the verbal and silent objections around pay-cheques can permeate the family...in the business environment and in the family homes.

Money disputes can sour family members against one another and the resulting injuries they inflict on one another often spread into the workplace.

Pay-cheque money is a sensitive issue…whether the shy family members say so or not.

An essential consideration…

How do you communicate about the money paid to the family members at your family business?

Tags:

Abundance | Family Business and CFFB

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