Thought Tweet #926 To expand your Influence, learn how to react more constructively to other people's body language. 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Show people you get them.

Show people you can change.

Lead change, by example.

Start With WHY

Good leaders know people's emotions can be touched and people can become motivated when they understand WHY. WHY messages appeal to emotions. HOW and WHAT messages connect with logic. Emotions drive decisions and inspire action; emotions overrule logic. So, when good leaders communicate they start with why.

Stick with INTERESTS

Good leaders know disputes can be avoided and disputes can be diffused when people focus on Interests rather than talk about Rights or take action to exercise Power. Interests differ...however, for most people in most situations, one person's Interests do not threaten others. Certainly, they do not threaten others like claims about rights do or like actions that illustrate the use of power do. So, when good leaders communicate they stick with interests.

source: Interests, Rights, & Power circles - Mark Weber, UW

Talk ADULT to ADULT

Transactional Analysis taught that people's behaviour can be described in 3 ways: Parent, Adult, & Child. Parents make demands, Children are told what to do, and Adults do not achieve successful results when they behave like Parents or when they behave like Children. Good leaders know communications are most productive when people behave like Adults [not like Parents, not like Children]. So, when good leaders interact with people they endeavour to talk adult to adult.

Understand People Do Only 3 Things: Good Habits, Bad Habits, & New Things

Good Habits are things people think and do that help them achieve long-term desires and goals. Bad Habits are things that people think and do that do not help them achieve long-term desires and goals. Good leaders use these simple definitions to inject clarity into their lives. Then good leaders work at reducing their performance of Bad Habits and expanding their performance of Good Habits. And, good leaders test New Things...relentlessly seeking more Good Habits.

Take Talent To Task

Good leaders are fascinated by people's talents. When people's talents show a capability of aligning with the trust of the leader's goals, good leaders ensure the talented person has access to (1) opportunities to put the talent to productive use, (2) specialized knowledge to complement the talent, and (3) time to practice skills to hone the talent into a personal strength. Then good leaders don't leave things to chance - they help people connect personal strengths to important tasks. 

Don’t force change…construct it with comfort

Good leaders know change is constructive only when people are comfortable. And personal and business growth happens when people learn how to expand their comfort zones. Knowing these things, good leaders consider people's comfort/stress levels and design change in increments that help expand comfort zones without triggering the destructive consequences that naturally happen when people are forced into discomfort zones. Good leaders also know this correct approach to change 'dominoes' as confidence escalates.

Repeat clearly, "I do have time!"

Good leaders know the importance of leading by example. So, they know if they say "I don't have time" or "I'm too busy" their followers will pick up on that, think the same way, talk the same way, and act accordingly...spreading the lack-of-abundance mindset to one and all. Knowing this, good leaders remove the "I don't have time" & "I'm too busy" bad habit from their thoughts and words. They replace the bad habit with good habits: as examples, they apply the 80/20 Rule and they practice abundance thought and solution talk.

Change character for the better

All great leaders changed their character. Perhaps Abraham Lincoln performed one of the greatest self-transformations. When he was a young man he had the habit of openly criticizing other people. In 1842 Lincoln publicly criticized Illinois state employee James Shields. Shields took exception to the criticism and challenged Lincoln to a duel. The 2 men faced one another with weapons in hands. Fortunately their seconds intervened. Lincoln used the incident as a life-lesson and he chose to change his character for the better...rarely criticizing others. Lincoln's change of character took him from the dueling field to the White House.