While pondering the strategies for getting beyond anxiety, somehow a John [Cougar] Mellencamp song popped into my mind…but the words had changed.

“When I fight anxiety anxiety always wins.”

Why?

Why does anxiety win when people fight it?

I suppose there are arguments about deepening the brain ruts carved out by negative thoughts – our ruminations and worries, because they are laced with emotion and repeated, tend to dig deep ruts. Perhaps, fighting them expands the weight of emotion? Perhaps, it’s as simple as resistance causes more repetition?

Regardless, when it comes to anxiety, resistance is futile.

When you fight anxiety anxiety always wins.

So, when anxiety visits you, do not fight it. Instead, find ways to break the patterns of thoughts and actions you [intentionally and unintentionally] perform in reaction to anxiety.

Don’t fight to break the reactionary cycles that deepen the ruts caused by anxiety. Instead of fighting, think and act in new ways that are designed to disrupt the cycles. Make sure you only use non-violent methods. Accept anxiety as a natural part of life. And, accept the fact anxieties tend to exaggerate themselves. Don’t fight the exaggeration…just observe it…after the fact….then in real time.

When you don't fight anxiety anxiety weakens. 

When anxiety weakens anxiety doesn't always win. 

When anxiety doesn't win it eases its grip on you.

Anxiety is a natural state of mind...a most-powerful state of mind....perhaps, the most-powerful state of mind.

Anxiety is a natural gift, protecting us from danger because it makes us attentive to real dangers.

If uncontrolled, it can become a major problem. Anxiety has the power to remove our ability to succeed because it makes us fear imaginary dangers.

Anxiety is a sharp double-edged sword, capable of cutting our performance in many ways.

To succeed - to achieve our goals - we must work at controlling our sword-gift, Anxiety.

***

About choosing to develop Self-Control- a Thought Post from May 4, 2015

How often do you think about your Intelligence & your Self-Control?

Every human being possesses the seeds of intelligence and self-control at birth. To a certain degree, and the degree varies from person to person, we develop these two abilities over time. The amount of intelligence and self-control we develop determines the extent we are able to express our strengths. 

It takes drive to develop your Intelligence.

It takes drive to develop your Self-Control.

It takes even more drive to develop both Intelligence & Self-Control.

And, drive consumes energy. Drive consumes energy as it formulates thoughts in your brain. Drive consumes more energy as it converts those thoughts into action.

And, in many situations, drive consumes large amounts of energy when it converts thoughts into the non-action required when your willpower is called upon to limit behavior to satisfy your Self-Control goal.

What is your Self-Control goal?

Oh, you’ve not set a Self-Control goal.

That’s not a surprise.

Most people do not view Self-Control as a ‘general’ stand-alone trait/ability. Most people only consider Self-Control as it can be applied in ‘specific’ situations. Most people do not cross-pollinate their specific and relatively small Self-Control wins.

Most people do not set the Self-Control bar high enough.

You do not have to be like most people.

It is a matter of choice.

Self-Control, one of our greatest gifts, is a matter of choice.

What Self-Control do you choose?

Frustration is one of those words that has a range of meanings.

For some people, frustration may mean ‘anger’. I view anger as a different mindset. I believe anger involves a different mix of neuro-transmitters/chemistry and neurons. So I encourage people to use the word ‘angry’ when they are angry take care when they use the word ‘frustration’.

For some people, frustration may mean ‘annoyance’. However, I view annoyance as a different mindset…halfway between ‘neutral’, i.e., feeling Ho-Humm about something and feeling anger.

Frustration is about not getting our way and feeling hard done by, like a victim. It's being troubled about the inability to control people, processes, and situations. It's about seeing problems without seeing solutions. 

Sometimes frustration is fleeting...like a hesitation that precedes or grows into anger.

Sometimes frustration is a feeling of annoyance that tugs at us…negative mental thoughts that stall us and make us inactive.

I think the lawyers have it right – Frustration prevents things from being successfully completed.

So, for me, frustration is a very bad mental state, worse than anger. At least, anger has the potential to generate action – including positive, constructive action. Whereas, frustration tends to either remove positive action and when it does generate action that action is primarily victim-speak [cries for help].

And – as Eckhart Tolle said, “Most people respond to a cry for help with a cry for help.”

Most people respond to frustration with frustration.

Frustration, a self-inflicted misery, enjoys company.