How many times have you heard the saying, 'misery enjoys company'?

 

Apparently, this is widely-accepted as a fact of the human condition. And, it has been accepted for quite some time.

 

Many years ago, I argued that ‘company enjoys misery’ too. I mean, some people get a kick out of knowing others are worse off…as if being less worse off than those unfortunate creatures is a consolation prize. But, I do not argue that anymore. I mean, aside from making the point clear again here in this paragraph I do not argue that anymore.

 

But, I will argue the following points.

 

For one reason or another, lots of people have the habit of sharing their stories of woe.

 

If we sat these people down and asked them if sharing woes is a Good Habit or a Bad Habit I expect the vast majority of people would state, “That’s a Bad Habit”. They might even add, “People who spend time dealing with stories of woe are doing nothing positive or constructive. Those discussions do not bring people closer to their personal goals or to their business goals.”

 

People know the time is wasted.

 

People know that damage is done.

 

Yet, people do it anyhow.

 

And, some people do a lot of it!

 

The Bottom Line: Negativity consumes a great deal of people’s lives. It consumes a great deal of business people’s work-lives. It may be consuming a great of your followers’ work-lives.

 

Every one of us engages in negativity to some degree.

 

The Leader’s challenge is to minimize that negativity.

 

Again, the Leader enjoys a unique opportunity – leading by example.

 

Leaders can lead by example by making a conscious effort to refrain from collecting other people's garbage. Leaders must also work to refrain from dumping garbage on others.

 

This is one area where leading by example is absolutely within the Leader’s control: the Leader has an exclusive opportunity to send out visible signals of self-confidence and interpersonal harmony.

We don't bother to measure our feelings and emotions.

 

At least most of us, most of the time, don't measure our feelings and emotions.

 

That's not to say we don't 'register' our feelings and emotions. And, that's not to say we don't behave in accordance with our feelings and emotions.

 

We do those things.

 

We do register the fact we feel this way or that. And, we do recognize our feelings and emotions play a role in what we do.

 

We just don't measure what's going on.

 

Maybe we are generally content with our feelings and emotions...so, why bother analysing them or taking the time to measure them?

 

Maybe we don't think we can do much about our feelings and emotions...like, they happen and that's it?

 

Maybe we've thought of measuring our emotions and feelings but couldn't quickly identify how that might be done...then, we got busy and that thought slipped away?

 

Regardless, maybe today we are thinking it would be a good idea to figure out a way to measure our emotions and feelings.

 

If that's something you’d like to do then there are simple ways to do it.

 

About a dozen years ago Brian Tracy recommended a technique which is simple and helpful. He recommended a scale from Minus10-to-Plus10.

• a rating of ‘Minus 10’ means you have the most negative possible feeling about the situation at hand. As examples...utter disgust and raging anger
• a rating of ‘Zero’ is absolutely neutral...take it or leave it
• a rating of ‘Plus 10’ is the most positive feeling about the situation. As examples…sheer bliss and pure love

I like the Minus10-to-Plus10 approach much better than any other 'yardstick' for measuring emotions/feelings.

 

A Minus10-to-Plus10 approach forces us to accept the reality of negatives and positives.

 

It also makes sure we do not lose track of the fact, when you boil it down, we only have 2 types of emotions:

• Emotions that make us feel Good
• Emotions that make us feel Bad

That helps remove all the mumbo jumbo about optimists versus pessimists. Everyone experiences Good feelings and everyone has Bad feelings.

 

A Minus10-to-Plus10 approach also allows us a wide enough range to make and be pleased about baby-steps of improvement.

 

It’s easy to give and receive advice like, "Your problem is you don't have a positive mental attitude. Think positive and all will be well."

 

On the other hand, that's not really very practical. To alter our feelings, if our goal is to have more good feelings then, we need to overcome deeply ingrained Bad Habits...some of which we know and can identify...and some of which are deeply rooted in our subconscious.

 

While we may never uncover the deep roots of habits we can always register and measure our feelings and emotions.

 

Using a Minus10-to-Plus10 Scale© we can calibrate any and all our feelings [or emotions if you prefer to describe it that way]. Some of this goes without saying...catastrophes can generate extreme frustration or anger or compassion or grief, etc. Other feelings and emotions, the ones that we experience throughout every waking moment of every day, are more subtle and their root causes are less clear. Regardless, the feelings and emotions influence what we do next...they influence how we feel next…and, repeating, they influence what we do next. And, they generate patterns of behaviour that show up later...including years later.

 

We can choose the behaviours we desire then create those behaviours.

 

We can use the Minus10-to-Plus10 Scale© to create those behaviours.

Here’s what I think...

• When we behave [take action], our behaviour alters our brain…maybe only a little, maybe much more than a little…depending on the situation...and the nature of our behaviour [our action].
• When we think, our thoughts alter our brain… maybe only a little, maybe much more than a little…depending on the situation around and the nature of our thoughts…probably, also depending on the strength of the emotions/feelings we are experiencing at the time we are thinking.
• When we are not consciously behaving or thinking [for example, when we are asleep] things happen inside us that alter our brain… maybe only a little, maybe more than a little…likely, these changes are minor but they build over time. For example, brain-things likely happen during our sleep to place experiences of the day into our ‘memory bank’.

Considering the fact we are thinking and behaving 100% of the time we are conscious and we are not conscious the rest of our living hours…

 

I am saying our brain is constantly changing…physically…maybe a little, maybe much more than a little…but always at least a little.

 

I recognize this has not been verified empirically…i.e., it is not proven.

 

It seems to me this is just common sense.

 

While many people have said our brains are like computers I do not agree with that. Our brains have wiring, connections, and on-off switches like computers. Maybe once they are established most or maybe all of the connections are unchangeable. Maybe some of the brain wires are unchangeable. Regardless, the brain wires are replacing themselves, and growing, and moving around and the connections are multiplying/popping up in new places and dying/ceasing activity in some places. And, the switches are doing that too.

 

On a macro scale the brain is changing slowly unless there is a catastrophe like a stroke.

 

On a micro scale the little pieces of stuff in the brain are in a constant state of flux…ebbing and flowing with our thoughts, our behaviour, and all the mysterious workings of our subconscious.

 

Certain behaviours and thoughts align with Good Work Habits. The more of these behaviours and thoughts we do/have the more we will self-inflict brain changes aligned with Good Work Habits…as described in the Napoleon Hill classic ‘Think and Grow Rich’. [Note: I do not recall Napoleon Hill ever indicating the brain itself changed. Rather, he said our thoughts resonated and connected with “Universal Intelligence”.]

 

Certain behaviours and thoughts align with Bad Work Habits. The less of these behaviours and thoughts we do/have the less we will self-inflict brain changes aligned with Bad Work Habits. As in – Don’t Think and Don’t Grow Poor’.

 

The truly great news is recent scientific developments have provided much new evidence to illustrate/suggest the above is more than just directionally correct.

 

While many have said ‘Think and Grow Rich’ is a nice little motivational book, recent scientific developments are illustrating/suggesting the book contains ‘the secret’ – as in the book, ‘The Secret’ - to successful business [and life].

 

Recent scientific developments are beginning to validate the fact business people who desire riches can get them using a ‘Think and Grow Rich’ process. This validation will help business people understand how simple actions [New Work Things] can generate material people changes and those people changes can generate profitable business.