by Rick Baker
On Oct 5, 2011
We say people only do 3 things: Good Habits, Bad Habits, & New Things.
Most people don’t do too many New Things.
Most people are, as the saying goes, creatures of habit….some good, some bad.
Some people want to make some changes. If you are still reading then probably you are one of those people.
IF YOU FEEL PEOPLE ARE NOT LISTENING TO YOU…
Here are a couple of ideas
- Pre-Communicate: Pre-pave the path before you deliver the intended communication, your important communication. Don’t spring important things on people. While it is necessary to communicate crisply from time to time it often becomes a problem if people label you as a person with crisp/curt/instructional communication style. As backward as it may strike you, it is often a problem if you are seen as a person who is a fountain of new ideas or a promoter of new things.
So, people will listen better if you pre-communicate. This can range from serious sit-downs like brainstorming sessions to ‘I want to bounce an idea off you’ to chats about the family or favourite sport.
Consider your character and be natural. Some people are naturally gregarious…others are naturally introverted. If you are naturally introverted then do not view that as a limitation…it is not a limitation. It is just a difference, requiring a different approach. Introversion, if you make some small adjustments, can be the foundation for quick trust. The best key to quick trust is asking questions.
Free up time to dedicate to pre-communication…pre-paving the path for ideas…pre-paving the path for change.
- Tell Sticky Stories: Listening, if it happens at all, happens as a step in a process. The process begins with Attention, moves to Interest, and Listening follows. It is relatively easy to ‘get Attention’. You can prove that to yourself…just place yourself among some people and make a loud noise. There are many ways to ‘get Attention’. Keeping it is more challenging. To ‘keep Attention’ we must trigger Interest. The best key to triggering Interest is speaking from [and to] the heart…by telling personal stories. Sticky Stories can capture and hold Interest so long that Interest becomes Listening.
Important Point: Interest needs to survive for a period of time before Listening can begin…prior to that time people may be hearing you…but they ain’t Listening.
Interest is fickle.
- If Interest hears things like, “I’ve got a list of statistics I’d like to review with you…” then Interest leaves the room.
- If Interest hears things like, “Did you hear the one about…” then Interest might stay around for a while.
- If Interest hears things like, “WOW, did you see the…” then Interest will probably want to hear what’s said next.
We have written, talked, and taught a lot about Sticky Stories.
For samples of our work, check out our
Workshop #2and these links: