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by Rick Baker
On May 22, 2017
Some people are perceived as victors: consider Olympic gold medalists, victorious over all competitors.
Some people are perceived as victims: consider pedestrians who are victims of hit-and-run drivers.
Some people are perceived as masters: consider the conductors of world-famous orchestras.
Some people are perceived as servants: consider the people who attend to the Queen of England.
The above are, at least, somewhat-extreme examples. I mean, few people would dispute these examples. There are of course 'textures' to each of these 4 labels: a range of victors, a range of victims, a range of masters, and a range of servants.
In general, most people would consider victors and victims to be at the opposite end of one scale and masters to be the opposite of servant. That's the context I am thinking about here, I am thinking a person cannot be a victor and a victim at the same time. I am also thinking a person cannot be a master and a servant at the same time.
With that introduction...
Considering these four possibilities, how do you perceive yourself?
Where would you place yourself in the following picture?
How do you perceive yourself?
Do you see yourself as a Victor-Master?
Do you see yourself as a Victor-Servant?
Do you see yourself as a Victim-Master?
Do you see yourself as a Victim-Servant?
More to follow...
by Rick Baker
On May 18, 2017
It is fascinating to watch how people respond to errors at work. Reaction to errors, their own errors and other people's errors, tells you a lot about people.
I tend to look at it this way...
...and as I observe you:
I think about Attribution Bias.
I think about how other people react to and what people learn from your reactions.
I think about the culture you are generating.
***
Oblivious to errors - Does anyone possess that mindset? [reminds me of Mr. Magoo]
A Balanced approach to errors - If you think that is your approach to errors then what, exactly, do you mean by "balanced"? What does it mean for your errors? What does it mean for other people's errors?
Extreme Criticism - What, exactly, does that mean? How do you apply criticism to yourself? How do you apply criticism to other people? Are you consistent when you apply extreme criticism?
***
Does your reaction-to-errors choice take you closer to your long-term goals? farther from them? no idea?
Or, perhaps, you do not believe you have a choice?
***
I believe successful people have 3 main attributes: Intelligence, Willpower, & Drive.
Do you think successful people react to errors the same way you react to errors?
Do you think successful people plan their reaction to errors?
Do you think successful people learn from observing reactions to errors?
by Rick Baker
On May 15, 2017
Some people naturally repulse criticism. These people may show outward signs of their repulsion. These people may not show outward signs, or their repulsion may hide so well it would take a professional observer to notice it. Regardless, internally, these people churn in reaction to criticism. For these people - even small, innocuous pieces of feedback can trigger intense internal reactions, floods of adrenalin – adrenalin spikes.
- Do you know people who show vehement reaction to tiny criticisms…people who have zero tolerance for incoming criticism?
- Do you know people who, at first, show no outward reaction to criticism then, later, strike excessive reactionary blows against the person who delivered the criticism?
- Do you know people who have the habit of claiming they are the victim of undue criticism?
- Do you know people who repulse criticism yet deliver it to others with gusto and righteousness?
These are four common reactions to criticism.
I have personally exhibited at least three of these four reactions to criticism…and, probably, many people would think I’m selling myself short by not admitting to all four.
Why?
Why would I have had such reactions to criticism?
Not having much knowledge of physiology or biology and only dabbling experience with psychology I answer that question this way:
- When people criticized me, I experienced adrenalin spikes [or was that cortisol?]. I felt strong, churning, tightening sensations in the gut…quickly followed by combinations of anxiety and anger, often intense anger...then excessive negative thoughts and behaviour.
- This reaction must have started when I was a very young child. I have no memory of reacting any other way to criticism [until the last decade, that is].
- Perhaps, my criticism-repulsion was are due to genetics? Perhaps, my childhood environment? Perhaps, my early experiences with authority figures? I expect it was some combination of these things.
Here’s a curious thing. When you experience criticism-repulsion as a child you can be quite oblivious to other people. And, this can cause challenges…a large variety of interpersonal challenges. Left unattended, these interpersonal challenges can last a lifetime.
Here’s some good news. It is possible to gain self-understanding and create strategies to overcome the interpersonal challenges. The starting point, or at least one starting point, is recognition of the physiological changes that signal less-than-ideal reactions to criticism. People, perhaps most people, can alter their bad habits [including adrenalin spikes] if they choose to make the changes and do the work required.
PS: Perhaps, the people who experience the criticism-repulsion I have described are most capable of identifying it in other people? ... and helping others?
by Rick Baker
On May 8, 2017
I have experienced some synchronicity around this topic...I have witnessed several unrelated instances...some people have complained about the interpersonal damages done by office conflict while others have applauded the value office conflicts have injected into innovative and creative processes.
Business empires have been built around office conflicts and 'crucial conversations'. In some cases the empires are bestselling books, must-do and how-to manuals aimed at teaching people how to diffuse, reduce, remove office conflicts. At the other end of the spectrum, we have a touted genius-of-our-time and an empire formed around the legacy of a partially-eaten apple.
And, interpersonal conflicts create huge challenges in family businesses: parent-child rifts, sibling rivalry, family distrusts. When these entrenchments exist it is easy to determine the cause/fault. It always rests with the other guy!
On the other hand, according to some experts, strongly-expressed differences of opinion lead to creative breakthroughs. Thick-skinned people locking horns in boardrooms and other meeting rooms...generating many diverse ideas...reaching a single decision...enjoying consensus...working in unison...achieving desired goals.
Radically different views about Office Conflicts!
What's your personal comfort zone?
Your comfort zone: that's the key area...
What's your personal comfort zone?
- How far are you prepared to stretch your comfort zone to accommodate other people's viewpoints?
- How open are you to accept different styles of communication when other people express their viewpoints?
- How clearly do you communicate your personal values and rules?
Put another way:
- Are you open to 'possibilities and 'new things'?
- Are you open to different personalities and communication styles?
- Do you know and share these important aspects of your character...telling stories to explain why you are the way you are?
As the ancient Greek maxim goes - "Know Thyself".
When you know yourself and know how to share important aspects of yourself with others you have the opportunity to be part of teams that excel at communication.
Internally - These successful teams may operate in friendly ways or in not-so-friendly ways.
Externally - These successful teams will present a unified front.
From Your Perspective - These successful teams will be inspiring, productive and gratifying.
by Rick Baker
On May 1, 2017
The Thinking Behind The Tweet
The cornerstone of our personality, our mental attitude, shows up as the general flavour of our thoughts...as illustrated in our actions/behaviour.
by Rick Baker
On Apr 27, 2017
A number of years ago, I posted the following thoughts about how to kill good ideas.
It is interesting to see a number of people liked the contrarian approach. Perhaps we should spend more time communicating about how to kill good ideas? Perhaps that would encourage people to come up with more-creative ways of squashing one another's innovations, inventions, and creative thoughts? Perhaps this could go a long way toward throttling that annoying habit called Curiosity?
Regardless, at least we have 4 proven ways of getting the job done!
By Rick Baker
On Oct 4, 2011
As mentioned recently, I read a really interesting book. It taught me how to kill good ideas.
Here is a sample of what I learned, 4 ways to kill good ideas:
- Fear Mongering…use genuine facts from the past to create a picture of a fearful future You know many people agonize over the mistakes they have made in the past. And they worry horrible events will repeat themselves…causing misery. So, when someone has a good idea and you want to kill it you can try this strategy. Just recall some extremely painful event from the past and express your concern that this terrifying situation could happen again if we accept this new idea.
- Death by Delay…one great way to do this is send the idea to a committee
Here’s a nuance you can incorporate when you use this strategy. Dig up some abstruse fact from your company’s history. Applaud the idea then introduce the abstruse fact and talk as if you are convinced the idea and the abstruse fact must be addressed by a committee of various intelligent people. Suggest a chairperson for the committee…i.e., suggest someone you know to be a curmudgeon.
- Confusion…inject lots of irrelevant facts and support them with illogical arguments
Keep a list of irrelevant facts in a file in the MemoPad area of your BlackBerry. Gather these over time, wean out the weakest ones, and replace them as you find really-choice irrelevant facts. Have at least a dozen fresh irrelevant facts ready for use. Then, whenever people come up with ideas pull out your BlackBerry while stating something like, 'What a synchronicity…I was writing some notes around that topic last week'. Then go on to cite a list of irrelevant facts…keep it up until at least one person dozes off.
- Ridicule…with a good-natured demeanour and calm voice, assassinate the character of the person who has the idea
This one should come with a warning: DO NOT show anything close to a negative emotion while you do this. That could backfire on you, making you look like some sort of unreasonable person. CAUTION: this will take practice…if you are real busy then pick another strategy. To pull this one off you must be pleasant and calm. You must prepare your assassinating words well in advance and practice them in front of a mirror so they come across just right. I recognize that is barely an introduction to this 4th way to kill ideas. But, a more-detailed explanation is beyond the scope of this Thought Post.
You may be saying to yourself, surely there must be more ways to kill good ideas.
Yes, do not fret; of course there are many other wonderful ways to kill ideas.
FootnoteThe book I am referring to is ‘Buy-In, saving your good idea from being shot down’, John P. Kotter and Lorne A. Whitehead. According to the authors of the book I just read, the average person receives about 10,000 ideas [other people’s plans, demands, suggestions, and proposals] every week. That’s a lot of incoming ideas to deal with. Many people are overwhelmed. Most people figure out ways to kill the vast majority of those ideas. The authors provide some solutions…i.e., how to save your good ideas from being shot down. But, it’s a double-edge sword…you can also use their wisdom to hone your skills at killing good ideas.
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