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Name of author Rick Baker, P.Eng.

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When we look outward and feel things are beyond our control it is most difficult to look inward and muster self-control.

by Rick Baker
On Jun 6, 2017

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Some situations seem to be beyond our control. In fact, some situations are beyond our control. Other situations just appear to be beyond our control. Regardless, really beyond our control or appearing beyond our control - these are the situations that put our self-control to the toughest test. When our locus of control is tested, so is our self-control. We do better when we anticipate these situations and prepare, in our minds, for them. 

 

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Abundance | Attitude: Creating Positive Attitude | Emotions & Feelings @ Work | Thought Tweets

In small doses anxiety energizes and hones focus. In large doses anxiety becomes a demon that destroys quality of life.

by Rick Baker
On Jun 5, 2017

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Anxiety is part of our lives.

Anxiety is laced with rumination about past mistakes and problems or worry about future mistakes and problems.

In small doses anxiety helps us overcome difficulties, which leads to the building of confidence

In large doses anxiety can overwhelm us, leading to avoidance lack of confidence and even depression.

One key to success: when anxiety is triggered begin by taking on little challenges. that will help you gain the confidence you will require when you face larger challenges.

We are too tolerant of conflict!

by Rick Baker
On May 29, 2017

Are you better off following prescribed step-by-step conflict resolution processes designed by 'the experts' or drawing on your innate talents to resolve conflicts? Perhaps, for some people, there is merit in using someone else's detailed approach. However, how often have you seen that work in real life situations?

We should draw on our innate talents to resolve conflicts.

I have never seen canned processes for conflict resolution work in real life situation. We cannot be someone else so what would cause us to think we could use someone else's approach to conflict resolution? To the extent we find ourselves in situations of conflict we know we are at least partially responsible for our predicament [if not fully responsible]. We didn't follow someone else's steps when we walked our way into the conflict situation...so, we should not expect to be able to follow someone else's logical steps to find our way out of the conflict situation.

Often, we find ourselves in situations of conflict because:

1. we lack self-confidence and, as a result of that, we behave either too timidly or too aggressively and

2. we are too lazy to figure out how to avoid conflict or nip conflict in the bud when we know it has commenced.

We are too tolerant of conflict.

Some people even promote conflict in the workplace because they view it as a good, healthy, and productive way to communicate, make decisions, and delegate tasks.

That's interesting in many negative directions!

The results conflict promoters achieve at their businesses prove it is a high-risk-low-reward strategy. If that strategy ever worked it certainly has fallen out of vogue in recent decades. For example, under our Bill 168, we want people to feel secure at work. I expect Abraham Maslow would have supported this approach.

The reality is, some people – mostly people lacking self-confidence - either enjoy conflict with others or see it as a necessary component of work [and possibly life]. What can we expect from these die-hard conflict consumers and conflict distributors? Certainly, we cannot expect them to buy into following someone else's prescribed steps for conflict resolution. These people cannot follow such steps because they lack the innate talents required to avoid or resolve conflict.

And, if people possess the innate talents required to resolve conflicts then they can and should find their own natural ways to avoid and resolve conflict.

Either way, there is no need for experts to prescribe conflict resolution processes. These prescribed processes do not work because people either cannot follow them or do not need to follow them.

People need to understand themselves, work continuously at building and maintaining their self-confidence levels, educate themselves about innate talents and interpersonal interactions, and exercise self-control. These are the routes that lead to conflict avoidance and conflict resolution.

Respond to cries for help with listening ears, seeing eyes and thinking brains...rather than with your cries for help..

by Rick Baker
On May 29, 2017

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

As Eckhart Tolle said, “Most people respond to a cry for help with a cry for help”.

You can find plenty of opportunities to break that communication pattern!

Intrinsic Goals feel right...they inspire & they energize.

by Rick Baker
On May 21, 2017

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Intrinsic Goals envision life purpose, mastery of task, and self-actualization. Naturally, intrinsic goals align with talents and Strengths. And, in contrast to extrinsic goals, intrinsic goals tend to broaden rather than restrict experiences. 

Anxiety is in our genes...it is the legacy of fight or flight, which allowed our ancestors to bring us us.

by Rick Baker
On May 17, 2017

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Anxiety: be present, don't fret over it, observe it in real time, & learn what it takes to control it if it gets out of hand.

In right-sized doses, anxiety energizes and hones focus.

In too-large doses, anxiety becomes a demon and destroys quality of life.

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