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Name of author Rick Baker, P.Eng.

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Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, No [...and now...likely...it's over!]

by Rick Baker
On Oct 30, 2013

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, No       [...and now...likely...it's over!]

The Art of Good Questions is about asking questions that bring about 'Yes' answers.

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes.

What a fine string of 'Yeses'.

Then...

...'No'.

And, with that 'No'...'Yes' is likely over...resistance has kicked in...the other person is now either turned off, wanting to escape or ready to fight your every move.

There's a fine, sharp edge between 'Yes' and 'No'. That edge cuts quickly and deeply when you cause a person's thoughts to pass from the 'Yes' side to the 'No' side. Once the other person's thoughts are on the 'No' side, the constructive part of the conversation is over and irrecoverable. This is one of the reasons Constructive Criticism is an Oxymoron

When you criticize people you trigger their 'No' responses....and, at that point, constructive communication is over.

Sure, you may be able to present immaculate logic to try to extract the 'No' mindset from the other people...but remember, your chances are about the same as those of an unskilled rider trying to control a rather-out-of-sorts elephant.

Sure, you might try apologizing and asking to start over...if your trust bank account is flush with relationship assets then you may be able to pull that one off.

And, sure - the other person may be one of those exceptional people with thick skin...but, as you know, that's not very likely.

Thought Tweet #856.5

by Rick Baker
On Oct 28, 2013

Thought Tweet #856.5 How to build relationships, earn trust, and influence people. [3 related essentials]

 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

'How to win friends and influence people.' [Dale Carnegie's classic....really, about how to influence people, starting with friendly relationships]

So...

How to influence people.

How to build relationships to influence people.

How to earn trust to influence people.

How to build relationships, earn trust, and influence people.

Tags:

Influencing | Thought Tweets

How much thought do you invest in training your people?

by Rick Baker
On Oct 25, 2013

There are many ways to construct a training and staff-development plan for the people in your business.

Here is one way to start.

Think about how the 80/20 Rule applies to the tasks performed by your people.

Create a list of the 20% of tasks that contribute 80% of the results you desire.

Then, for each task, answer two questions:

  1. "Is this a routine Task or is it a not-Routine task?"
  2. "Is it a Technical task [specific to your business & industry] or is it an Interpersonal task [people influencing people]?"
Create a 1-page picture [like below] and insert your Top 20% tasks into the 4 quadrants.
 
 
When this is done you will have a picture of the Top 20% of the work-tasks you want your people to perform.
 
This picture can be used to 'troubleshoot' your training and development programs...just ask,
 
"What stands out?"
  • Not sure whether a task is Routine or not-Routine? [Better figure that out!]
  • Too much emphasis on Technical tasks, at the expense of developing Interpersonal strengths? [Better balance that out!]
When you sort these things out and are comfortable you have the right balance, do a double-check: apply the 80/20 Rule again, then ask,
 
"What stands out?"
  • Are you balancing your training and development programs across your Top 4% tasks?
  • Are you balancing your training and development programs at all reporting levels?
 

***

 

Why do this Routine/not-Routine/Technical/Interpersonal quadrant picture of your 80/20 Rule tasks?

Here's an introductory answer...

Business consists of 3 things: People, Process, & Situations. People create the Process. The Process consists of series of tasks. The People find themselves in various situations. Often, when problems arise, Situations appear more complicated. Often, simple solutions are missed and time, effort, and money are wasted. For this reason, it is important to ensure Routine tasks are not ignored and are supported by simple tools, including checklists. Much time, effort, and money is dedicated to R&D, invention, & innovation. That covers a very important area of tasks. However, when these not-Routine Technical tasks and processes are ruined because Routine Technical tasks were not performed properly...well, the lessons can be very painful. Consider, for example the crashing of the Flying Fortress during its highly-touted test flight.

Similarly, many businesses invest heavily in training and development for not-Routine Interpersonal tasks such as media training and handling crucial conversations while they fail to train people how to make decisions and listen to one another. These basic Routine Interpersonal tasks, when covered well, pave the path for top-notch business performance.

And NOTE: time has a way of eroding and changing memories. So, we must repeat, repeat, repeat if we want to ensure our people have the training and development they need to possess desirable business strengths. And to inspire...let's inject some creativity into it and make training and development experiences enjoyable. Failure to Repeat: Well, that's a fatal flaw!

Some people simply do not get along...

by Rick Baker
On Oct 24, 2013

Some people simply do not get along.

And, they never will.

So - they will never work together in harmony.

When you experience incivility at work or other forms of 'people not getting along', it is important to determine whether or not the situation you are facing is one where the people are never going to work together in harmony. This is important because if, in reality, people are battling and have made their minds up to never get along then there is no value in trying to influence them to change. You will never cause them to get along. The best you can do is cause them to behave in less-destructive ways. 

In fact, to generate constructive change you only have two options:

  1. One of the people must leave or
  2. One or both of the people must accept, truly accept, subordination to your demands and the fact he/she/they will have no control over the situation or the other person.
Beware: it is rare for people to be comfortable and truly accept a situation they cannot control. It is also rare for people to exercise full control over themselves when they know they will never be able to work in harmony with and are conflicted with another person. Human nature - actually, the human ego - places strong demands around locus of control and sphere of influence. People are uncomfortable when they are in conflict with others and doubly uncomfortable when they know they have no or little ability to change that situation.
 
Yes, I know, people can change. So, there is always a possibility the two conflicting people may get along some day. However, when people are really dug in against one another that's a sucker's bet. That's a very-low-probability-of-winning bet.
 
So, working to cause two die-hard people in conflict to change their attitudes toward one another is the wrong approach.
 
Instead, when you think two people will never be able to work together in harmony:
  1. Communicate your perspective of that situation to both of them...might as well sit the two of them down and talk to both at the same time...that will let them know you are not playing favourites and it will ensure both hear/witness the same message
  2. Obtain their agreement that your perspective is accurate...if one or both argue against your perspective then that could be a sign there could be hope for improvement...or it could be a really bad sign [you will have to use your judgement]
  3. Present the two options described above, telling both people you will use their input then make your decision [i.e., you will make a Consultative Decision after each of them has had an opportunity to provide their perspectives]
  4. Ask for their preferences...repeat the request at least twice so they understand you are serious
  5. Part company...if either person requests more discussion then make it clear that will only happen if the other person is present...you want full communication
  6. Make your decision, i.e., either (1) one goes or (2) both stay and agree to work within the boundaries you set
  7. Communicate your decision to both...whether one person remains or both people remain, explain your boundaries in writing so that person [those people] know exactly your expectations and how you will address future situations of this nature
  8. Monitor their actions and enforce your boundaries
This approach has several benefits. As examples - 
  1. You cannot ignore situations where people are never going to work in harmony...sooner or later these situations get worse and cost much time and money
  2. Situations where people are never going to work in harmony affect everyone and mess up your business culture...people expect leaders to address and resolve these sorts of situations...the best employees leave when they see these situations linger and fester
  3. In the event your perception is wrong - in the event the situation is not really a never going to work in harmony situation - the two people may see the light, get their egos under control, and clean up their acts...in which case the problem will be solved in a win-win-win way and everyone can walk away feeling good about themselves and the other people
  4. The process you develop can be used to nip these situations in the bud if they arise in the future
 
 
 

Thought Tweet #854

by Rick Baker
On Oct 24, 2013

Thought Tweet #854 If you don't know you influence people then chances are good you're observing negatives and confused why.

 

The Thinking  Behind The Tweet

We can know ourselves.

We can know we influence other people.

We can know we can influence the way we influence other people.

So, we can choose how we want to influence other people.

If we do not so choose then we must accept the consequences of our influence on others...no matter how negative and confusing they will be.

Tags:

Influencing | Thought Tweets

Thought Tweet #853.5

by Rick Baker
On Oct 23, 2013

Thought Tweet #853.5 If you cannot be interested at least be interesting.

 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Seek first to be interested and to understand. If you cannot handle that maybe you can compensate by being entertaining...or, at least, interesting.

Stephen Covey - Seek First To Understand.

Perhaps people will warm up to you and remember you if you seek first to understand them?

That's consistent with Dale Carnegie's teaching.

If you cannot bring yourself to be truly interested in understanding other people then your opportunities for influencing them drop significantly. You may be able to squeeze in some opportunities by:

  • being interesting...attention-getting, magnetic...those sorts of things
  • being entertaining...like a motivational speaker or a magician or a clown act

Tags:

Communication: Improving Communication | Influencing | Thought Tweets

Copyright © 2012. W.F.C (Rick) Baker. All Rights Reserved.