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Name of author Rick Baker, P.Eng.

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Seek First To Understand People Who Do Not Understand Themselves

by Rick Baker
On Dec 30, 2013

Yes, Covey taught Seek First To Understand.

Good advice!

But, as you follow that advice, do not be confused. In general, people do not understand themselves. Well, they sort of understand themselves...but they really do not understand themselves. The have vague notions about their goals, their deepest desires, their talents & strengths, and many other fundamentally-important things.

You don't agree...

OK.

Prove it.

Prove you understand yourself...

  • State your definite purpose in life...your vivid vision
  • State your personal values
  • State the unique value proposition you bring to the workplace
  • State the things you will do that other people will not do
  • State what "Integrity" means to you and how you illustrate it
  • State how you go about "Influencing" people
  • State how you go about building a trusting relationship
  • State the things people can rely on you to do 100% of the time
These are just some of the areas where people show others, day after day, they have only a vague understanding of themselves.
 
Why?
 
Why do people only have a vague understanding of themselves?
 
Here are a few of the main reasons:
  • Most people think things like, "I don't have time" and "I'm too busy". Even worse, they say these things out loud and share them with other people. With these thoughts and words they proclaim their limitations to the world and they brainwash themselves into hectic lives...lives far too hectic for introspection and self-knowledge.
  • Most people have not been taught how to understand themselves. When in school, most people studied math, language, science, history, etc. Most people did not study the mechanisms of self-monitoring, self-analysis, self-knowledge, etc. 
  • Many, if not most, people choose mind-numbing entertainment over thinking

Yes - Seek First To Understand.

And, start with self.

Thought Tweet #900

by Rick Baker
On Dec 27, 2013

Thought Tweet #900 The more you hurry the more the Opportunities pass you by.

 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Many people have a self-image of a too-busy person..."I am too busy to do that!

When Opportunities seek out people to visit, they pretty much avoid all these too-busy people.

Opportunities prefer to visit with people who have some time to spend with them, some time to get to understand them, some time to hold their hands and walk with them....then run with them.

"People need to go through different processes to get to the same place."

by Rick Baker
On Dec 27, 2013

I say Business Contains Only 3 Things: People, Process, & Situations.

My friend Roelf says, "People need to go through different processes to get to the same place."

Roelf's wisdom certainly resonates with me. 

When we arrive in Situations we bring with us our People-stuff. We bring our Self-Image, Our Self-Esteem, and Our Mental Attitude. Here's a link to more on that topic. We bring much more. We bring what we are.  Here's a link to more thoughts on what we bring

When you and I meet in a Situation I bring my package of People-stuff and you bring your package of People-stuff. Each package contains the results of the experiences we have had: our people experiences, our process experiences, & our situation experiences, which contain a heavy flavour of People and Process.

Here's the way I picture it...

Just before we meet in a Situation we each have our Packages of People & Process stuff:

 

 

When we meet in a Situation our Packages may have much in common: 

Or our Packages may have very little in common:

 

Regardless of the things we have in common, there is much difference. We are unique People with, at best, some things in common. 

Let's consider personal comfort, an extremely important ingredient for constructive change.

Say we are together in a Situation. You may be very comfortable in it while I may be somewhat comfortable or possibly very uncomfortable.

Situations are snapshots in time. We have a Situation and things continuously happen to change it. Situations are fluid and rapidly changing...like a series of picture frames in a movie film. Except, in real-life Situations a change in each frame influences the contents of next frame. Even little things can create significant/material changes in Situations.

The little thing could be a little piece of Process...for example, the injection of an agenda into a meeting that had no agenda. Visualize a Situation where that happens. Would you be comfortable with the injection of an agenda into a meeting that had always been agenda-free? Assume you are and I am not...or vice-versa. The injection of a process, an agenda, just changed one person's comfort level. The effect is: at least one person has changed. And that could be a huge change, capable of turning the Situation upside-down.

When you and I arrive in a Situation we bring different packages. We cannot assume My Package and Your Package are equally comfortable with the Situation, or equally interested in the Situation, or having the same thoughts about the Situation, or sharing similar feelings or emotions in the Situation. If we assume these things then we may be totally disconnected with one another and not even know it.

If we assume our Packages are the same then we may take the wrong next step...miscommunicating, misinterpreting, misunderstanding, and missing the fact"People need to go through different processes to get to the same place."

If we assume our \packages are the same then we will miss the facts:

People need to go through different processes to get to the next place.

People need to go through different processes to get to the next Situation.

People need to go through different processes to get to the desired-outcome Situation.

If we miss these facts then we will have little ability to help People achieve their goals.

If we miss these facts then we will have little ability to influence People toward success.

Thought Tweet #882

by Rick Baker
On Dec 3, 2013

Thought Tweet #882 I am working on a simple definition of "Intelligence"...see The Thinking Behind The Tweet #882 at www.rickbaker.ca 

 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Intelligence  def'n:

The quality and amount of information we have stored in and can retrieve from our brains...as measured by others' perceptions of our actions.

Details...

Human Intelligence has IQ and EQ content and implications.

Human Intelligence does not exist until it is perceived by others.

People perceive my or your Intelligence [or lack of it] in real-time, under their time schedule. 

When it comes to Intelligence, what we say and otherwise do is the substance. What we think is not.

What we think - that's the stuff around our Knowledge or even better around our Wisdom [which is most-valuable Knowledge].

 

What do you think? Do you have a Comment?

Tags:

Definitions - Spirited Words Defined | Thinking as in Think and Grow Rich | Thought Tweets

Take Steps Toward 'Change Leadership'

by Rick Baker
On Nov 15, 2013

If you want to lead change and influence others to help you achieve the success you desire, consider these things:

  • Your Intelligence - This is a tough one! How can you be objective? How can you know whether or not you have the intelligence required to be a successful leader? Here's a few suggestions: (1) view this as a life-long process, work at self-knowledge, & figure out how to measure accurately [then you will be able to apply these things to understanding others], (2) ask for input from others then consider it from different perspectives [as examples, subjectively and objectively], (3) have at least one mentor...intelligence is not fixed - it is something you can expand if you work at it.
  • Your Self-Control - There are two dimensions: (1) short-term control over emotions, feelings, thoughts, & actions and (2) 'Grit', the ability to control thoughts and actions so they align with personal Values, Vision, Rules, & Goals. 'Grit', as defined here, is the thing in you that determines whether or not you can illustrate Integrity to others and whether or not you have the conviction required to achieve your Desires.
  • Your Emotions - Another tough one! Start by defining Emotions and how they differ from feelings, moods, and other mind states. Seek help from others who can observe you in a variety of Situations: under heavy workload, under stress, under assault [for example, while being criticized]. Assessments can help identify your weaknesses. Major weaknesses must be corrected. If they are not you will violate sacred things like Integrity and your stated Values...violations will destroy followers' Trust in a blink. 
  • Your Actions - and the Actions you must do to deliver value, lead others, inspire others, influence others, and help others. 
 
Dedicate at least one full, uninterrupted day each year to measure your progress. 
 
When you do this you will observe progress steps that look something like this...
 

Thought Tweet #860.5

by Rick Baker
On Nov 1, 2013

Thought Tweet #860.5 You wanna lead, you gotta read.

 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

The Pharaohs and high priests of ancient Egypt knew that.

Abe Lincoln knew it...

"A capacity, a taste for reading, gives access to whatever has already been discovered by others. It is the key, to the already solved problems. And not only so. It gives a relish, a facility, for successfully pursuing the (yet) unsolved ones."

"All I have learned, I learned from books.

You should know it too.

 

Copyright © 2012. W.F.C (Rick) Baker. All Rights Reserved.