Rick Baker Thought Posts
Left Menu Space Holder

About the author

Name of author Rick Baker, P.Eng.

E-mail me Send mail
Follow me LinkedIn Twitter

Search

Calendar

<<  November 2024  >>
MoTuWeThFrSaSu
28293031123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
2526272829301
2345678

View posts in large calendar

Recent Comments

Comment RSS

Honesty and the Other Person's Feelings

by Rick Baker
On Apr 10, 2017

As a child I was admonished to be respectful and take care not to hurt other people’s feelings. 

In general, that’s OK advice. Regardless, I have found it fails as a general rule.

Yes, sometimes our honesty hurts other people. Children often make innocent comments that adults find inappropriate. For example, children notice and comment on differences in people’s appearance and that can be very embarrassing for adults, especially parents. So, with fear of hurting other people’s feelings in mind, early in life many of us learn to place our natural [accurate and innocent] thoughts on hold and keep them to ourselves. Later, as we become less child-like [and more adult-like] we learn to adjust our communication in ways that conceal our true thoughts and replace them with adult-acceptable messages. 

Now, as this 21st Century continues to unfold, it seems feelings are reigning near supreme. 

Are feelings going to undermine honesty?

Considering other people’s feelings: 

Where should lines be drawn between honest expression of thought and suppression of expression? 

Are we doing a good enough job teaching children they and other people have the ability to control their reactions to other people’s words? In fact, with some education and effort each of us can learn self-control, including control over our feelings…are we teaching that to our children?

Are we providing education that opens minds to thickening skin?

getting at the Maybe rut

by Rick Baker
On Apr 6, 2017

Somewhere between the Pessimists and the Optimists there is a group of people who live lives of Maybe.  

Procrastinators are in this group...sooner or later they may get around to starting, doing and finishing stuff. Procrastinators live lives of Maybe - maybe that bad thing will happen if I do this? Maybe it won't? Not sure. Uncertainty. If you are a salesperson you will agree many prospective clients fall into this group. They would rather say "call me back" than "no". 

Sometimes, Maybe-people believe it is better to say Maybe than No because No tends to hurt others' feelings. 

And, of course, there are those who simply have the habit of being indecisive: they make up the majority of this Maybe group of people.

It seems to me, the major cause of indecision is lack of self-confidence. There are other causes for indecision, as examples - distraction, lack of interest and lack of consideration for other people's interests. However, if we spent enough time digging we would likely find a lack of self-confidence close to the roots of all these other causes.

The Effects of Maybe:

  • Maybe eats up time. When their time gets eaten up, Maybe-people think they don't have enough time. Of course that's wrong-thinking. Regardless, of course, it sours the ability of Maybe-people to accomplish constructive things. I call this, getting in the Maybe rut
  • Maybe generates anxiety and stress. These things permeate Maybe-minds and eat up space for logical thinking. This is another debilitating aspect of the Maybe rut. 
  • Maybe-people are allergic to peace of mind. It's like Maybe coats their minds in Teflon...when peace of mind tries to visit it is deflected and doomed to never become comfortable enough to establish roots. 

Tags:

Optimism & Pessimism | Personalities @ Work

Stepping On, Stepping Aside, & Stepping Up

by Rick Baker
On Apr 3, 2017

"Whenever we focus on what others need to do we give away our power and let ourselves off the hook."

John Izzo

'Stepping Up', (2012)

While this quote is tied to standing back and expecting others to step up to create positive change, it has some very interesting implications in the area of criticizing others' performance.  

One conclusion: We will be far better off if we learn to step aside and analyze our own actions and motives before we criticize other people’s actions and motives. 

So this John Izzo quote has value in two areas.

When we face problems we can: 

  1. step up rather than step aside and
  2. step up rather than step on other people. 

At least every once in a while, each one of us feels the urge to criticize other people's words, actions and motives. In a sense, we feel the urge to step on other people. Before we step on others, we ought to take a breath, take a time out, step aside, and think about our own motives and actions.  If we cannot do this then we must understand our criticism of others is probably not well grounded. It is biased. It is flippant. It is reactive. It is poorly thought out. 

Also, if we cannot step aside and hold back on criticizing others when they are doing the best they can then we likely lack the ability to step up and do things beyond the things we are currently doing.  And, even if we do have the ability to step up our motives will likely be flawed.  Rarely do flawed motives result in successful stepping up

So -

Stepping aside is better than stepping on and stepping up is better than stepping aside

If we step on we are stepping toward failure.

If we step aside we are in a position to watch success.

If we step up we are stepping toward success.

Self-knowledge unlocks success. 

Tags:

Criticism: Constructive Criticism is an Oxymoron | Leaders' Thoughts

Elegant solutions - serving business leaders.

by Rick Baker
On Mar 30, 2017

Business leaders are opportunity-seekers and problem-solvers.

Business leaders need help so they can take on ever-bigger opportunities and solve ever-bigger problems.

Business leaders need people who 'get it' and can deliver 'elegant solutions'.

Elegant Solutions are:

  • Tasteful
  • Graceful
  • Attractive
  • Simple
  • Clear

Why Tasteful?   

  • One reason - broader appeal

Why Graceful?   

  • One reason - the steps flow and make sense

Why Attractive?  

Why Simple?

Why Clear?

Tags:

Communication: Improving Communication | Seeking Simple! | Solutions & Opportunities

Building Self-confidence

by Rick Baker
On Mar 28, 2017

A strong desire to achieve promotes self-confidence.

Positive self-image and high self-esteem promote self-confidence. 

Sense of purpose and goals promote self-confidence. 

A commitment to take action promotes self-confidence. 

Affirmations promote self-confidence. 

Strong personal values for fair play promote self-confidence. 

Positive thinking, especially about other people, promote self-confidence.

Willingness to serve others promotes self-confidence.   

Truthfulness promotes self-confidence.

A keen sense of justice promotes self-confidence. 

'Planning your work and working your plan' - that also promotes self-confidence. 

These are some of the important messages Napoleon Hill embedded in his Self-confidence Formula. Hill understood self-confidence is a fragile thing...easily disrupted...time-consuming to build...energy-consuming to hold fast. 

Self-confidence is a habit. It is a good habit. 

Good habits don't just happen. Good habits require planning. Good habits require ongoing work. 

Self-Improvement happens when talent-laden mind-sets come to the aid of skill-sets.

by Rick Baker
On Mar 28, 2017

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Some people embrace life-long learning. Those people become the best leaders. They tend to understand their talents & strengths. They tend to apply their brainpower to focused work-tasks. That allows them to build skill-sets and master work-tasks. They take talent to task. They bolster that talent with knowledge, thinking, and practised-skills.

Copyright © 2012. W.F.C (Rick) Baker. All Rights Reserved.