Figuring other people out…now there’s a challenge.

 

There is much to consider.

 

The task is a worthwhile one: but, where to start?

 

2 suggestions on how to prepare for doing a better job of understanding other people:

1. Riders, Elephants, & Their Paths: Dr. Jonathan Haidt’s metaphor
   • The Rider: the logical part of us that struggles to control how we think and how we act
   • The Elephant: the emotional part of us that tends to do whatever it wants
   • The Path: the situation, which will alter Rider-Elephant action
2. Primary and Secondary Factors that Influence How People Think: Dr. David J. Leiberman
   • Primary Factors:
     • Self-esteem…the person’s view of self-worthiness
     • Confidence…how the person feels about the task/situation at hand
     • Level of Interest…does the person have a vested interest, what's at stake
   • Secondary Factors:
     • Effort...how much emotional, physical, financial work must the person do
     • Justification...the person’s rationalization
     • Beliefs...the person’s beliefs, whether or not those beliefs are true/accurate
     • Mood…the person’s frame of mind

Related Thought Post: Creating Positive Change: Riders, their Elephants, & their Paths.

 

 

Footnotes:
Link to Dr. Jonathan Haidt.
Link to Dr. David J. Lieberman.

During a conversation last Friday, we were discussing personal values and my friend said something like, “Well, they bring their values with them”.

 

This triggered a number of thoughts, which were important to me but not a good fit for the conversation last Friday. So, I promised [myself] I would write them down later…later is today.

 

Yes – people do bring their personal values with them. If we work at it then we can get a sense of other-people’s-values by observing those other people. After we have observed people we make decisions about their character.

 

According to experts, this assessment of character can happen very, very quickly. And, we do not need to rely on experts alone. We know this from firsthand experiences. Every once in a while we get immediate ‘bad vibes’, bad ‘gut feel’, when we meet someone. At the other extreme, we find other people ‘magnetic’. These positive and negative feelings contribute to our assessment of other people’s character. As we decide on character we make assumptions about the underlying personal values that create character.

 

Yes – people do bring their personal values with them.

 

But – we must understand more if we are to succeed in dealing with other people.

 

As we observe and make decisions about people’s character and personal valueswe should not lose track of:

• Many people will not have taken the time to understand their own values/character
• For those who have worked at it, their self-analysis will be skewed by their bias:
  • Often people look at themselves through rose-coloured glasses
  • People rarely wear those glasses when they observe other people
• Few people get into open discussions of values and character
• When the stakes are high, personal values can take a back seat to personal needs
• Situations can cause personal values to take a back seat, particularly:
  • When a person is under extreme stress
  • When a person is subjected to a powerful yet dysfunctional leader
  • When a person is surrounded by ‘mob thinking’
• Situations can help people use their personal values to create Value for other people
  • When people are encouraged to use their Strengths [talents, knowledge, skills]
  • When people are comfortable with a powerful Values-grounded leader
  • When people work in a harmonious environment, with success-orientation

Bottom line: Corporate Culture is a process under the leader’s control…

 

 

Link to some thoughts about V-C-C-V.