Thought Tweet #737 Objective, well-intentioned, well-delivered criticism will still gnaw, rip, and tear thin skin.

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Criticism will always gnaw, rip, and tear at thin skin. That is a given. The only question is: how will the thin-skinned person react as the thin skin rips and tears? The natural reactions are fight & flight...aggression & avoidance. 

And, of importance – will ‘motivation’ get dragged into the bloody discussion after the ripping and tearing of thin skin? Sometimes it will. More often the thought will be there, but it will be unspoken. And, as they say, “It's the thought that counts.” I have strong views on ‘motivation’, and my strong views contain intolerance of those who blame others for the failures or the lack of motivation. Bosses have a tough enough job without having to bear the burden of every subordinate’s ‘motivation’.

For the sake of change and innovation, I hope you can.

For the sake of future Canadian generations, I hope you can.

For your piece of mind, I hope you can.

I have written often - Constructive Criticism is an Oxymoron [99.44% of the time].

To be clear...

I mean that as an observation. I do not mean that as a moral or philosophical judgment against constructive criticism or a condemnation of criticism in general. It is simply an observation. 

Now...if I was inclined to make a moral or philosophical judgment then:

Criticism is needed and an environment where it can and does happen should be promoted and appreciated. When applied with wisdom and sincerity, criticism should always be received well.

You should have thick skin…criticism only injures you when you allow it to. Even offensively-applied criticism does not have to injure you. It is your choice. If you have thick skin and a thin skull then you know this to be true.

For other people, criticism can be offensive. That's their shortfall...you do not have to be offended by criticism. You can choose to not be offended. You have thick skin...or you can make some character adjustments so you have thick skin. Thick skin provides you the ability to make that sort of choice.

Indeed, criticism cannot be done in a willy-nilly, free-for-all way. Nobody should deliver criticism that way. You are on very thin ice when you choose the targets of your criticism poorly...for example, when you choose to criticize The Boss. That's just common sense. So, inject wisdom before you prescribe criticism.

And, Criticism needs to be bounded. Criticism is best when it is applied in small doses. Be concise. There are times and places for criticism. Be selective. Emotions should be under control when criticism is delivered. Be respectful.

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Thick Skin: if you prick me, I do not bleed

Thin Skull: if you prick me, I think before I do

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Here's an idea...call it a Thick-Skin-Thin-Skull suggestion...

The next time you feel inclined to criticize someone take the time to write it out on a piece of paper. Then get another piece of paper and write out a criticism of yourself. Compare the two. Make sure they are about equally-important items and are of equivalent length, level of detail, wording/style and tone.

Then make a choice: 

1. present both of them to the person you wish to criticize or
2. tear them both up and move on to some other activity.

Thought Tweet #726 Like Beauty, Fairness is in the eye of the beholder.

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Fairness - an admirable motive...but, one that has a really difficult time surviving both delivery and receipt.

Fairness - a thing that tends to be torn between biased perspectives.

The rest of the world will treat me unfairly...OK...I will live with that.

I will treat others unfairly...OK...I will live with that too.