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Name of author Rick Baker, P.Eng.

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SITUATIONS, Bad Habit Reactions, Good Habit Reactions

by Rick Baker
On Aug 26, 2013

Workplaces provide a range of situations rich with ripe emotions.

Neil Fiore, in his book 'The NOW habit at Work' (2010), provided an interesting explanation of how Initial Thoughts produce natural Reactions and how people can take Corrective Actions to remedy those Reactions.

Since People Do Only 3 Things: Good Habits, Bad Habits, & New Things it makes sense to reframe Initial Thoughts & Reactions and Corrective Actions in terms of Bad Habits (Initial Reactions & Reactions) and New Things to do (Corrective Actions, which if repeated successfully over a period of time can become Good Habits).

Here's a reframed look at the relationship between your initial thoughts and the reactions they produce:...and corrective actions

When your initial thought is one of danger or fear, this Bad Habit can bring you stress. Your natural corrective action is to seek safety. The Good Habit you must develop to overcome this Bad Habit is the ability to accurately identify whether or not your sense of danger and your fear emotion are based in reality. If you find you have a Bad Habit of overreacting then you need to develop the Good Habit of taking the time to do a better job of analyzing situations. You need to anticipate tough situations and learn and practice how to handle them. You need to bolster your self-confidence.

When your initial thought is one of indecision or passivity, this Bad Habit can bring you procrastination. The Good Habit you must develop to overcome this Bad Habit is adjusting your mindset to think in terms of options, choices, and empowerment. To get this done you can develop a way of investigating the root cause of your indecision or passivity and resolve that root cause. Or, better still, don't get tied up worrying about the cause - just give the situation a bit of thought then take the best action you can think of. Understand you always have the ability to act.

When your initial reaction is one of self-doubt and self-criticism, this Bad Habit can bring you the feeling of being overwhelmed. The Good Habit you must develop to overcome this Bad Habit is the ability to focus your thoughts on tasks. Set small goals. Quickly, take the first baby-task step toward that small goal. Celebrate small achievements.

When your initial reaction is to think about the past or the future, this Bad Habit can bring you anxiety. The Good Habit you must develop to overcome this Bad Habit is the ability to get present. You cannot change the past; you cannot predict the future; you can adjust how you think about the present and you can decide your next action.

Thought Tweet 809.5

by Rick Baker
On Aug 22, 2013

Thought Tweet #809.5 How do you know people are uncomfortable? How do you react when they are uncomfortable?

 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

In my former business life, on occasion, I knew people were uncomfortable...mostly because I was the source of their discomfort. Sometimes I recognized people were in discomfort because they complained about some personal issue caused by something outside of work.

Much of the time I didn't recognize people were in discomfort. That was what happened because I don't have an empathy bone in my body (I've been assessed) and I did nothing to offset that lack of natural empathy.

So, without a conscious effort to better understand people's feelings, in general, I did little to react to let alone relieve other people's discomfort. In fact, I expanded their discomfort.

That was then and this is now.

Tags:

Change: Creating Positive Change | Emotions & Feelings @ Work | Thought Tweets

Thought Tweet #808.5

by Rick Baker
On Aug 21, 2013

Thought Tweet #808.5 When misery enjoys company people don't accomplish constructive things.

 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Empathy - is it the ability to feel what someone else feels?

Or - is it the ability to understand what other people are feeling?

It seems to me Sympathy is the word for sharing feelings while Empathy is the word for understanding another person's feelings.

Does it make a difference? Yes - people may not share feelings yet be quite capable of understanding them. People may share feelings and do it so intensely they exacerbate the feelings - misery loves company. When misery enjoys company people don't accomplish constructive things. When company understands misery there is an opportunity for constructive, comfortable change.

Thought Tweet #807.5

by Rick Baker
On Aug 20, 2013

Thought Tweet #807.5 Anger is better than frustration because it contains some belief/optimism you can control the situation.

 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

When we feel we cannot control a situation, it causes much discomfort. Frustration is a gnawing, spirit-killing feeling that often expands beyond a feeling to become a mood....an unpleasant mood.

Tags:

Business Contains Only 3 Things | Emotions & Feelings @ Work | Thought Tweets

Thought Tweet #806

by Rick Baker
On Aug 19, 2013

Thought Tweet #806 When we look outward and feel things are beyond our control it is most difficult to look inward and muster self-control.


The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Some situations seem to be beyond our control. In fact, some situations are beyond our control. Other situations just appear to be beyond our control. Regardless, really beyond our control or appearing beyond our control - these are the situations that put our self-control to the toughest test. When our locus of control is tested, so is our self-control. We do better when we anticipate these situations and prepare, in our minds, for them. 


Tags:

Business Contains Only 3 Things | Emotions & Feelings @ Work | Thought Tweets

Thought Tweet #803

by Rick Baker
On Aug 14, 2013

Thought Tweet #803 It takes two to tug-of-war...unless, of course, you choose to battle people in your head. 

 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

It takes two to tango; it takes two to tangle; it takes two to tug-of-war.

And, more often than not, the two must bring an excess of emotion to escalate the situation.

***

Sometimes it only takes one to tango, tangle, or tug-of-war. We all are quite capable of dancing with and fighting with imaginary foes in our heads.

Tags:

Change: Creating Positive Change | Emotions & Feelings @ Work | Humour | Thought Tweets

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