Life is states of mind.

Life is a relentless stream of states of mind. Business life is a relentless stream of states of mind. States of mind cover a huge range: some pure ecstasy; some pure agony. States of mind can change quickly and radically. 

Some people maintain ‘even keel’ mind states as their lives unfold…rarely, if ever, experiencing the ecstasy or the agony…only experiencing moderate states of mind.

Some people’s mind states are like never-ending roller-coaster rides…series of ups and downs…sideways jerks and irrational re-directions…lots of noise and lots of stomach churning.

Most people experience periods of ‘comfortable’ mind states intermingled with periods of extreme positive mind states and periods of extreme negative mind states.

Few people understand they possess the power to alter their mind-state habits.

Even fewer people do what it takes to use that power to choose their mind-state habits then do the hard work required to build the mind-state habits they have chosen.

That said...

What mind states have you chosen? 

My friend Lorie Saxby taught me about the 7 pre-frontal cortex activities known as Executive Brainsmarts:

1. Focus, 
2. Initiate, 
3. Plan, 
4. Organize, 
5. Shift, 
6. Monitor, and 
7. Regulate.

Focus is at the beginning of the list. Lorie and I created a definition for Focus that fits Spirited Leaders' philosophies, i.e., 

Focus def'n - to control one’s attention and thoughts then actions to align with goals [this definition developed with Lorie Saxby PhD].

I see you struggle with Focusing.

I know you understand the merits that Focus brings. I know you want to Focus. And, I know you work at Focusing. Yet, you struggle with Focusing and those struggles consume much of your energy.

You talk about your struggles. It seems things need to be 'a certain way' before you can Focus. And it seems that timing must be 'just right" before you can Focus. And, it seems your best Focus plans can be quickly side-tracked by interruptions, disturbances, and even the smallest of day-to-day problems.

I'd like to help you build Focus skill. I'd like to have the key that would free up your ability to Focus. I'd like to be able to package my message simply, clearly, and in a way that encourages you.

However, I don't think there is a magic formula for Focusing. I think the ability to Focus can be a learned skill and, clearly, some people have to work much more diligently than others to improve at Focusing. To develop skill at Focusing (or any other skill), belief is a powerful starting point. Even better - a reality check, which accepts the current situation coupled with belief that things can and will improve...that's a good starting point. 

Sure, we can be distracted or negative but let's remember we have these other two choices: being there and being positive.

If you are not naturally inclined to ‘be there’ and ‘be positive’ it will take some time and effort to adjust your mindset into those zones. 

Being There: It is easier to 'be there' when you are curious, tolerant, and truly interested in other people.

Being Positive: It is easier to 'be positive' when you are genetically predisposed toward optimism, hopeful about the future, and creative enough to envision alternatives and possibilities.

Perhaps, you are not at this time blessed with any of these traits.

Regardless, you can become an expert at 'being there' and 'being positive'.

Yes, any normal human being can become an expert at 'being there' and 'being positive'. It will, of course, require some effort. It will require some thought. It will require some education - ideally, self-education over a patient period of time. In addition, it will require a desire to grow and excel as a person. And, a good sense of humour will help you along the way.

There is no perfect approach to developing the abilities to 'be there' and 'be present'. These abilities are built over time, by trial and error, and you will make missteps along the way.

It seems to me one of the most important considerations is 'control'. To fully succeed you must understand and (wholeheartedly) believe you can control yourself. To fully succeed you must understand and (unconditionally) accept you cannot control other people or situations. The more you believe in and practice self-control the greater your ability to 'be there' and 'be positive'. The more you accept the limitations around your ability to control other people and situations the greater your ability to 'be there' and 'be positive'.

To be clear - I'm not talking about 'fundamentalist' perfectionism...or about taking huge leaps or about making major sacrifices.  I'm talking about taking some initial small steps aimed at 'experiencing the moment' as an observer. I'm talking about setting personal desires/goals aside for brief moments...long enough to listen to one other human being. I'm talking about imagining another possibility that isn't laced with annoyances (or doom-and-gloom thinking). I'm talking about trusting others. I'm talking about thinking between the lines of other people's comments/actions rather than jumping all over them and proving you are right and they are wrong.

PS: Now this all makes sense doesn't it? I mean, it makes sense at least until all that adrenalin and cortisol kicks in.