Rick Baker Thought Posts
Left Menu Space Holder

About the author

Name of author Rick Baker, P.Eng.

E-mail me Send mail
Follow me LinkedIn Twitter

Search

Calendar

<<  October 2024  >>
MoTuWeThFrSaSu
30123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031123
45678910

View posts in large calendar

Recent Comments

Comment RSS

Curiosity bolsters self-confidence.

by Rick Baker
On Aug 5, 2016

Curiosity opens the door to alternative realities: this is discovered when you are curious, when you ask questions and when you listen to other people's self-stories. 

When people see your [sincere] curiosity at play, most will reciprocate and share their realities with you - realities that are as true and accurate as yours...but, often, remarkably different than yours. 

There are, of course, other ways to learn about other people's realities. We live in the age of The Internet of Things and enormous volumes of information are available online. Consider Facebook and Twitter. These two online social media venues offer insight into people’s realities, or at least insight into the way they want to present their 'realities' to you in pictures and stories. 

To really get a full perspective on other people's realities it is better to interact with them face-to-face. Have real conversations. And to maximize those conversations, it is best to be curious and to ask good questions then observe and listen intently. 

Give people plenty of time to share their stories with you.

Curiosity is an innate talent. We all possess it. At least, at one time when we were young we certainly did.

Curiosity is also a learned skill. 

If life experiences have beaten curiosity out of you – don’t give up. Your curiosity can be resurrected. Your curiosity can also be enhanced so it will become a lifelong tool. Curiosity will help you understand other people in ‘your world’. Curiosity will allow you to understand how you differ from other people in very fundamental ways. And curiosity will help you understand why other people disagree with your views and sometimes refuse to embrace your views. As you gain understanding of the differences, the knowledge you gain will build your self-confidence. 

When you understand your perspectives differ from other people’s perspectives, you have the ability to construct your messages in ways that do not threaten other people’s perspectives. At the same time the messages embedded in your questions will help others understand your views. In effect, communication preparation – question preparation – is the key to building both self-confidence and personal relationships. Choose to deliver your viewpoints in ways that will be understood [questions] rather than in ways that will be poorly received [instructions]. When you develop skill in this area you will grow self-confidence. 

 

When it seems the left hand doesn't know what either hand is doing...

by Rick Baker
On Jul 11, 2016

Some situations seem to be beyond our control. 

In fact, some situations are beyond our control. Other situations just appear to be beyond our control. Regardless, 'really beyond our control' or 'apparently beyond our control' - these are the situations that inject high-stress into our lives and put our self-control to the toughest tests. 

When our locus of control is tested, so is our self-control. When stress levels are high our self-control faces its toughest challenges.

We do better when we anticipate these high-stress situations and prepare, our minds, for them. We do worse when we blindly wander into these high-stress situations and allow emotions to cloud our minds.

Today, we know, in the future we will face many stressful situations. Today, we know future stressful situations will press our fear buttons and our anger buttons...and a number of our other negative buttons. Today, we can plan actions that we believe will make the most out of bad situations.

Tomorrow, we can take those actions. Tomorrow, we can show improvements. Tomorrow, we can possess amazing self-control.

Tags:

Change: Creating Positive Change | Emotions & Feelings @ Work

Do you choose Action over Strategy?

by Rick Baker
On Jun 28, 2016

In recent conversations, it became clear to me that many people believe other people favour taking action over thinking about strategy. This viewpoint has been expressed as a criticism: the underlying argument being - people should spend more time thinking about strategy. 

Why?

Here’s one reason: People who strategize tend to take decisive and that ‘forethought’ combination promotes accurately-aimed action. So, strategy is the seedbed where both effectiveness and efficiency have the opportunity to grow.

Abe Lincoln knew this. He said, "Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe."

Regardless of the merits of strategic thinking, many people choose to take action over thinking about strategy. 

Why?

Before getting into the possibilities, “Why” is important because - if progressive changes are to be made, leaders must understand the ‘motivations’ behind people’s behavior. 

Obstinate-to-change behaviour is rooted in emotions. 

In the business environment, often, obstinate-to-change behaviour is rooted in negative emotions…fear-based emotions.

So, to understand what needs to be done to change behaviour it is essential to understand the underlying fears. 

I have found Napoleon Hill’s summary of fears to be the most helpful starting point for understanding fears. In his classic ‘Think and Grow Rich’ (first published in 1937), Hill defined the following 6 basic fears:

  1. Fear of Poverty
  2. Fear of Criticism
  3. Fear of Ill Health
  4. Fear of Loss of Love
  5. Fear of Old Age
  6. Fear of Death

What do you think? 

In business, which of these fears would cause a person to resist strategic thinking?

Strikes me that the first two – Fear of Poverty and Fear of Criticism – are the likely root causes. Both these fears are most-common: that’s why they are at the top of Hill’s list. Obviously, it will take some forethought and sensitivity in order to explore these limiting-fears. The effort will be well rewarded.

Everything that tastes good is bad for me while everything that tastes bad is good for me. What's that all about?

by Rick Baker
On May 10, 2016

If no change is made everything remains the same.

If no change is made everything remains the same…(it is so simple, when repeated it almost sounds sarcastic).

When I am 'off base', I know it. I know I need to change either the way I am thinking or the way I am behaving or both. Even when I don't make the effort to change, I know I ought to. And, I know if I don't change then chances are good the results I achieve in the future will be more or less the same as the results I have achieved in the past.

For me, this thinking is deep-rooted...like, knowing right from wrong...a powerful internal thought-force. [But not necessarily powerful enough to cause me to change...because, more often than not, bad habits are hard to break.]

I'm wondering - Am I unique on this?

Or - Is this part of the human condition?

If it is part of the human condition, why are we all so resistant to making changes?

And, why is it, everything that tastes good is bad for me while everything that tastes bad is good for me?

What kind of cruel trick is evolution playing here?

And brussel sprouts...don't get me started...I'm barely handling asparagus!

Reawakening 'Positive Controls' [Your Controls...self-control]

by Rick Baker
On May 5, 2016

Every human being wishes, to a degree, to control his or her environment, including the actions of other people.  

For some people, this need to control the outside world remains a lifetime desire. For others it shrinks with time. And sometimes the need to control others seems to almost completely disappear…repeated doses of criticism can do that to you.

For some people, this need to control gets out of control. We all know people whom we go out of our way to avoid because their dispositions are too critical or too instructive. 

And some of these people remain 'controllers' throughout their lives...not necessarily 'control freaks' but highly prone to provide feedback/opinions whether or not these communications are appropriately timed and placed or beneficial to anyone. This last type of person is the type I am writing about now: I mean I am writing about the people who have the habit of trying to control others by expressing opinions/criticisms at most [if not almost every] opportunity, without having the ability to observe or understand the real reactions others have to the repeated opinions/criticisms.

Let me break that last sentence down:

  • some people almost always try to control others,
  • these people regularly express their opinions and criticisms,
  • the people who receive these opinions and criticisms do not receive benefit, in fact the opposite is true, and 
  • the people who donate the opinions/criticisms are oblivious to the impact their communications have on the people who receive them.

For these people, self-monitoring and self-regulation are either fully dormant or mostly asleep. In other words, their positive controls are sleeping. There's no question - their self-monitoring and self-regulation abilities exist somewhere [because all normal human beings possess those abilities]. However, for these people, those abilities are not awake.

I have observed many of these people as they communicate with others. What is most intriguing, is the fact most of these people are virtually unaware of the impact they have on others. In fact, in many cases these people feel they are the victims of unwarranted criticism rather than the critics. At least, that is what their complaints lead you to believe. For example, they complain about their inability to inspire others to think and act properly.  They complain about the feedback they receive from their followers. But, based on my own experiences, I wonder if their complaints aren't more about failed a battles of wits than desires to inspire or lead. Regardless, some people carry on with excessive criticism and expression of opinions while others do everything possible to tune them out, avoid them, and think about other things.

A challenging situation arises when the overly critical person is the boss, holding a position of authority and power. In this situation, everyone's motivation suffers...and business performance and productivity suffers.  I see this situation so frequently that I wonder what has changed in the last 20 years. Have bosses become more overly-critical? Have employees become more sensitive to and intolerant of criticism? 

It's interesting to consider the situation from both the boss's perspective and the employee's perspective. The boss is generally frustrated, perhaps angry, and feeling under-appreciated. The employee is feeling abused, dis-respected and under-appreciated. It is interesting to note that both hold a victim's mindset. 

How do you remedy the situation? 

I believe an intervention of sorts is required. First, the boss must do some self-analysis and figure out how to become more comfortable with holding back on opinions and criticisms. That's easy to say, but, in practice it is very difficult to do. Most people, for one reason or another, are unable to make a change that large in the way they express themselves to other people. That's unfortunate because if the boss cannot change then the situation will never be remedied. 

(repeating)…if the boss is not able to change then the situation will not change…if no change is made everything remains the same…(it is so simple, when repeated it almost sounds sarcastic)  

The employee will have to make a change too. The employee will have to figure out how to remove sensitivity and resistance to criticism, which has probably become a habit [for self-protection].  This too can be a hard thing to do, especially if the boss and the employee have been operating in this criticism/resistance mode for a long period of time. 

While these changes are difficult, they can be achieved. When they are achieved, I call them Reawakening 'Positive Controls'.

When the going gets tough...

by Rick Baker
On Apr 28, 2016

When the going gets tough...

When you are all stressed out because the work ahead looks so daunting...

When your spirit is weakened...

...review your key talents and areas of strength. Think about your past successes and why & how you brought them about. Why was the success important to you? Does the work ahead share any common ground with the work already successfully completed?

...remember babies learn to walk one small step at a time. Think about major challenges you faced in the past and the small steps you took when you needed to get beyond the big obstacles. How did you select then focus on those small steps?

...take a short time out and countdown with 10 slow breaths. As your mind quietens, think about a time when doom and gloom scenarios seemed imminent then as time passed those problem scenarios did not happen.

Consider the possibility - this present problem too shall disappear in time.

Copyright © 2012. W.F.C (Rick) Baker. All Rights Reserved.