First, spend the time to understand your own ego.

 

And, as you do that recognize you will tend to see yourself as less egotistic and possessing higher self-esteem than other people. At least, that’s the way most people view themselves, as compared with others.

 

Next, work to limit your judging of other people.

 

When you observe what you believe to be excess ego…you may be judging too harshly? Your judgement may be inaccurate? You may be unskilled at judging accurately?

 

Or, your judgement may be accurate.

 

Assuming your judgement is accurate – assuming the other person is showing an excess of ego – recognize you are seeing the other person’s reaction to fear. You probably will not be able to guess the fear. And the person with the big ego may not understand the fear that is causing excessive ego.

 

Recognize – your logic will not remove another person’s ego problem.  Ego is not about logic. Ego is about emotion. And the underlying driver is fear.

 

Next, analyse the situation.

 

Situations have a major influence on people’s feelings and actions. The situation includes something that is triggering fear in the high-ego person. To the extent you can alter the situation you may be able to reduce/remove the thing that is triggering the fear.

 

However; the situational thing that is triggering the person’s fear could be very broad/general. For example, most people show signs of changed behaviour when they are under stress. And, the stressful thing could be as broad as ‘having to go to work...and be around people’.

 

Does the person have a large ego in all situations?

 

If so then do what you can to avoid the person…you will not change the person.

 

If the person only shows ‘large ego’ in certain situations then do what you can to avoid those situations or remove them. If, for example, you are the boss then you can influence the situation. You can influence when, where, and how interactions happen with the person.

 

Neither feed nor assault the other person’s ego. Be matter-of-fact, not emotional. Make sure your actions align with your personal values…not the other person’s.

 

Do not criticize or work to outmuscle the other person because that could push things into ‘bully territory’.

 

Diffuse the situation rather than escalate it.

Recently, the topic of “email bcc” cropped up.

 

That got me thinking…When & why do people use the email bcc option?

 

So, to get the facts, I sent out the following LinkedIn question to many of my LinkedIn friends.

 

When we send email – when should we use the BCC option?

 

I am curious to know when and why other folks use the BCC option when they send e-mail.

 

I know some folks use the BCC option to send 'mass' emails...ie, so the recipients do not see the names of other recipients.

 

I am interested in knowing - how else is “BCC” used?

 

To date, 30 of those friends have written to provide their views.

 

Here is a summary of what friends have told me:

1. Many people use the bcc option to protect the privacy of the email addresses of all participants. They are sending a mass email to a group of people and nobody gets to see any email address other than that of the sender. Everyone is treated the same.
2. Few people use the bcc option to entrap the poor devil who does not know anyone else is bcc’d…to make sure that person is in the dark, to embarrass that person, or to catch that person in a lie. However, there are some people who use bcc that way.
3. Some people use the bcc option to create a soft-paper trail…i.e., to protect themselves.
4. A few people use the bcc option to keep ‘important’ people such as their boss or their partner in the communication loop, without ‘complicating things’ for the email recipient.
5. A few people use the bcc option to bcc themselves. Some people have multiple email addresses because they are affiliated with more than one organization. Others have set up multiple email addresses – like, Rick1@, Rick2@, Rick3@, etc. – so they can automatically sort their outgoing email, much like one would use the Outlook folders to sort one’s email.
6. One person uses the bcc to educate another person…i.e., a mentor/mentee relationship.
7. Some people never use bcc when they email.

2 final thoughts…

• covert and negatively-directed uses of bcc should be discouraged…they violate the integrity of most business Values & Cultures [we encourage Open Communication and such bcc’s would not pass our tests]
• considering 6 Degrees of Separation – or is it less – it is unrealistic to assume one’s bcc’s will remain “b”