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by Rick Baker
On Jun 23, 2016
Some people believe I get too bogged down or is it tied up in words. Writing too much. Going into too much detail. Being too nitpicky about definitions.
No, probably that's not right. I probably should have said, most people think I get too bogged down/tied up in words.
I agree. What a shortcoming. I mean - considering my goal is to help people obtain their business goals, it would be tremendous if most people were saying, Wow - this fellow sure packages his messages well!
Clear.
Crisp.
Delivering accurate, quick & easy wisdom.
***
So - I've set a new challenge: I must learn to package my messages in ways that appeal to folks who want quick-reading/easy-reading and of course valuable messages. As I write this, I'm thinking fondly about Plucky & Pithy...a post from 2010 and Plucky & Pithy #2 a post from 2012.
***
People are adapting their reading: to address that, I should boil everyting down to bullet points, 3 at most:
- I get it. Just deliver a stitch in quick time, don't deliver nine.
- I get it. Too much cooking spoils the broth.
- I get it. This also applies to bakers: too much baking spoils the cake.
***
But, what about the common practice of setting company values, barely defining them, and missing the fact personal values are intimately linked with personal rules:
- How do I ignore that?
- How do I ease off on defining values?
- How do I ease off on explaining the power of deep-set rules reflecting deep-set personal values?
(Changing current habits is going to take some work and some time.)
***
As I work at Plucky & Pithy
Perhaps, the people who cannot live with details can offer helpful advice...
(And I'm OK if their advice is detailed.)
by Rick Baker
On Feb 24, 2016
Why do you deliver criticism?
How do you deliver criticism?
What criticism do you deliver?
I'm borrowing Simon Sinek's ‘Golden Circle' thinking here.
Criticism, in one shape or another, is a gift brought to us by Mother Nature. Animals guard their turf, their mates and their food and illustrate ‘cease and desist’ criticism when they feel their turf, mates or food [or is it, their possessions] are at risk. When we consider the way criticisms occur between creatures in Nature, it makes sense. It often appears primitive and harsh to us, however, we understand Why it is happening. Misquoting Darwin – in Nature, it’s about survival of the fittest. And, one of the first steps to survival is expressing displeasure when other animals invade your territory or threaten your possessions.
But, does that explain Why humans deliver criticism? Is it that simple? It seems to me that doesn’t go far enough to explain the Why behind people’s criticism of others [let alone criticism of self]. With people, there’s at least one other big factor at play – we call it ‘ego’. Each of us has an image/persona we want others to perceive when they think about us or interact with us. And that ‘ego-drive’ often causes us to express our different viewpoints to others…even when we know there can and likely will be negative repercussions.
To the extent our criticism is rooted in basic needs like the other creatures, we should make sure we have some level of self-control because survival of the fittest never described evolution…rather, evolution is about survival of the most adaptable. Evolution-theory, if it teaches us anything it teaches us we ought to adapt. So, we should at least give a little consideration to adapting the Why that sits at the roots of our need to criticize.
Moving beyond Why, on to How…
How do you deliver criticism? With intent? Unknowingly? Pre-planned? Impromptu? With logic? With emotion? With both? And, what reactions have you observed as you test your different approaches?
Finally, What criticism do you deliver? Do you only criticize actions that violate things that are sacred to you, your personal values, or your master rules? Or, are you indiscriminate? I mean, is criticism a daily free-for-all activity where anything and everything other people say or do or don’t say or don’t do fair game for your incessant nitpicking?
by Rick Baker
On Sep 3, 2015
Link to Part 1
Recently, my friend asked me, "How do you really hold someone accountable?"
While I have written about Accountability on a number of occasions, I have never been asked or answered that straightforward question. To begin my answer, I posted some ‘general’ thoughts in ‘Part 1’. Now, I’m posting some ‘specific’ suggestions.
1. Lead by example. As the leader, understand how you hold yourself accountable and ensure you are leading by example before working to improve followers’ accountability.
2. Ensure followers know WHY. Express your views clearly. Tell accountability stories and provide visual cues. For example, U.S. President Harry S. Truman felt accountability was so important he kept a sign on his desk in the Oval Office that read, “The buck stops here”. He wanted his followers to know he accepted ultimate responsibility for decisions…he wanted his followers to really hold themselves accountable.
3. Communicate a “Master Rule”. If you hold accountability very dearly – if accountability is one of the top 5 most important things you want your followers to embrace – then create a “Master Rule” to make your strong view crystal clear. You could, for example, borrow Harry S. Truman’s “The buck stops here”. Clearly, Truman wanted his followers to view that as one of his Master Rules. Tell stories to illustrate WHY you have chosen to have a Master Rule covering accountability.
4. Recruit with accountability in mind. Talk to job candidates about accountability. Share your stories. Ask job candidates if they have stories of accountability etched in their minds.
5. Use job descriptions as accountability tools. Ensure your Role Descriptions signal accountability messages. Role Descriptions should be clear and concise, covering:
- 5-7 Task Areas – with each Task Area described in a short phrase
- 5-7 Goals – one SMART Goal for each Task Area…aligned with department Goals & company Goals
- Communication – deliver formal feedback on performance vis-à-vis Goals, at least twice per year
6. Talk about accountability at every meeting. For example, select one department/company Goal for each meeting and have each follower commit to perform at least 1 specific action and report on that action at the next meeting. Follow up. As this meeting process is initiated, visit followers 1-on-1 in advance of the next meeting and ask about action taken. Explain WHY you completed your specific action items and HOW you will report them at the next meeting.
7. Address violations. Plan how you will address ‘accountability shortfalls’ because your followers will, from time to time, fail to complete actions as agreed. Address shortfalls immediately…help your followers understand you will not ignore accountability shortfalls. Escalate your feedback to 'corrective measures' if followers illustrate repeated ‘accountability shortfalls’.
Consider the above suggestions if you want your followers to really hold themselves accountable.
And, of most importance, hold yourself most accountable as you lead by example.
Link to Part 3
by Rick Baker
On Jul 20, 2015
First, let’s make sure we are on the same wavelength. By ‘profanity’, I mean offensive language. While ‘offensive’ is [of course] subjective and potentially debatable, I think most of us can agree to the following definition of ‘offensive words’: ‘Offensive Words’ are words we are very troubled to hear from the mouths of our 2- and 3-year old children and grandchildren. In fact, it was a discussion of a 3-year-old’s repetition of a ‘swear word’ that led to the writing of this Thought Post.
It seems to me we observe profanity in 5 forms:
- Expletives: the things people say when they are angry, frustrated, or in pain
- Humour: often tied to body parts and body functions
- Racism/Bigotry: malicious references to people who are different, including attempts at humour
- Religious references: these can overlap expletives [such as taking the Lord’s name in vain] and bigotry laced with intolerance for people of other religions
- Habit-speak: as examples - gang talk and passed on habits of family members
Now, I’ve explained what I mean by profanity…What do you think about it?
Specifically, how do you want people to speak at your workplace and what words, if any, should never be used in your workplace? What “Master Rule” applies at your workplace?
How do you or will you address violations of your rules that limit offensive language?
***
Some related thoughts and questions…
Other ways to describe profanity and expletives: blasphemy, curse, cuss, cussword, dirty word, swearword, four-letter word, obscenity, profanity, swear, vulgarism
How do you feel about consistency, do you ‘practice what you preach’? Do you choose to use words at work but choose not to use them in front of your 3-year-old relatives?
When you wallop your thumb with a hammer, what words spring from your lips? If you are not pleased with those 'automatic' words, how could you possibly break that deep-rooted habit?
When you are angry, do you climb up the ladder of increasingly-offensive language?
Do the people in your gang think it is cool to repeat, repeat, and repeat profanity?
In your workplace, is it OK to emphasize an important point by using a strategically-placed piece of profanity?
I have read that native North Americans knew no profanity until the Europeans arrived…I wonder if that is true.
Why has profanity gained so much ground in our mass-marketed entertainment...i.e., why is there so much profanity in our literature, our songs, and our movies?
Is swearing inversely proportional to intelligence? [i.e., The more the profanity the less the IQ & EQ?]
Why have so many 'bad words' been created for body parts and bodily functions? And, why are they considered ‘bad words’ while other descriptors are considered acceptable? So many acceptable descriptors are Latin-based it causes me to wonder how often the Latins used swear words. A quick on-line search suggests there were Latin profanities in the Roman heyday...isn't that disappointing!
What role has religion played in all of this? The 3rd of the Judeo-Christian 'Ten Commandments' says "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain". Clearly, profanity in some forms has existed for several millennia. People must have been using religious profanity in Moses' time. Were they also using other forms of profanity at that time?
by Rick Baker
On May 6, 2015
When Emotional work gets too heavy, we cry out for help.
Using the Transactional Analysis “Parent-Adult-Child Model”…and some facts-of-life thinking:
- when we are first born, we are helpless yet we have a built-in talent for crying out for help,
- we use that talent from the start…we cry out for help,
- we learn – crying out for help works…it’s a successful way to get attention,
- we learn more – crying out for help actually brings the help we desire…food, comfort, other essentials,
- we develop a habit…crying out for help,
- when we are toddlers we notice something very surprising…we notice the word “No” and all the body language that comes with the word “No”,
- we do not like that word “No”…it goes against our natural desires: food, comfort, curiosity, etc.,
- we resist the word “No”,
- we learn resistance can be futile, and
- we learn – all of us, to carrying degrees learn – how to adapt new behaviours that help us get around the word “No”.
A small sampling of the behaviours we use to get around the word “No”:
- we scream and scream until finally those No-sayers realize their best choice is giving in…when we grow up we may learn ‘Transactional Analysis’ people call that behaving like a child…and others call it crying out for help
- we learn what is known as ‘Adult Behaviour’…i.e., socially-recommended stuff…this includes concepts like compromise, patience, and empathy, all of which tend to delay our near-term gratification.
Most people cry out for help [at least, every once in a while].
Some people cry out for help frequently.
Some people cry out for help at work.
Some people, on their own, have little ability to control their crying out for help.
They need help.
Using the Child from transactional analysis…
When a Child meets another Child, the response to a cry out for help is a cry for help.
We see this in our workplaces…cries for help are exchanged and cries for help escalate.
These cry-for-help versus cry-for-help interactions:
- eat up energy…they are heavy Emotion work for all involved &
- provide little, if any, value to anyone…either in the immediate-term or the long-term.
So, cry-for-help versus cry-for-help interactions are Problems.
There are many strategies for getting around these cry-for-help versus cry-for-help problems.
One of the best strategies is – Plan & Apply Rules.
Rules, when set, communicated and applied properly, place limits on Emotional work. With a little knowledge and practice, Rules can significantly reduce Emotional work. When this happens, self-confidence grows. In this way, Rules are conduits for self-confidence growth.
Using the transactional analysis words, Rules help the Child to develop into an Adult.
Rules send signals that express the boundaries around rewards...be they good or be they bad. That's how Rules encourage us to perform Good Habits and help us explore New Things in order to change our Bad Habits into Good Habits.
Rules help us know when to march and when to fight. That was a lesson I learned [over time] from one of my early bosses. He said, on a number of occasions, “There is a time to march and a time to fight.” He recognized I was far too busy fighting to be marching…on a clear path let alone in time with a drummer. He knew I would fight myself out of a job.
So, he regularly reminded me there are times when marching is the best thing to do. This helped me keep my job and gain an appreciation of rules. [And, it planted the seeds that allowed me to adjust my approach, removing Bad Habits and replacing them with Good Habits…I view it as a life-long process….one worth working at continuously.]
At Spirited Leaders, marching rules have evolved into “Master Rules”. Leaders have a right to set “Master Rules”; however, we recognize some folks may really object to using those two words.
I never objected to the fact we need rules and order.
That isn’t to say I did not break the rules regularly and dispute the intelligence of certain rules. [I did that regularly, actually more often than my co-workers.] While I have resisted certain rules and cried for help in reaction to some rules and some people who delivered rules poorly, I have been comfortable with the fact rules exist and the fact rules serve a purpose.
Why all these personal comments about rules?
Because:
- Rules are often seen as "No"...just like the "No" we heard when we were infants,
- "No" messages can trigger emotions and emotions consume brain energy...and that's work, Emotional work,
- Emotional work is personal and each of us has to do some self-examination if we want to feel better and succeed more when we deal with other people, and
- if we see cry-for-help problems, and we will see them at our workplace, we need plan how to communicate more openly about them...and then, when the dust isn't swirling, we need to do that communication.
People are different; people are amazingly unique.
Yet - most people understand the need for rules. Anarchists do not. Fortunately, anarchists are few in number. We must not confuse normal human reactions with acts of anarchy. Most people resist rules - that's normal - a part of human nature. Rules remove, reduce, delay, or change rewards. That's why we resist rules. We are more prone to resist the rules that connect with our personal desires. We have an easier time accepting rules that do not conflict with our near-term desires.
Most people know we need rules.
Most people know, at the very least, workplace rules create order by defining boundaries. When they are at work, people gain comfort when they understand the boundaries. They gain most comfort when they buy into the rules. That may not happen instantaneously...it may be a process over time.
When people understand workplace boundaries they understand why, from time to time, they will hear and see “No”.
When people understand they will hear and see “No”, they will have choices around how they are going to react to “No”. When people know they have choices, they have time to plan those choices.
People can plan how they want to react to hearing “No” at work:
- they can respond with a cry for help [like the Child does], or
- they can respond with making demands [like a Parent does], or
- they can respond with Good Workplace Habits [like an Adult does], and
- they can develop a set of responses, customized Good Workplace Habits [like a Leader must do and a Leader must help others do].
Straightforward plans & guidance, mentoring, and coaching will help people build a set of responses in the Adult Zone.
by Rick Baker
On Mar 17, 2015
Talk's cheap. And, slogans like "When the going gets tough the tough get going" are at best mildly encouraging and at worst annoying.
While People generally want to succeed after the going gets tough, most People have never received 'use-able' advice on how to make that happen.
There are many strategies and systems for dealing with tough People and tough Situations [i.e., Situations involving, of course, People]. There are complex pictures and laborious processes for handling complaints, being assertive, and delivering crucial conversations. Most of these strategies and systems are too complicated, too convoluted, and far too 'artificial' for most people to embrace.
There is a better way...not just a better way, a better & simpler way...a way that is not contrived.
To cover challenges of tough People and tough Situations, Mark Weber taught me one of the most valuable lessons I have ever learned...
This area of business - dealing with tough People and tough Situations - is such an important facet of business [and life]...it warrants its own Master Rule.
Business Contains Only 3 Things and why not Seek Simple?
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