For most people, the feedback scales have been skewed in the direction of negativity and 'my perception is right and whatever you’re thinking and doing is wrong'. For most people, this skew has existed since…well, since before they can remember.
Few people, if any, have been recipients of mostly appreciations and positive opinions’. I have met none of them. If we do meet people who have received excessive ‘appreciations and positive feedback’ then perhaps we can feel confident they have put that positivity to good use and their skin is thick enough to take negative criticism.
The rest of us, the vast majority that have been the recipients of excessive negative feedback, need to be handled with more care.
I'm saying that with as objective a voice as I'm able to come up with. I am not making a moral judgement that 'more care' is the morally-correct thing to do, although for many people that will be the case. I am simply stating that we will achieve better results of we handle performance feedback with more care.
Note: for many years, I have argued in favour of Thick Skin. To the extent we thicken up our skin we do not need to be handled with such care. But, few people take the time and effort to thicken up their skin. Few people have mentors, coaches, or teachers to help them thicken up their skin. And, when it comes to feedback, thin-skinned people need to be handled with care.
Here’s my view: Based on my experience, well-packaged negative feedback will be received poorly by about 50% of people. Poorly-packaged negative feedback will be received poorly by 99% of people. When I say “received poorly” I mean it will not ‘construct’ the outcome the deliverer of the negative feedback desires. Perhaps, 1% of the time, negative/critical feedback can be constructive. This happens when well-packaged negative feedback meets a confident, high-self-image person. The other 99% of the time it cannot be constructive because it is either poorly delivered or poorly received.
That's why I say ‘Constructive Criticism is an Oxymoron’.
Constructive criticism is an oxymoron and negative feedback does not work because most people cannot deliver it properly and most people cannot receive it properly.
Why?
Most people's skin is too thin.
&
Most people's skulls are too thick.
Here's the picture...
