|
|
by Rick Baker
On Feb 8, 2016
Sure, we can be distracted or negative but let's remember we have these other two choices: being there and being positive.
If you are not naturally inclined to ‘be there’ and ‘be positive’ it will take some time and effort to adjust your mindset into those zones.
Being There: It is easier to 'be there' when you are curious, tolerant, and truly interested in other people.
Being Positive: It is easier to 'be positive' when you are genetically predisposed toward optimism, hopeful about the future, and creative enough to envision alternatives and possibilities.
Perhaps, you are not at this time blessed with any of these traits.
Regardless, you can become an expert at 'being there' and 'being positive'.
Yes, any normal human being can become an expert at 'being there' and 'being positive'. It will, of course, require some effort. It will require some thought. It will require some education - ideally, self-education over a patient period of time. In addition, it will require a desire to grow and excel as a person. And, a good sense of humour will help you along the way.
There is no perfect approach to developing the abilities to 'be there' and 'be present'. These abilities are built over time, by trial and error, and you will make missteps along the way.
It seems to me one of the most important considerations is 'control'. To fully succeed you must understand and (wholeheartedly) believe you can control yourself. To fully succeed you must understand and (unconditionally) accept you cannot control other people or situations. The more you believe in and practice self-control the greater your ability to 'be there' and 'be positive'. The more you accept the limitations around your ability to control other people and situations the greater your ability to 'be there' and 'be positive'.
To be clear - I'm not talking about 'fundamentalist' perfectionism...or about taking huge leaps or about making major sacrifices. I'm talking about taking some initial small steps aimed at 'experiencing the moment' as an observer. I'm talking about setting personal desires/goals aside for brief moments...long enough to listen to one other human being. I'm talking about imagining another possibility that isn't laced with annoyances (or doom-and-gloom thinking). I'm talking about trusting others. I'm talking about thinking between the lines of other people's comments/actions rather than jumping all over them and proving you are right and they are wrong.
PS: Now this all makes sense doesn't it? I mean, it makes sense at least until all that adrenalin and cortisol kicks in.
by Rick Baker
On Jan 29, 2016
Most people accept the fact placebo medications sometimes/often bring about improvements in patients’ medical conditions. Somehow, the process of receiving a medication from a professional helps patients overcome illness…even if the medication is a placebo, i.e., a ‘fake’ medication. For the placebo to work, something has happened in the patient’s mind. The patient, either consciously or subconsciously or [likely] both believes the medication will work.
And, the psychologists’ conclusion is: the mind has the power to promote self-healing.
Or, at last, some people’s minds have the ability to promote self-healing. If they believe a pill will help them then the pill helps them…even if the pill is a fake.
Now, isn’t that interesting. That conclusion jives with Napoleon Hill’s teaching: “What the mind can conceive, and believe, the mind can achieve.” It jives with ‘The Law of Attraction’ [whether or not you believe The Law of Attraction has limitations].
This brings to mind the quote, attributed to Henry Ford –
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”
A Placebo update -
According to recent psychologist-authors, the power of the placebo goes beyond the points presented above. Here’s what new research has confirmed:
- when ill people are not aware they are receiving a placebo pill, some of them improve as if they had received a proven-successful drug [i.e., as described above]
- when ill people are told they are receiving a placebo pill, that has no proven ability to do anything to help their illness, they too improve as if they had received a proven-successful drug
In the first situation…the mind conceives and believes the pill will work then helps the body achieve improved health
In the second situation…then mind suspends belief that the pill has no curing power then proceeds to conceive, believe the pill will work and help the body achieve improved health
Now, isn’t that even more interesting!
***
Can you conceive the power of your mind?
Do you believe your mind can help your body?
What would you like your mind to help your body achieve? For work? For play? For life?
***
Wouldn’t you like to possess Placebo Empowerment?
by Rick Baker
On Jan 25, 2016
Stress is one of our natural response mechanisms.
But, what exactly is stress?
There are a huge range of definitions. Stress is what you feel/think in reaction to things ranging from little annoyances [such as slow-moving lines in grocery stores] to major life events [such as deaths in the family]. Stress is linked to anxiety and a number of other psychological and physiological things.
Even the experts cannot agree on a definition of stress. When it comes to defining stress, I expect it is best to ignore the experts.
Regardless, don't get tied up in efforts to define stress: you know what stress is. At least, you know what stress means to you. You know how you feel about stress. And, if you are like the vast majority of people you don’t feel good about stress. You view stress as a problem. If you are like the vast majority of people then for you stress is, at best, a necessary evil…a persistent problem you must cope with.
If you believe in The Law of Attraction [i.e., either in a general way or in a hard-core way] then you must accept that viewing stress as a problem enhances the likelihood stress will be a problem. Even if you don’t believe in The Law of Attraction, you might agree that negative thinking tends to exacerbate problems.
That said – perhaps, you can adjust your thinking to believe stress is a not-all-bad fact of life.
Sure, stress may bring about psychological problems like anxiety and depression. Sure, stress may increase the risk of disease and death. Those are possibilities. Those are logical-supported conclusions. However, they do not create very helpful mindsets. In fact, they make for rather troubling and possibly self-destructive mindsets.
When we stew over stresses, we cannot at the same time hold thoughts and feelings of self-confidence.
Without self-confidence, we have little to offer ourselves or others.
For this reason alone, we must believe stress is a not-all-bad fact of life.
When we believe this, we approach life’s problems [both the small ones and the major ones] with a different mindset…a more-productive attitude. Opportunities become visible.
And, we ingrain the habits required for peace of mind.
by Rick Baker
On Nov 19, 2015
A year and a half ago I wrote some thoughts and questions About Perfectionists.
Since writing that Thought Post, I have read psychologists' views describing the linkages between anxiety and perfectionism. Psychologists, at least some of them, believe anxieties can build around thoughts about the need to perform work well. These thoughts are held until the anxieties 'take over' and the mindset becomes one of perfectionism. Criticism is a play here...in the perfectionist's mind. Perhaps, it appears to be self-criticism. However, it seems to me that 'self-criticism' does not develop in the absence of prior 'external criticism'. Likely, the external criticism began many years before perfectionism appeared. Excessive criticism of children by parents or other authority figures likely is the major contributor to if not the root cause of perfectionism. That external criticism might have been real. Or, I suppose, it could be perceived.
Then, as the saying goes, perception is reality...so, it likely doesn't make any difference if external criticism was real or perceived/imagined. What matters is criticisms have generated heightened anxieties and, over time, those heightened anxieties have gained a high level of control over the mind. And, the combinations of criticism and anxiety have led to perfectionism.
That is plausible.
That provides some clues as to how leaders should react to perfectionism.
Leaders must take care when they observe perfectionism in action.
Leaders should avoid reactions/actions that could expand anxieties experienced by perfectionists.
Leaders must understand they may need help from professionals who are trained to help people who experience excessive anxiety.
by Rick Baker
On Oct 26, 2015
Do you think thinking just happens automatically?
Do you think you think well?
Do you find your brain is prone to operate in knee-jerk mode?
***
Sure, thinking does happen automatically. However, outside of the occasional gem of insight, automatic thinking is the lowest level of thinking.
One way of looking at automatic thought: automatic thought happens when the brain is switched ‘On’ and the mind is switched ‘Off’.
Automatic thought has two forms:
- True/helpful Insights
- Knee-jerk Thoughts
True/helpful Insights – we all receive them from time to time. However, they represent a very small portion of our thoughts…for most people true/helpful insights happen so rarely it is reasonable to forecast they make up perhaps 1% of automatic thoughts. The other 99% of automatic thoughts are knee-jerk thoughts.
Knee-jerk Thoughts come in two forms:
- Automatic Negative Thoughts [Dr. Daniel Amen coined the term ‘ANTs’…link to Thought Posts about ANTs]…ANTs cover a full range of emotion-laced negative thoughts, which often lead to negative actions and inactions: fears, worries, anxieties, bad attitude, etc...and all the bad habits that stem from these negative states of mind
- Half-baked Ideas…these take our thoughts and actions on wild goose chases, down rabbit holes and up pipe dreams
Knee-jerk thoughts consume and waste much energy. While it is impossible [and therefore unwise] to try to remove all knee-jerk thoughts, attitudes and outlooks improve when ANTs are controlled and half-baked ideas are tested before they waste too much energy...half-baked ideas need to be 'oven tested'. ANTs respond well to cognitive behavioural therapies. Half-baked ideas respond well when tested under oven-approved recipes that blend in common sense [particularly, wisdom of the ages], open-mindedness, a sense of adventure, and a pinch of creativity.
***
Is your brain prone to operate in knee-jerk mode?
...might want to work on that.
After all, knee jerks are much different than more sophisticated leg movements such as those involved in walking...let alone running in the right direction.
by Rick Baker
On Oct 1, 2015
I've never met a leader, including the bad ones, who did not exhibit superior skills in the area of attention to detail. [That comment was first published September 16, 2014 - Leaders skills can be damned annoying - and it generated some questions.]
***
Now – I’m not saying they exhibit a superior overall level of attention to detail. While I believe that is likely true, it is not the point I am trying to make here.
The point is - leaders, both the highly-successful ones and average ones, focus their attention on selected things and dig deep into the details of those selected things. In this way, leaders exhibit superior attention-to-detail skills.
Leaders:
- select/choose topics of key interest to them,
- focus/hone their attention on those chosen topics, and
- sustain/repeat that intense attention for long periods of time.
These 3 actions – selecting topics of interest, focusing attention on those topics, and sustaining that attention – are what leaders do to a far greater degree than other people.
And, these 3 actions promote increased knowledge in specific areas and increased attention-to-detail [in those specific areas].
***
If you accept the concept of brain neuroplasticity, as described in detail over 100 years ago, and as proven scientifically during recent years, then you will understand how the above 3 actions ‘feed upon themselves’ to grow solid and unshakable thought processes. These deep-rooted thought processes serve specialists as they master action-skills and develop strength in performance.
***
When leaders do the 3 things described above, they are thinking and acting in ways that take them toward their long-term goals. The 3 things, by definition, are good habits...good leadership habits. In summary - all leaders do the 3 things: select topics, focus attention, & sustain attention. Other people are less selective, less focused, and give up more quickly.
Of course, some leaders possess far greater skills than others and some leaders make better choices than others. As a result, some leaders succeed and achieve their long-term goals while other leaders do not.
|
|