Sometimes expectations adjust themselves to fit the realities of situations; sometimes expectations do not align well with realities of situations; sometimes expectations stray far from the realities of situations.

Perhaps, expectation-adjustment is a matter of IQ, or is it EQ, or is it both?

Do you ever think about how easy or difficult it is for you to adjust your expectations to fit the realities of the situation at hand?

Do you ever judge others according to their ability to adjust their expectations to react to or align with the realities of situations?

Are you influenced by real-life stories about people like Henry Ford, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Steve Jobs?...people who had such conviction about their own ideas that they refused to hear when others said, “No, that’s impossible. That cannot be done.”

And how about Churchill's "we shall never surrender"…that dogged determination rallied a country in the midst of severe adversity.

We see such doggedness in business. The problem is, sometimes, we see an over-abundance of dogged expectations. We see people being doggedly determined over the smallest of items in the most unwarranted of situations.

It seems some people must win control at all costs, at all times, in all situations.

For these people, every conversation flirts with or hammers into crucial territory.

Some people underestimate the importance of selecting their battles with care. For them, everything must be contested and few topics offer a safe haven for discussion or escape from conflict of opinion.

Some people must expend energy at every point of what could be conversation.

When will must win at all costs, expectations become blind to the realities of situations.

***

Which reminds me of advice I have received from people who have been important to me:

• Pick your battles carefully.
• There's a time to march and a time to fight.
• Better to remain silent and be thought a fool...

”Our main thinking habit is to analyse situations so that we can recognize standard situations and then apply standard answers.”

Edward de Bono

`The Six Value Medals`, (2005)

As you analyse Situations, do not limit yourself by assuming they are 'standard'...explore and see if there are important nuances that deviate from familiar patterns:

• direct your attention toward the key parts of the Situation [the People, the place, the level of urgency, the 'props', the background noise, etc.]
• compare those parts, looking for similarities - the parts that fit a pattern you recognize
• compare those parts again, looking for differences - the parts that do not fit a pattern you recognize 
• look for the parts that catch and pull at your attention...they can be the most-important aspects of the Situation
• set logic aside and take some time to focus your attention on your gut feel
• use your special insights to fully appreciate the value contained in the situation/circumstances

Strive to identify Situations that contain special circumstances…special circumstances that serve as catalysts for your unique talents and gifts. Be confident in your ability to either rise above problems and grasp hold of opportunities. Be confident in your ability to customize your exceptional contributions in reaction to the signals you [alone] receive as you analyse Situations.

And always remember…

”Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance.”

Bruce Barton 

American Author & Politician (1886-1967)

Footnote:  

”Circumstances - what are circumstances? I make circumstances.” Napoleon Bonaparte

In his first inaugural address, in 1933, U.S. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Starting with this sort of thinking, FDR proceeded to take the series of planned actions that broke the back of the Great Depression, bringing vitality back to the U.S. economy and the economies of many nations around the world [including Canada’s economy].  

FDR was one of the most-influential leaders of the 20th Century. FDR understood people. FDR understood the power of positive thinking backed by decisive action.

While his words "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." have puzzled many people, FDR knew what he meant and when he took decisive actions in the form of 'fireside chats' about what to do with money & banking the American people quickly understood how to bring about positive change. FDR understood fear and he understood how fear could be mastered. 

Perhaps FDR thought along these lines...

Fear is a necessary part of life. It is not a ‘necessary evil’...it is not a burden we have to bear in order to have the opportunity to more fully appreciate the good parts of life. We should not look at fear in that sort of light.

Rather, we need to accept that fear contains value.

Yes - in excess fear can debilitate or craze, wreaking havoc. But, fears do not have to become excessive. We have the power and ability to make choices that limit and remove fear-damage.

The key is to face each fear and nip it in the bud, before it swells to excessive proportions/perceptions.

When faced and nipped in the bud, fear educates and serves as the catalyst that triggers courage. When faced over time, fear can be a vital part of the process for building self-confidence. Fear, properly faced and nipped in the bud, is the fundamental building block for strong character and influence.

Perhaps fear is a necessary precursor to, the essential ingredient for, true self-confidence. That seems to be an accurate description of one key role fear plays in our lives, the other key aspect being self-protection.

Fear protects.

Fear is at the roots of strength of character.

Really, considering the positive roles fear alone serves better than all other mindsets combined, we do not have to fear fear. We simple have to muster the conviction to work through our fears.

The key thing: we need to understand how fear affects our energy. Is it killing our energy? Is it kindling or sparking our energy? Shun the former. Embrace the latter.