Thought Tweet #980 How do we rebuild trust? One small, well-thought-out, personal, positive step at a time. 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Maybe you care about the damage trust has experienced?

Maybe you want to repair that damage?

Maybe you do not know how?

When we tell people what to do our batting average is low.

Batters cannot improve their batting averages by telling the other team's pitcher what to do. Batters can improve their batting average by observing the other team's pitcher, learning about the pitcher's habits, and adjusting action as required....setting a plan and practising the action.

Hockey players cannot improve their scoring statistics by telling the other team's goalie what to do. Hockey players can improve their scoring statistics by observing the other team's goalie, learning about the goalie's habits, and adjusting action as required...setting a plan and practising the action.

Similarly, poker players, darts players, Olympic athletes, chess players, movie actors, etc., etc. don't improve by telling other people how to behave.

All these people improve by observing others and changing themselves as is required.

This importance of this fact of life is lost on many business people.

The marketplaces and business hierarchies seem to be breeding grounds for underestimating the need to observe other people and the need for ongoing self-improvement. The marketplaces and the business hierarchies make it too easy to avoid the need for these things.

Perhaps the guise of business teamwork feeds this dysfunction. 

You can buck this unfortunate trend.

You can choose to observe other people.

You can choose to observe co-workers, bosses, subordinates, clients, suppliers...a whole range of other people.

You can choose to observe heroes and heroines...today's and those from times gone by. 

You can choose to adjust yourself...call it 'changing for the better'.

You can choose to emulate the best qualities you observe in other people...other successful people.

You can choose to adjust your thinking and you behaviour to fit the realities of what you observe in other people. 

You can have the ability to understand the nuances of 'serenity' [or is it just good-old-fashioned-common-sense...or the 'Zen'] to know strategy of accepting others as they are and adjusting yourself to fit the People and the Situation is a route to success.

The best baseball batters do it.

The best Hockey players do it.

You can do it too. 

Dr Daniel Amen identified a problem that impairs people's happiness and success in life.

He called the problem "ANTs"...Automatic Negative Thoughts. 

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Control of Automatic Negative Thoughts is a way to improve the quality of one's life¹. 

Control of Automatic Negative Thoughts is also a way to expand one's ability to Influence other people.

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"Summary of A.N.T. Species²:

1. "Always" thinking: thinking in words like always, never, no one, every one, every time, everything.
2. Focusing on the negative: only seeing the bad in a situation.
3. Fortune telling: predicting the worst possible outcome to a situation.
4. Mind reading³: believing that you know what another person is thinking, even though they haven't told you.
5. Thinking with your feelings: believing negative feelings without ever questioning them.
6. Guilt beatings: thinking in words like "should, must, ought or have to."
7. Labeling: attaching a negative label to yourself or to someone else.
8. Personalization: innocuous events are taken to have personal meaning.
9. Blame: blaming someone else for your own problems."

Footnotes

1. The process of controlling ANTs is a method [say, cognitive behavioural therapy method] of moving from pessimism toward optimism.
2. Source: AHHA Self-Help Articles Collection  link 
3. Mind reading: An important example is jumping to conclusions about other people's Intentions. Another important example of jumping to conclusions is Attribution Bias.