by Rick Baker
On May 16, 2012
You have intelligence.
You have self-control.
You have 2 of the 3 essential ingredients required to handle even the toughest situations. And, the toughest situations you experience all have one thing in common...People...at least 2 people - you, being one of them.
In addition to intelligence and self-control you need to have the correct mindset.
James Allen captured that correct mindset as follows:
"No situation can be difficult of itself; it is lack of insight into its intricacies and the want of wisdom in dealing with it, which give rise to the difficulty."
James Allen, 'Byways of Blessedness', (1904)
To handle tough situations you must have insight into the intricacies...
As the saying goes, "The devil is in the details". You remove those devils by mastering the details of situations. You excel at this when you excel at understanding people because the toughest challenges are always about people....the differences in people. To gain insight into the intricacies of people you start with yourself - gain self-knowledge. Then you learn about the differences in people. Understanding the differences in people will cause you to want to listen to others. And, the more you listen the more you will understand the differences in people. That's like adding tools to your tool kit. The more tools you have the more intricate work you will be able to perform. And, of key importance, the more confidence you will possess. That confidence will serve you well when difficult situations arise.
Wisdom: wisdom is gained when trials-and-errors are blended with thought and a desire to do better. Knowledge comes from books and personal observations. Wisdom comes from the addition of personal experiences. To handle tough situations one must first learn by experiencing them, making mistakes, and doing better next time. That's the School of Hard Knocks way. As an alternative to learning everything that way, one can anticipate tough situations. Then one can predetermine the best ways to handle those tough situations. That's what sales people are taught to do when they role play various aspects of the buying-and-selling process. Well-designed mental exercise can be practiced and confidence can be gained. Confidence is key.
Handling Tough Situations:
- your Intelligence
- your Self-Control
- your knowledge of self and other people
- your wisdom from the School of Hard Knocks
- your ability to anticipate Situations
- your ability to think through best courses of action for those Situations
- your self-Confidence
References:
- for more thoughts see the Category called Business Contains Only 3 Things: People, Process, & Situations.
- for more thoughts on Confidence visit this link Confidence
by Rick Baker
On May 15, 2012
Thought Tweet #477 We benefit when someone or something makes us do what we can.
The Thinking Behind The Tweet
Even the great Ralph Waldo Emerson needed that sort of help. Emerson said, "What I most need is somebody to make me do what I can."
People Only Do 3 Things: Good Habits, Bad Habits, & New Things.
When we want to develop better habits we need an injection of accountability; we benefit when someone or something makes us do what we can.
A link to Changing for the Better
by Rick Baker
On May 8, 2012
Self-Control: the battlefields where logic is outnumbered by emotions and desires.
It seems most people face a life-long war over self-control.
The battles about Self-Control happen on 2 fronts:
- The Desires Front: where short-term 'pain' fights & struggles with long-term gain
- The Emotions Front: where Logic is alone, surrounded & ounumbered, and must face Emotions
The Desires Front
I am going to make this personal...I am going to talk about chocolate ice cream. I desire that. I desire it on scorching-hot summer days. And, I desire it on bitter-cold winter days. And, I desire it on many days in-between. I also desire healthy arteries and 36" belts. So, the battle lines get drawn. I can have and enjoy the chocolate ice cream today...or...I can have and enjoy good health in the future. Now, I know I could choose a compromise where I limit the amount of chocolate ice cream I eat; however, it is very hard for me to do that because I'm dealing with (1) chocolate and (2) ice cream. Self-control is the battlefield. Logic is surrounded by conflicting desires for and against chocolate ice cream.
The Emotions Front
One example:
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. I remember my parents teaching me that when I was a child. And, I believe I understood the underlying message. However, it took me a number of decades to be able to conquer my emotions to the point where I felt comfortable writing
The Joys of Thick Skin & a Thin Skull. The logic is sound: there is no reason why criticism should cause injury or trigger negative emotions. Yet, for some people, likely for most people, it does. And, some people are born with, or develop at an early age, a natural tendency to experience the emotion of anger when they are criticized. I know that's the way I was. Self-control is the battlefield.
Logic faces, its Goliath, Emotions.