From time to time, you feel victimized. We all feel that way, from time to time. There can be good reasons for feeling victimized. Sometimes we are victimized: others attack us verbally and sometimes even physically. Bullies, for example, stole our lunch money or chased us around the schoolyard at recess. When we grew up and went to work the bullies stole our ideas and humbled us in other ways, behind our backs and in front of coworkers.

Over time and with repetition of these victimizing experiences, some of us became victims: developing the self-image of a victim, developing the bad habits of a victim, and exhibiting the persona of a victim. These people are who I am referring to when I use the words, "Always-the-Victim".

Always-the-Victim means a life filled with painful thoughts and negative mindsets.

At the weaker end of the Always-the-Victim spectrum we find the people who chronically exhibit and practice avoidance. At the stronger end of the spectrum we find the bullies who pass on what they have learned. At each of these Always-the-Victim extremes we find the people who pass on and force on to others the thinking and actions that perpetuate the Always-the-Victim condition.

The Always-the-Victim condition relies on heredity and environment for its perpetuation. And, as you know, the world is ripe with people and situations who do their part to act as victims and do what they can to cause others to become victims. This is a part of the human condition. While it appears to be a bad/unpleasant/unfortunate part of human nature, perhaps it is not. Perhaps, it is more like an educational lesson or a test? Perhaps, it is something we should observe (in real time)...then think about your personal thoughts and actions.  Are your thoughts and actions those of a victim? If the answer to that question is "Yes" then are you OK with that or do you want to make some changes?

If you are Always-the-Victim and you want to change for he better, how will you go about that?

Will you change your thoughts?

Will you change your actions?

Will you seek help from others who have mastered the Always-the-Victim condition?

Sure, we can be distracted or negative but let's remember we have these other two choices: being there and being positive.

If you are not naturally inclined to ‘be there’ and ‘be positive’ it will take some time and effort to adjust your mindset into those zones. 

Being There: It is easier to 'be there' when you are curious, tolerant, and truly interested in other people.

Being Positive: It is easier to 'be positive' when you are genetically predisposed toward optimism, hopeful about the future, and creative enough to envision alternatives and possibilities.

Perhaps, you are not at this time blessed with any of these traits.

Regardless, you can become an expert at 'being there' and 'being positive'.

Yes, any normal human being can become an expert at 'being there' and 'being positive'. It will, of course, require some effort. It will require some thought. It will require some education - ideally, self-education over a patient period of time. In addition, it will require a desire to grow and excel as a person. And, a good sense of humour will help you along the way.

There is no perfect approach to developing the abilities to 'be there' and 'be present'. These abilities are built over time, by trial and error, and you will make missteps along the way.

It seems to me one of the most important considerations is 'control'. To fully succeed you must understand and (wholeheartedly) believe you can control yourself. To fully succeed you must understand and (unconditionally) accept you cannot control other people or situations. The more you believe in and practice self-control the greater your ability to 'be there' and 'be positive'. The more you accept the limitations around your ability to control other people and situations the greater your ability to 'be there' and 'be positive'.

To be clear - I'm not talking about 'fundamentalist' perfectionism...or about taking huge leaps or about making major sacrifices.  I'm talking about taking some initial small steps aimed at 'experiencing the moment' as an observer. I'm talking about setting personal desires/goals aside for brief moments...long enough to listen to one other human being. I'm talking about imagining another possibility that isn't laced with annoyances (or doom-and-gloom thinking). I'm talking about trusting others. I'm talking about thinking between the lines of other people's comments/actions rather than jumping all over them and proving you are right and they are wrong.

PS: Now this all makes sense doesn't it? I mean, it makes sense at least until all that adrenalin and cortisol kicks in.

Most people accept the fact placebo medications sometimes/often bring about improvements in patients’ medical conditions. Somehow, the process of receiving a medication from a professional helps patients overcome illness…even if the medication is a placebo, i.e., a ‘fake’ medication. For the placebo to work, something has happened in the patient’s mind. The patient, either consciously or subconsciously or [likely] both believes the medication will work.

And, the psychologists’ conclusion is: the mind has the power to promote self-healing.

Or, at last, some people’s minds have the ability to promote self-healing. If they believe a pill will help them then the pill helps them…even if the pill is a fake.

Now, isn’t that interesting. That conclusion jives with Napoleon Hill’s teaching: “What the mind can conceive, and believe, the mind can achieve.” It jives with ‘The Law of Attraction’ [whether or not you believe The Law of Attraction has limitations].

This brings to mind the quote, attributed to Henry Ford –

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”

A Placebo update -

According to recent psychologist-authors, the power of the placebo goes beyond the points presented above. Here’s what new research has confirmed:

• when ill people are not aware they are receiving a placebo pill, some of them improve as if they had received a proven-successful drug [i.e., as described above]
• when ill people are told they are receiving a placebo pill, that has no proven ability to do anything to help their illness, they too improve as if they had received a proven-successful drug

In the first situation…the mind conceives and believes the pill will work then helps the body achieve improved health

In the second situation…then mind suspends belief that the pill has no curing power then proceeds to conceive, believe the pill will work and help the body achieve improved health

Now, isn’t that even more interesting!

*** 

Can you conceive the power of your mind?

Do you believe your mind can help your body?

What would you like your mind to help your body achieve? For work? For play? For life?

***

Wouldn’t you like to possess Placebo Empowerment?