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by Rick Baker
On Mar 20, 2017
I recently read an article, written by a sales guru about four years ago. The article stated “relationship selling is dead”. As I read this effort at sales wisdom, I had to smile. Obviously, the fellow who wrote this article has not attended some of the meetings I've been in recently. I've had the pleasure of sitting back and seeing some extraordinary relationship-selling and relationship-buying activity.
The conclusion: Don't believe the hogwash about the death of relationship selling.
There's no question, relationships are changing. This applies to relationships in general and more specifically to sales-client relationships. As an example, I believe it can be much more difficult to initiate sales-client relationships now than it used to be. This is particularly true if “relationship” is framed in face-to-face personal contact.
For some people, relationship selling has fallen and always will fall somewhere between a challenge and an impossibility. My guess is the fellow who wrote “relationship selling is dead” is one of those people who either has never made an effort to sell or has made an effort and found the work to be somewhere between challenging and impossible. So, writing “relationship selling is dead” aligns very well with that person’s experiences, mindsets and natural talents. In other words, the person lacks the natural gifts that must exist if a person is to succeed at relationship selling.
The fact is, for many people relationship selling is still alive and well.
Don't let them hogwash you. Regardless of all the stereotyping and pedantic arguments provided by sales gurus, relationship selling still flourishes with some people. The sales gurus who possess sales ability understand relationships are a critical piece of the sales equation. The sales people who understand this don’t generally parade their sales views – they focus on getting sales done.
by Rick Baker
On Mar 14, 2017
Common sense tells us:
- Most people look for a fair deal, where both parties exchange value,
- Some people look to cheat others, heads I win - tails you lose, and
- Some people look to help others, expecting little or nothing in return.
Those three things probably fit nicely in a bell curve, where the norm is business people exchanging fair value with one another.
That's the viewpoint here: most business people do business with one another in an effort to obtain some value and deliver some value in exchange.
People exchanging value - that's the essence of business.
If you agree with that then to grow business you must increase the exchange of value. And, as you work to increase the exchange of value you will do better if you know how both parties define the value they seek and the value they deliver.
Most business people just scratch the surface of value exchange. Sales people tend to know the value they think they're delivering. Purchasing people tend to know the value they think they're receiving. Sales people may make a serious effort to try to determine what the purchasing people want to receive. Purchasing people may make a serious effort to try to understand what the sales people want to receive. But it's highly unlikely their thoughts go beyond those things. For example, sales people do not understand what value the sales people who work at the purchasing person's company are looking to receive or deliver. And, vice-versa, purchasing people do not understand what value the purchasing people who work at the sales person's company are looking to receive or deliver.
Even worse, sales people do not understand the value the purchasing people at their organization are trying to receive and deliver and purchasing people don't know the value their organization's sales people are trying to receive and deliver.
People tend to know what they want and what they're prepared to deliver in exchange for it. However, they have a much smaller understanding of what other people want and are trying to deliver in exchange for it.
This applies within companies. This applies between companies. This applies between people.
Some years ago we addressed this with our Clients' Clients Philosophy.
Here are the starting-point questions …
- What value do you want to receive from people at other companies?
- What value do you want to deliver to people at other companies?
- What value do other people in your company want to receive from people at other companies?
- What value do people in other companies want to receive from other people in your company?
***
People who possess an ongoing curiosity around questions about what other people value have the opportunity to excel in business, to excel in interpersonal relationships, and to deliver and receive tremendous value.
Some people are too busy. So, they don't get these things…and they don’t get most of the other things they want.
by Rick Baker
On Mar 7, 2017
Confidence is a personal thing.
There is no reason to design your self-confidence in a way that fits someone else’s viewpoint or rules.
Your self-confidence can and should be as big as you want it to be…including believing you’re better than anyone else. If you choose to think that way, you will be in good company:
- consider how Muhammad Ali felt and thought when he was in his prime1,2
- think about Wayne Gretzky – would any of us have told Gretzky to stop thinking he was the best?
- think about Napoleon who changed the world
Now, some people confuse confidence with cockiness/hubris/conceit…
Perhaps cockiness does correlate with confidence; perhaps, on average, confident people are cockier than people who are not confident?
Regardless: cockiness is not about what you believe; cockiness is about how you behave. You can choose to be confident without choosing to be cocky. And, confidence without cockiness is a magnetic, inspiring combination.
On the one hand -
No question – sometimes highly-confident behaviour can be off-putting to other people.
On the other hand -
No question – thinking you are better than anyone else can result in Olympic gold medals, putting a man on the moon…and numerous examples of business brilliance.
It seems to me…
Champions and serious contenders must believe they are better than anyone else. Otherwise they are doomed to not be champions or contenders for very long. This applies in the big picture [the major political stages, the premier-level sports stages, etc] and it applies on smaller-scale stages [your chess club, your karaoke contests, etc].
People with lesser ambitions should not impress their non-champion or non-contender beliefs on champions or other more-confident competitors.
Footnotes:
- I have special memories of Muhammad Ali. He ignited my life-long interest in the sweet sport. I remember, when I was very young, attending fight night at our local arena...watching Ali on the big screen, listening to my Dad and his buddies root for the other guy [ex. Joe Frasier]...and all the time wondering why I wanted Ali to win...and wondering what funny things Ali would say to the reporters after he won the fight. Sure, Ali was both confident and cocky. For me, his cockiness was a small thing to endure to witness his tremendous personality and humour...and, of course, his champion-level boxing performances.
- In December 1999 Muhammad Ali received some rather special recognition. Here's a couple of examples: he was named Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of The Century and BBC Sports Personality of the Century.
by Rick Baker
On Feb 16, 2017
Some followers are intimidated by Leader's self-confidence.
Here are some Spirited suggestions, to help you make sure you do not come across that way:
- Be authentic…it is OK to be on the reserved side of centre if that is your character…it is OK to be on the boisterous side if that is your character
- Be committed to working on self-improvement…i.e., raising his or her own self-confidence when that is required, as it will be from time to time
- Focus on strengths: personal strengths and the strengths possessed by others
- As Dale Carnegie taught, be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise".
- Make full and appropriate use of humour…some leaders have just a little of it and will need to remind themselves of the importance of putting it to good use…other leaders have heavy doses of it and they will need to remind themselves to never let it go too far…self-humour is best…humour at the expense of others is an absolute no-no
- Listen…resurrect that art if it has become lost
- Master your emotions…and keep them under control [most of the time]
- Live with Integrity…as defined here
by Rick Baker
On Feb 13, 2017
Subtitle: Death by hyperbolic hyperbolas of hyperbole
When I was a child, the adults in our neighbourhood had a habit of stopping me and asking me to answer math questions. As one example, they would hold out a hand, open it to show a bunch of coins, and ask me how much money was in the hand. I would provide the answers. Then, they would smile at me, congratulate me, tousle my hair, put their money into their pockets and walk away. When I was about 6 years old, after it was crystal clear none of them were ever going to give me any of their money, I concluded none of the adults in our subdivision knew how to count their money. I brought that to my parents' attention. My parents told me the neighbourhood adults did understand basic math and went on to explain I possessed a bit more math skills than the other kids in our neighbourhood and the adults got some sort of kick out of it. With that new perspective, an idea hit me. I asked my parents if they would show me their coins, which they did. I added up my parents' coins, gave them the accurate totals and, much to my surprise, they too smiled, congratulated me, tousled my hair, put their coins back into their pockets and walked away. That was my early exposure to zero-sum gaming. And, perhaps, in some puzzling way, that story of my early math experiences has something to do with the point of the little tirade to follow.
Regardless...
Later in life I found myself answering math questions during university level exams. I wrote dozens of those exams. So I now understand, somehow, at an early age I developed a habit of knowing how to answer math questions. Math habits have persisted.
And, my modest but persistent knowledge of math has produced a few side-effects.
One side-effect is, when people make claims like they are doing things beyond 100% it catches my attention and my thoughts. I have thoughts like, "Don't these people know when you've got 100% you've got it all & when you've given 100% you've given it all?"
Giving 100% is superlative-enough territory...I mean...that's all the way...that's the limit of your giving.
Giving more than 100% - well, that's defying the laws of at least mathematics...probably, the laws of physics...and possibly even the Laws of Nature.
How can you trust a person who makes claims like, "Boss - I'm giving 110%!"?
Some people go even farther. You often hear people talking about their 150% performances and you hear a small but noticeable group of people, apparently of boundless ability, making performance claims at preposterous levels such as 1000%.
Don't ya think these people are going overboard?...I mean, being excessive?...being exorbitant?...really going overboard?...over-killing things...and beating them to death too?...I mean, really, really, really going overboard...with those hyperbolic hyperbolas of hyperbole?
by Rick Baker
On Jan 30, 2017
For example, consider Civility...
Civility is defined as polite and respectable behaviour. It is part of good manners. Good manners means things like respect, civility, and harmony. Whereas, bad manners means the opposite: disrespect, incivility, and conflict. Good manners are linked to courteous behavior, which is marked by visible consideration of others.
Some people 'spot': they return kindness with kindness; if you are respectful of them, they return the favour.
Some people 'lift': they display natural civility and courteousness, both learned traits [either taught by parents or others in early childhood or learned through self-education].
Some people 'just keep adding weights': they appear to derive satisfaction out of criticizing, humbling, and otherwise causing grief for other people. Evidently, they do not understand this approach removes the ability for long-term success. Sure, it can yield short-term results. Regardless, over time, no strong person will tolerate people who 'just keep adding weights' to their lives. And, people who are not strong will struggle more as weights are added and ultimately be crushed, in spirit if not physically. And, people who are not strong are by nature not very helpful on the road to long-term success.
The road to long-term success contains a nearly-endless series of challenges. People who 'spot' and people who 'lift' do a better job of handling those challenges. People who are civil and courteous do a better job of handling those challenges.
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