by Rick Baker
On Nov 12, 2012
Thought Tweet #606 4 reasons to listen: (1) to respond, (2) to act, (3) to understand, & (4) because it's your job. BIG difference!
The Thinking Behind The Tweet
I wonder if anyone has done a study of listening skills in those 4 categories.
If such a study has been done, it probably shows:
- Many people's minds are focused on how to respond rather than how to understand [or asking themselves , "Am I understanding?"].
- Many people's minds are thinking more about how to act than how to understand [or asking themselves , "Am I understanding?"].
- Listening to understand is much rarer that we assume.
- If we expect people are listening to us because it's their job and we're the boss then we are likely to be disappointed regularly.
by Rick Baker
On Oct 31, 2012
Thought Tweet #598 If you're in the dark, don't make light of things.
The Thinking Behind The Tweet
Optimism, Pessimism, & Realism... how do you find the right overall balance and the right strategy for the situation at hand?
Some thoughts:
- Overall, be Optimistic: look for the bright side, consider the possibilities, be around and listen to others who are enthusiastic. Optimists live happier lives.
- Place realistic bounds on Optimism. Despite what they say about big, hairy audacious goals - BHAGs are not for everyone. And, often, over-zealous optimism injures other people.
- Pessimism demotivates. If you are naturally pessimistic...think before your share your views and your body language.
- Leaders - anticipate situations. And plan for situations...of course not all situations - but some. Recognize some people handle stress well and some folks handle stress poorly.
by Rick Baker
On Oct 9, 2012
As always, Mark educated and energized the 100+ folks who attended CFFB's 2012-2013 kick-off breakfast event.
Mark, a social psychologist, talked about social engineering...he described his "interest in how situations that you find yourself in affect what you perceive, how you think, and what you do".
He went on to talk about the importance of storytelling in business...
"You are part of the definition of the situation."
"You are a storytelling animal."
"It takes a story to really engage people."
Why should business leaders tell stories?
- people are more emotional than rational
- people use analogies to make sense of the world
- people use proxies for analysis of their complex, social worlds [to simplify the world - situations and decisions]
- people don't pay attention most of the time
Here's an interesting research fact, shared by Mark: If you want to persuade people then speak quickly [not slowly]. People who speak quickly project confidence and signal competence.
Here's one of Mark's recommendations: Become a better story listener, ask questions like
- "Tell me about __________________.",
- "How did you come to _________________?", and
- "Did something happen that _________________?"
Characteristics of good stories:
- memorable
- build connection between the storyteller and the audience
- evoke emotions that serve the purpose of the storyteller
- connect with the core [driving] interests of the audience
In contrast, most business communication is:
- dry
- overly complicated
- more about the speaker than the audience
When you create business stories, be clear about your purpose: after this presentation/story/conversation my audience will ____________________, ____________________, & ___________________.
And, before you communicate, think about your audience:
- how does the audience see themselves?
- how does the audience see me? [my company? my industry?]
- how much does the audience know? [on average, speakers tend to overestimate how much the audience knows]
Mark suggested four good story buckets:
- a time you shone
- a time you blew it
- about mentors [humility & gratitude]
- books, movies, & current events
Mark Weber