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Name of author Rick Baker, P.Eng.

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Criticism, Adrenalin Spikes & Improving Relationships

by Rick Baker
On May 15, 2017

Some people naturally repulse criticism. These people may show outward signs of their repulsion. These people may not show outward signs, or their repulsion may hide so well it would take a professional observer to notice it. Regardless, internally, these people churn in reaction to criticism. For these people - even small, innocuous pieces of feedback can trigger intense internal reactions, floods of adrenalin – adrenalin spikes.

  1. Do you know people who show vehement reaction to tiny criticisms…people who have zero tolerance for incoming criticism?
  2. Do you know people who, at first, show no outward reaction to criticism then, later, strike excessive reactionary blows against the person who delivered the criticism?
  3. Do you know people who have the habit of claiming they are the victim of undue criticism?
  4. Do you know people who repulse criticism yet deliver it to others with gusto and righteousness?

These are four common reactions to criticism.

I have personally exhibited at least three of these four reactions to criticism…and, probably, many people would think I’m selling myself short by not admitting to all four.

Why?

Why would I have had such reactions to criticism?

Not having much knowledge of physiology or biology and only dabbling experience with psychology I answer that question this way:

  • When people criticized me, I experienced adrenalin spikes [or was that cortisol?]. I felt strong, churning, tightening sensations in the gut…quickly followed by combinations of anxiety and anger, often intense anger...then excessive negative thoughts and behaviour.
  • This reaction must have started when I was a very young child. I have no memory of reacting any other way to criticism [until the last decade, that is].
  • Perhaps, my criticism-repulsion was are due to genetics? Perhaps, my childhood environment? Perhaps, my early experiences with authority figures? I expect it was some combination of these things.

Here’s a curious thing. When you experience criticism-repulsion as a child you can be quite oblivious to other people. And, this can cause challenges…a large variety of interpersonal challenges. Left unattended, these interpersonal challenges can last a lifetime.

Here’s some good news. It is possible to gain self-understanding and create strategies to overcome the interpersonal challenges. The starting point, or at least one starting point, is recognition of the physiological changes that signal less-than-ideal reactions to criticism. People, perhaps most people, can alter their bad habits [including adrenalin spikes] if they choose to make the changes and do the work required.

 

PS: Perhaps, the people who experience the criticism-repulsion I have described are most capable of identifying it in other people? ... and helping others?  

Conflict at our offices: is it a foe or a friend?

by Rick Baker
On May 8, 2017

I have experienced some synchronicity around this topic...I have witnessed several unrelated instances...some people have complained about the interpersonal damages done by office conflict while others have applauded the value office conflicts have injected into innovative and creative processes. 

Business empires have been built around office conflicts and 'crucial conversations'. In some cases the empires are bestselling books, must-do and how-to manuals aimed at teaching people how to diffuse, reduce, remove office conflicts. At the other end of the spectrum, we have a touted genius-of-our-time and an empire formed around the legacy of a partially-eaten apple. 

And, interpersonal conflicts create huge challenges in family businesses: parent-child rifts, sibling rivalry, family distrusts. When these entrenchments exist it is easy to determine the cause/fault. It always rests with the other guy! 

On the other hand, according to some experts, strongly-expressed differences of opinion lead to creative breakthroughs. Thick-skinned people locking horns in boardrooms and other meeting rooms...generating many diverse ideas...reaching a single decision...enjoying consensus...working in unison...achieving desired goals. 

Radically different views about Office Conflicts!

What's your personal comfort zone?

Your comfort zone: that's the key area...

What's your personal comfort zone?

  1. How far are you prepared to stretch your comfort zone to accommodate other people's viewpoints? 
  2. How open are you to accept different styles of communication when other people express their viewpoints?
  3. How clearly do you communicate your personal values and rules?

Put another way:

  1. Are you open to 'possibilities and 'new things'?
  2. Are you open to different personalities and communication styles?
  3. Do you know and share these important aspects of your character...telling stories to explain why you are the way you are?
As the ancient Greek maxim goes - "Know Thyself".

When you know yourself and know how to share important aspects of yourself with others you have the opportunity to be part of teams that excel at communication.
 
Internally - These successful teams may operate in friendly ways or in not-so-friendly ways.
Externally - These successful teams will present a unified front.
From Your Perspective - These successful teams will be inspiring, productive and gratifying.

Don't dwell on the wrongs; just learn from them.

by Rick Baker
On May 1, 2017

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

Life provides a continuous series lessons. The lessons appear in two forms. They appear to us as things that are right. They appear to us as things that are wrong. They set the boundaries for our behaviour. They set the boundaries for our judgement of others.

We embrace the things that are 'right'.

When we are operating at our best, we learn from the things that are 'wrong'.

Tags:

Habits: Good Habits, Bad Habits, & New Things | Solutions & Opportunities | Thought Tweets

Elegant solutions - serving business leaders.

by Rick Baker
On Mar 30, 2017

Business leaders are opportunity-seekers and problem-solvers.

Business leaders need help so they can take on ever-bigger opportunities and solve ever-bigger problems.

Business leaders need people who 'get it' and can deliver 'elegant solutions'.

Elegant Solutions are:

  • Tasteful
  • Graceful
  • Attractive
  • Simple
  • Clear

Why Tasteful?   

  • One reason - broader appeal

Why Graceful?   

  • One reason - the steps flow and make sense

Why Attractive?  

Why Simple?

Why Clear?

Tags:

Communication: Improving Communication | Seeking Simple! | Solutions & Opportunities

When it ain't broken but it's broken

by Rick Baker
On Feb 14, 2017

Sometimes...

Every action, taken on it's own, seems right and feels right.

Yet, when you add all the actions altogether you do not get the result you desired and things no longer feel right or seem right.

That, in a nutshell, is the it-ain't-broken-but-it's-broken problem.

This it-ain't-broken-but-it's-broken problem exists because:

  • The rules are not clear or not enforced,
  • The goals all are either non-existent or ambiguous, and
  • The consequences for failure are either not clear or not taken seriously.
Don't be distracted or dissuaded by that saying, "If it ain't broken, don't fix it".
 
Sometimes appearances are deceiving. Sometimes actions appear to be done to perfection and yet the desired results do not follow. Sometimes actions are done to perfection and they never had a chance to succeed because they were not the right actions.
 
And, sometimes, whether things are broken or not, we just know it's broken
 
That's the beauty of intuition and the value of gut feel. 

Tags:

Beyond Business | Goals - SMARTACRE Goals | Master Rules | Solutions & Opportunities

Escaping a whirlpool of compounding errors

by Rick Baker
On Feb 6, 2017

Problems are what life throws at us to make sure we know we are truly alive.

Errors are what we do to make sure we don’t forget we are human.

While we are accustomed to experiencing and working through an ongoing string of problems and errors. From time to time our errors compound in surprising ways. When that happens, sometimes, small errors lead to strings of errors and that can lead to severe problems and major damage.

When we have made a little error we have choices. One of the choices is to ignore the error. Another choice is to remedy the error and do that as quickly as possible. When we make these reaction-to-errors choices we pave the path for habits. These habits can be good habits. These habits can be bad habits. Our changes are matters of our choice.

When we react to errors by making extreme choices [extreme changes], we tend to fail. For example, when we overdo discipline we tend to alienate and annoy people. On the other hand, when we fail to illustrate sufficient discipline people tend to wander and make poor decisions. In either case, at either extreme, errors tend to compound.

When we react to problems with too much discipline, the consequence can be avoidance due to fear or some other negative mindset. When we react to problems with a lack of discipline, the resulting actions tend to be lackadaisical. Either way, if the extreme practice is continued to the point of habit, we tend to breed compounding errors.

So, when we react to errors in inappropriate ways, sometimes we get caught in a whirlpool of compounding errors.

When we are in a whirlpool of compounding errors it is as if time gets away on us. We feel like we don’t have enough time. This shortage-of-time feeling becomes an excuse, a mindset that justifies more errors. As problems continue to whirl relentlessly around us, we feel we are losing the little control we have been clinging to. As the whirlpool rages on, our frustrations, worries, and fears expand. These negative mindsets consume our energy and our positive-spirit and this reduces our ability to deal with or learn from our problems.

We cannot let that happen.

We cannot take our errors lightly or allow our problems to get the better of us.

When we are caught in a whirlpool of compounding errors we must resist the current. We must fight the urge to tolerate small errors. We must give fresh thought to old problems. We must take new actions. We must seek out the lessons contained in our errors.

We must use every opportunity to learn from errors.

Only new approaches will help us escape the whirlpool of compounding errors.

Copyright © 2012. W.F.C (Rick) Baker. All Rights Reserved.