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Name of author Rick Baker, P.Eng.

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When Disagreement Between Partners Becomes Chronic Dysfunction

by Rick Baker
On Jan 23, 2014

People disagree with one another. That's normal…people view situations differently.

Business partners disagree with one another. That's normal…there is value in differences.

Sometimes arguments get out of hand. That's normal...we all make mistakes, sometimes big ones.

Sometimes, when people spend years together in chronic disagreement and argument they can barely tolerate one another. Sometimes, items that should be easy to discuss and resolve become triggers for major upsets and slugfest battles. And sometimes, the ongoing stressed and strained relationship becomes quite dysfunctional, marked by irrational interactions. Little things said or done by one person, whether intentional or not, ignite and inflame the other person.  

When relationships between business partners are like this, it is not normal. 

When business partners live in chronic dispute it is not normal...and it is not healthy...not healthy for them…not healthy for other people they interact with...not healthy for the business.

Yet, as in any bad marriage, when business partners are in conflict it can be extremely difficult to repair the damages that, over time, created the root problem. The root problem is Failure to Communicate, coupled with at least one "character flaw".  Failure to Communicate is a common problem. Character flaws are common problems.

When partners live in chronic dysfunction, egos are in continuous battle. Egos are in battle to gain control. Egos are in battle to experience feelings of importance.

Each person needs to feel in control and each person needs to feel important and appreciated.

Yet, because of the long history of dispute and discomfort, at least one partner refuses to give up ground to the other partner. And, at least one partner refuses to accept concessions when they have been extended by the other partner.

The situation is an impasse and the partners are locked in an uncomfortable and dysfunctional relationship of dispute and disagreement.

Why would business partners live that way?

They live that way because they do not know how to correct chronic interpersonal dysfunction. Most business people have received very little education in the areas of self-control, changing for the better, improving communication, or influencing other peoples’ behaviour.

They live that way because the problem of dysfunctional interpersonal interactions is offset, at least to a degree, by ‘positives’. ‘Positives’ are often complementary technical strengths.

Really, the choices are few. When partners are in chronic dispute they can:

  1. Accept that situation, truly accept the chronic dysfunction and stop viewing it as a problem, or 
  2. Figure out how to part company, or 
  3. Figure out how to remove the dysfunctional behavior.

Each of these courses of action can be easy or difficult.

It is a matter of mindset.

T

 

Tags:

Communication: Improving Communication | Emotions & Feelings @ Work

Measuring Motivation

by Rick Baker
On Jan 21, 2014

Motivation def’n: the force that influences people to act

Measuring motivation: an ‘ability of consciousness’ that differentiates human beings from other animals

You’re human – so, naturally, you measure other people’s motivations. You observe people. And, automatically, you measure their motivations.

If you are skilled at measuring motivation then you may enjoy harmonious and low-confusion interactions. If you are unskilled at measuring motivation then you likely experience regular challenges and conflicts when you interact with other people.

Motivation and Influence are siblings. If you want to be a leader then you want to be able to influence people. And, your influence will be maximized when you understand and make use of other people’s inherent motivations.

Dale Carnegie taught, “Win friends and influence people.” Generations earlier, Abraham Lincoln said, If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.” Yes, friendship or at least willingness to work in harmony is helpful in influencing other people’s behaviour. However, there is a more-important thing. More important than friendship is the ability to accurately assess other people’s motivations. For some leaders, the key to accurate assessment is the gift of natural ‘empathy’, the ability to understand other people’s feelings. For other leaders, the ability to accurately assess other people’s motivations is a learned skill…it is a planned & learned personal strength.

Fundamental to this learned personal strength:

  1. a broad and deep understanding of human nature,
  2. keen powers of observation, &
  3. knowledge of the power situations hold over people's behaviour.

How about you?

Do you possess a natural gift that allows you to understand other people’s motivations?

Or…

Do you work continuously to improve your ability to understand other people’s motivations?

Or…

Are you just winging it?

Bringing Process to People & Bringing People to Process - Part 3

by Rick Baker
On Jan 17, 2014

Link to Part 1

 

Bringing People to Process - What does that mean?

We can lead a horse to water but we can't make it drink.

We can lead a person to work but we can't make them do it right.

Horses have to want to drink before they drink.

People have to want to do work right before they do work right.


The Key Message: When People want to do work right, their businesses excel.

So, let's focus on helping people want to do work right. Let's not just delegate work to them, let's make sure the work to be delegated makes sense and let's make sure the delegation is performed in a most-influencing way.

The work to be delegated - that's the ingredients.

Influence - that's the key secret spice, the flavouring for success.

To do a better job of Bringing People to Process, we need better preparation. To prepare, we need to learn about people so we have a good working knowledge of WHY people become motivated and HOW we can assist them in becoming motivated. After we know these things we need to adjust our delegation processes. We also need to adjust the tools we use to communicate work-process.

Here's a 'prime example': Taking Talent to Task...i.e., to fit the context of this 3-Part series of Thought Posts, re-word that - Bring Talent to Task

NOTE: There is a very special relationship between Talents/Strengths and motivation/ability to perform Tasks well. That's why Bringing Talent to Task is a 'prime example' of how to improve your business performance.

We Bring Talent to Task when we:

  1. Know individuals' Talents & Strengths,
  2. Know the details of the work we want done [the nature of the work-process, the details of the Tasks, and the specifics of the required actions],
  3. Know how to delegate in ways that influence and cause people to feel accountable, &
  4. Perform the delegation successfully.
 

Conclusion:

Anyone can bring process to people. The best leaders know it takes thought, commitment, and effort to excel at process design, including communication design and especially delegation design.

Anyone can bring people to process. The best leaders know the keys to success are individuals' self-motivation and how leaders influence people in ways that inspire the right actions to generate the right results.

Bringing Process to People & Bringing People to Process - Part 2

by Rick Baker
On Jan 16, 2014

Link to Part 1

 

Bringing Process to People - What does that mean?

There's a spectrum of answers to that question. The spectrum ranges from Delegation to dumping. Since dumping just creates a pile of garbage we will focus on delegation. Delegation is about assigning and transferring authority from one person to another. So, delegation is the decision-making engine of business.

Delegation is a business Process performed by People. To be more specific, delegation is the Process of assigning and transferring decision-making Processes to People. People can do this Process directly [face-to-face] or indirectly [using tools ranging from memos to phones to email, etc.].

While that's a laborious description...based on how poorly many business people handle delegation it is of value to try new tactics to cause them to give the process of delegation more thought.

There's more to Bringing Process to People.

In summary, there are 2 ways business Processes meet business People:

  1. Delegation - introduced above
  2. Tools - created by people to assist work performance and to assist delegation
In business, tools range:
  • from monitors to metal lathes
  • from wrenches to robots
  • from software solutions to 'STRENGTHSFINDER' assessments
  • from French curves to Facebook
  • from 1-Page Tools to a truck for two men
 
About Delegation & Tools
 
When business people delegate they are Bringing Process to People in two different forms:
  1. They are Bringing Future-Work Process to People - setting expectations and transferring responsibility & accountability. 
  2. They are Bringing Delegation-Communication Process to People - possibly consistent with setting expectations and transferring responsibility & accountability or possibly not consistent with those objectives.
In general, Canadian business people do not invest enough time designing clear work-process and they invest even less time - often, no time - designing ways to delegate effectively. We Canadians need to remedy these shortfalls so we are better able to influence people, inspire action, and grow business wealth. Delegation is a good place to start applying our remedies. After all, Delegation is the Decision-Making Engine of Business.

If we want our business people to excel, we need to prove we care about keeping our decision-making engines humming. 

We can use a range of tools to help keep our engines humming.

1-Page Tools are particularly helpful because they can be customized to fit specific needs and each individual's learning style. 


...to be cont'd


Bringing Process to People & Bringing People to Process - Part 1

by Rick Baker
On Jan 14, 2014

Process - What does that mean?

Processes are sequences of tasks, performed by People or machines.

The sequences of tasks can be simple. For example, a Process might have 4 task-steps which are performed in series...in a defined chronological order...the next task starts after the current task is completed. Think of making cookies from a box of pre-mixed ingredients: that's a simple Process.

The sequences of tasks can also be complicated or complex. For example, sending a man to the moon and back involves numerous task-steps sometimes happening in simple sequences, sometimes happening simultaneously [co-existing], and sometimes causing real-time adjustments to other tasks [interactive co-existence].

Processes can be easy or most-challenging.

Processes happen in either planned or unplanned ways.

And, Business Contains Only 3 Things: People, Process, & Situations.

People - What do they mean?

Now, isn't that a loaded question?

Yes...intentionally.

On the one hand, People are easy to define: they are folks just like you and me. 

On the other hand, each of us is unique.

While certain Processes are easy to define using words like simple, complicated, and complex, it is dangerous to assume such descriptions or definitions can be used with reliability when the topic is People. The word 'assume' was underlined to highlight the difference between assume and conclude.

With that done...

While certain Processes are easy to define using words like simple, complicated, and complex, it can be very helpful to conclude such descriptions or definitions can be used with reliability when the topic is People.

However, before concluding things about other People it is essential to know:

  1. WHY it is wrong to assume but often helpful to conclude,
  2. WHY you must conclude if you are to be successful at influencing people, &
  3. HOW to go about assessing whether or not concluding fits the specific person and situation.
All of this is around the essence of Bringing Process to People & Bringing People to Process.

You've heard the saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink."

That's a piece of wisdom, which has survived the test of time.
 
How about - 

Success with horses has a lot to do with how you lead them to the water!

 
...to be cont'd

Thought Tweet #912

by Rick Baker
On Jan 14, 2014

Thought Tweet #912 The thicker the explanation, the less absorbent the message. It's like a paper-towel paradox.

 

The Thinking Behind The Tweet

If it don't make sense and the explanations that follow make even less sense...methinks the person doth protest too much.

When you mess up a communication - stop, think, accept the burden of error, and speak concisely, with clarity.

Tags:

Communication: Improving Communication | Humour | Thought Tweets

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